Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt is a NC non-custodial mother in North Carolina who has had one supervised hour of visitation with her children in over 2050 days. This is more visitation than inmates in Raleigh get with their children and it is time for the Onslow County NC Courts, along with Onslow County Department of Social Services, to bring this matter to a resolution. In reading about Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt, many may be quick to point out her past mistakes which are significant, but she has payed her debt to society and is making needed changes to her life. By keeping children away from another parent for over 2050 days without so much as a supervised visit, we believe that the father in this matter, along with DSS and court officials, are creating an environment that will make reunification with Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt difficult for the children which is not in the best interest for them. Many in our organization might be shocked to learn that NC Fathers is helping Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt (a non-custodial mother), after all our organization is supposed to be creating a system where there are more non-custodial mothers and custodial fathers right? WRONG! Our organization believes that NO parent should be stigmatized to a different role than another parent. We are not here to reverse roles, and see more non-custodial mothers, we are here to advocate for all non-custodial parents in their quest to become equal parents with equal access especially when they have done bad things and make changes. NC Fathers also has a message for the ex-husband of Shawn, being a father in North Carolina who usually winds up on the wrong side of custody matters, you would likely be on our site claiming how the system is unfair and how you rarely see your children. Given this fact, seeing you capitalize on Shawn’s past and alienating her from the kids in this matter is beyond comprehension. One would think you would understand the plight of non-custodial parents and work for a system that is about equality and one that puts children first. We also believe this issue is very much related to this mother’s case. This is Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt’s story:

People ask me all the time “How this could have happened?” My answer is still the same. I have no idea.

By Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt

In 2005 My ex husband came home from Iraq a changed man. We had had problems of Domestic Violence for years which eventually led to me leaving him in 08’. At which time he came down to my home state of Texas to retrieve myself and our two kids with promises of “getting help”. It never happened. There are police reports showing how intense the situation grew, however they were always based on lies. He’d leave me stranded at home and run to the magistrate to file charges in which I would be picked up and put in jail, most dismissed never gaining conviction but 1 for simple assault. In 09’ I decided to separate and asked him to not return to our home. He did that and due to money and his career he decided to make it a legal separation hiring Deke Owens out of John Drew Warlick Law Firm in Jacksonville, NC. I hired Vicki O’Brian after receiving my initial paperwork, an attorney with Collins and Maready also in Jacksonville, NC. Ms. O’Brian later passed my case onto Ms. Maready due to her transfer to practice Law at Camp Lejeune. There are several police reports stemming from March of 09’ to Aug of 09’ for various reasons made by my ex husband, non of which held ground for charge until Aug 23rd of 09’. He stated I tried to “Run him over with the car”. Assault with a deadly weapon against a US Marine. The event never happened. The officers involved wrote the report and my ex did what he always did, took it to the magistrate. It was dismissed that night so he returned the following morning and it was given. I was arrested and taken from my home, our children, my vehicle, income, and life. He filed an emergency restraining order and to this day I have yet to be allowed back. Now having Ann Maready as my attorney, she had taken most of Ms. O’Brian’s caseload, I was an inconvenience. My Case was shuffled and excused never being properly advised. I didn’t have the money to hire an attorney for the criminal charge so I was court appointed Lee Britt. My criminal case (involving Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt) was continued over and over again until May 3rd 2010 at which time he brought no witness testimony, not even the police officers into defend me. I was Convicted off hearsay by Judge Caroline Jones. During that time, the lies had continued. At first my ex stated the children were with me at the time I tried to run him over which involved DSS of Onslow County. Sue Patterson was my investigative caseworker. She claimed she had spoken with witness that I later proved she in fact never did. I was charged with child neglect in punishment for tearing a care bears head off and neglect by injurious environment for the front steps of my home being removed and at said time of arrest being changed out with new one, just hadn’t completed yet. She said since they were not connected, it was injurious. My DSS case was passed to Robin Isenheart. Where I was ordered to under go classes and receive supervised visits. My ex husband immediately after my arrest went after custody of my children, and had even tried to add them to the restraining order but was unable too as my crime had nothing to do with them. I had actually signed up and started classes long before ever being told to go, so when asked to go by DSS I was already going. My ex excused himself from a couple of the supervised visits by taking children out of state and work, so in total I receive 6 one hour visits supervised by DSS from Aug 24th 2009 to Jan of 10’ when he accused me of violating the restraining order by contacting my children. DSS had told me the children could receive phone calls from me, although I had told them and they were well aware of the restraining order I could not call my home phone (which he now had possession of) or his cell phone to talk to them, they told me to buy them cell phones. I did. Through T-Mobile. He in turn in Jan of 10’ told Judge Sarah Seaton I violated the order by calling my kids on their phones because I said hello when he answered the phone. She added my children to the restraining order and continued the criminal case. (All of this went in front of Jones in May of 10’) My ex had tried me 3 times on 3 different occasions for violating the restraining order.

• I had sent my father to check on my children.

• I had gone to residence to check on minor child when he left her home alone.

• Calling the children’s phones to talk to them.

When I went to court in May of 10’ I was convicted for 1 & 2 but not 3. My father was in another state burring his brother, unable to testify. So this was hear say. I did go check on my child when she was left alone so that was legit if there would have ever been a real truthful conviction to prosecute me on. In November of 2009 Ann Maready had gone to court for me during my first custody hearing. She stated that signing over “Temporary custody without prejudice” Was with in the best interest of all involved and that it could never be used against me in the future. I trusted that. After signing she told me I needed to “Take a moment with Jesus.” My ex had come to me that following month and told me if I fired her, he would let me see my kids freely. So I did. For reasons just that. May 3rd I was convicted of nothing more than hear say for the following:

• Assault with a deadly weapon

• Violation of a restraining order

And sent from the bench to serve 48 hours in county jail. My divorce was heard on May 5th prior to my release. No one let me go to my hearing although I wrote the Lt. a request to go. I was released that evening and put on intense probation for a year on May 6th. My probation officer was Gail Hargett. I was asked to pay my monthly fines, probation costs and also to under go an Abuser Program, which I did all of. In Aug of 2010, my daughter made contact over Facebook. Because Lee Britt had thrown me under the bus, and I knew this was a violation of probation I hired Ed Bailey, also out of Jacksonville NC. Yes I wrote her back. What mother wouldn’t?? Judge Hardison set a $10,000 bond and I spent weeks in jail to gain the money to get out. When I finally did make it in front of the Judge, I was convicted and sent to Texas to spend the remaining time of my probation. I (Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt) left that December. Aldo Judge Thagard wrote up an order stating clearly that in any future issues he was the only judge to hear this case. At said time I was advocating against domestic violence and aiding women all over the county in getting out and getting help. I was asked to go to court by the state as a state witness in one case. I went. My ex seen me in town, called the police stating I “drew a smiley face in his driveway made of sand.” I was charged. Court appointed attorney Lee Britt, again because I didn’t have funds for an attorney. I went in front of Judge Thagard. Convicted. 45 days in prison. What gained this conviction wasn’t the lie I was charged with but my honesty in saying I was in town for court. His advice was that I should not have broken the court order, that when it was lifted he would have taken care of the bench warrant. Which I did not know to do. The day I was released from probation, I did exactly what I had stated I was going to do all along. I was going to have lunch with my daughter at school. I had called Major West of the Onslow County Sherriffs Dept and made arrangements to be received by the resource officer at the school to assure all paperwork was good and I was clear by the law to do so. My ex went to Judge Thagard and told him I tried to remove my children from the school. He then ordered a Civil No Contact order set indefinite or until we go back before him. My family hired Waneta Ellis out of New Hanover, NC while I served my time in prison. Since then, she was relieved from the firm and my case was passed to William Paragoy. I received ONE one hour supervised visit with my children March of 12’. The children’s councilor, Louise Biller, decided to cut them until I got a court order because she didn’t like my lawyers tone. (Have proof of that too) He has held my case for nearly 2 years and I have yet to get in front of Judge Thagard. I have since hired a detective to get statements from all police involved proving my innocence in every allegation. Which I have. I have done everything asked in past to correct any ill notion set by anyone at any time through the entirety of this mess. Classes. 3 years steady therapy. I learned to tuck my head low and just “get thru this. Never giving up. I live, breath, eat every moment to get back to my children. I am not an advocate for women and children. I live in Raleigh as the lies continue. I was slandered to the point I could no longer bear. It still continues but now it’s over the internet. My family has split due do differences in opinions on what I should now do. My mother feels I should return to Texas and put this all in Gods hands and My father feels I should tell Judge Thagard what has happened and leave him to decide mine and my children’s fate. All I can think of is getting back to them. I have literally been in front of every single Judge in Onslow County at one time or another since Aug of 09’. They have ALL stamped my case in one form or another. Which is all on public record. I am Shawn Adele’ Fabian-Schmidt 1203552, Birth Mother of 2 beautiful kids and I will not rest until I hug my children and kiss their foreheads.

Lee Britt is now an Attorney for Onslow County DSS

Louise Biller is a former DSS worker

As a non-custodial parent advocate, NC Fathers is calling on Onslow County NC court officials and DSS to immediately find a resolution to this matter so that Shawn Adele Fabian-Schmidt and her children can be reunited and start the process of re-building their lives. No parent, regardless of what they have done, should lead to being removed from children’s lives for this long especially when changes have been made and there are ample ways for this mother and her children to see each other safely on a routine basis. This case demonstrates just how abusive the family courts and Social Services has become in their process of allowing two parents to excoriate each other for the grand prize of custody, and in doing so creating an environment where the other parent is marginalized to a second class role in natural biological children lives.

In doing some research the other day, I happened across the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV) website and discovered some information that while not surprising, needs to be available to men, women, and their families in North Carolina.

If any of you have been reading my prior post, much of the information in this one will be redundant. However, the main goal of this article will focused on putting the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their staff at the top of the search engines where more North Carolina men and their families can learn how this organization seems more interested in gender and sexual politics than ending violence for everyone in NC. In what is literally a slap in the face of men, this coalition states the following about the causes of domestic violence on their website:

“We believe that patriarchy, gender inequality, and all oppressions play a central role at the individual, institutional, and cultural levels in creating and maintaining an environment which accepts domestic violence. We believe it is vital to understand and advocate for the elimination of all forms of oppression, including, but not limited to: sexism, racism, and homophobia.”

“We believe it is critical to serve all domestic violence survivors, regardless of race, age, class and ethnic group, sexual orientation, gender identity, mental and physical abilities, religious and spiritual beliefs, and immigration status. We know oppression comes in all forms and leads to secondary issues for survivors; we will strive to serve all survivors of domestic violence and their respective needs.”

You read that right, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence places it’s central reasoning for domestic violence in NC around patriarchy, gender inequality, and female oppression as the chief causes of domestic violence and places zero emphasis on stress, financial difficulty, substance abuse, marital conflict, or emotional/mental issues. Furthermore, the Coalition lists every single class of people on this planet who are survivors except men. This would indicate that they believe not one single man in NC has ever experienced being slapped, intimidated, or threatened.

Furthermore, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence went on to state:

“We believe that through the power of our shared experiences and collective voice, we can work together to create individual, institutional, and cultural change. We will work intentionally and actively to create safe spaces for survivors of domestic violence. We believe the voice and experience of survivors must be the foundation of our work, and that the domestic violence movement can change society.”

Definition of a coalition: a pact or treaty among individuals or groups, during which they cooperate in joint action, each in their own self-interest, joining forces together for a common cause.

How can the NCCADV state that they have a coalition of men and women sharing collective voices and shared experiences if the men in their organization are patriarchal oppressors bent on gender inequality? Or, are these men too stupid to see that they are being used as tokens to make the appearance of a coalition? Or, one could argue that they are there to simply stay in the good graces of federal money the coalition gets from federal and state grants. Either way, it is super irresponsible for the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence to interject common radical feminist words like patriarchy into the narrative of domestic violence rather than focusing on the established causes for this social ill.

In doing serious research on domestic violence, we come across many of the most hard line feminist websites that have their own cherry picked statistics on violence and even they admit to a small fraction of female perpetuated violence, but that apparently escaped the idelogs at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

A Message To Women Supporters of the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence

As stated earlier, I think it is irresponsible for male supporters of this NC coalition to support the executive staff use the very serious issue of domestic violence in order to advance a political agenda claiming female inequality and oppression that does not exist. But there is another group of even scarier supporters at the coalition. That is women in their ranks who have sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, nephews, and male friends. If the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence is correct, and all social ills are directly related to patriarchy and masculinity, then there are a lot of sons and husbands that just got jammed into a box as potential domestic batterers.

I can guarantee you that not everyone who gives this coalition money and support believes that all their sons and male friends are sitting around conspiring to oppress women. For those within this organization who have sons who have/will get their asses handed to them in the family courts, I hope they remember the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their support for them.

I am tired of seeing domestic violence coalitions hiding behind beaten women to fund other political agendas. Domestic violence in North Carolina is a very emotional hot button topic that many professional lobbyists and politicians use to broker power and gain votes. “Do it for the children,” they say. What they are saying is “If you don’t support what I am doing I am going to paint you a child hater and abuser in the public.” This is how they quash anyone who asks questions, holds them accountable, or attempts to open dialogue.

I refuse to be held hostage by this political play on words anymore and I am calling out the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence staff as sexist radical feminist that have no intention on ending violence and would rather play politics with peoples lives. All victims of domestic violence in NC deserves better than what this coalition is pushing and I am sorry to see so many Men and Women throw their own gender and sons under a bus just to be part of some sexist political machine.

Additionally, I am disheartened to know that politicians in North Carolina support this coalition and give them the ability to further divide our state along gender lines. If you truly want to end domestic violence in NC, then a new coalition needs to be built – one that is bipartisan, gender neutral, identifying all domestic violence, and using statistical data from organizations that are neutral on the subject.

The NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence Needs To Hear From NC Fathers and Men

I wonder if anyone at the NCCADV has ever heard of Erin Pizzey who is largely considered the women who started the very first domestic violence shelters in the UK and is now a staunch advocate for advancing information that modern domestic violence lobby groups like the one we write about in this article are using violence to drive a narrative that is more closely resembling politics rather than ending violence for everyone. The video below is her story.

In my attempt to call out the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, I hope Women and Men who read this will reach out to the executive staff within this coalition and let them know that they are no longer safe to sit in their protected bubbles and push phoney statistics to the people of North Carolina in an effort to drive funding. It is important that we all do this even if not from NC because I will be the first to join in a fight with you against a similar organization anywhere in this world if it means furthering your activism and change on this issue. And, I suspect that the supporters of NC Fathers feel the same way.

Lastly, I ask that you share this article with others on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ in an effort to expose groups like the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence who I believe is doing serious damage to many people, and who seem hell bent of furthering ideological agendas rather than ending violence against humanity.

You can make contact with NCCADV and Executive Director Beth Froehling HERE.

Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 both address Shared Parenting in North Carolina. To date, NC Fathers has yet to identify one group in North Carolina who lobbied to get these bills introduced into the NC Legislature and it appears that they did this on their own. While NC Fathers is grateful that many Representative and Senators are starting to think along the lines of Shared Parenting, we believe that Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 have hidden dangers which we will discuss here. We believe that the issues we discuss here will make it impossible to get future Shared Parenting bills ratified into law unless legislators change their thinking, or until there is a massive groundswell of NC non-custodial family voters making this an issue for politicians at election time. It is VITALLY important that members of NC Fathers make this document available to the Senate and House Judiciary members for their consideration for Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534. The members can be contacted by using THIS, THIS, and THIS web address. Furthermore, it is VITALLY important that the tens of millions of voters in North Carolina who come from non-custodial families continue to invite other non-custodial families from their communities to our organization and join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE so that we can educate them on why Shared Parenting in NC is in a child(rens) best interest. There are literally millions of non0-custodial parents and their families in NC, and more are created each and every day. Until there is an organization advocating for these families, Judges and Politicians will continue to value you only as a payment provider to the custodial parent, a tool to generate federal money back to NC for social services welfare, and visitors of your children instead of as direct parents and families who support their children directly and absent government involvement.

The first problem with Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 is that there is nothing mandating Shared Parenting at the Judicial level. If Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 were ratified in their current inception, Judges could (and will) use their discretion to continue the status quo of custodial parent vs. non-custodial parent that has proven so fruitful for custody lawyers who bank on two parents fighting for 18 years and using every tactic in the book to keep them fighting in favor of billable hours. NC Parents are spending on average of $60,000 over 18 years fighting multiple custody battles and modifications of custody, and we believe that this money is best spent on NC children’s future college tuition, house down payments, to start a business, or pay for medical bills. The NC Bar Association has for decades said that Shared Parenting is a bad idea, and no doubt Judges have received this message.

The second problem with Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 is that there is language in each that says if Domestic Violence is an issue in the relationship, then Shared Parenting cannot be considered. This is dangerous in that the definition of Domestic Violence is NC is so vague and low that virtually anything can be considered violence is the parent who wants custody decides they want to make an allegation. For instance, one parent yelling or slamming a door IS considered Domestic Violence under NC law if one parent “FEELS” threatened. We believe that if Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 were ratified today, family law attorneys would tell clients that if there is any history of domestic violence, we can bypass shared parenting in your case and when educated on what violence is, anyone can recall a time in the past when someone raised their voice, pointed a finger, or slammed a door. This will encourage more false allegations of domestic violence in North Carolina which will at a later date be used to show that Shared Parenting creates more domestic violence and have an impact on future consideration of shared parenting in North Carolina.

Think False Allegations and Preponderance of the evidence isn’t a problem? Read Here

Now, in the same vein, if there is PROVEN Domestic Violence, then absolutely Shared Parenting should not be considered.  But here is the problem with what is actually happening with Domestic Violence in North Carolina. The definition of DV has been lowered to mean anything that makes another party FEEL uncomfortable and threatened, or their life in danger. And, this does not have to be violent. Each day in NC, parents are found guilty of Domestic Violence or who have restraining orders placed on them for non-violent acts such as screaming. Also, Domestic Violence and Restraining Orders are prosecuted under “preponderance of the evidence” instead of “innocent until proven guilty” which simply means that there need NOT be any proof or witnesses to alleged violence in order for conviction. If a Judge simply feels that there is a 50.01% chance that violence LIKELY occurred, then your convicted. And, the history is that even when parents and accusers of Domestic Violence are found to have made false allegations, there is no prosecution of them.

Each day in North Carolina, one parent and their extended family loses contact with their children permanently because of false allegations and zero evidence based accusations that proceed to conviction.

Again, if Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 are ratified under their current language, then parents who do not want to share parentage will NEED and be encouraged to bring Domestic Violence accusations in order to not be considered in their case. The Domestic Violence lobby in North Carolina will LOVE this because they can then use the increased statistics to lobby for more federal and state money that go into their trust accounts and use this to kill any future talks on Shared Parenting in NC.

Again, if you are a non-custodial parent in North Carolina, it is VITALLY important that you share this document with your Representatives and Senators, as well as discover other non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members in your communities who desire to be equal parents with equal access to their children and who are tired of being valued by NC politicians who have no problem with you being labeled visitor to your loved ones and who are put under federal enforcement simply because of politics. We also ask that you share this article on Senate Bill 610 and House Bill 534 with other families in North Carolina excessively on sites like Google+, Facebook, and Twitter to bring about greater awareness.

NC Fathers believes that Restraining Order Abuse in NC is at epidemic levels and they are being used successfully to alienate children from one parent, line the pockets of lawyers who defend the accused, providing the framework for political endeavors by many Politicians and Sheriffs, used as tactical tools to win custody battles, and helping the domestic violence industry here in North Carolina to use manufactured statistic from false allegations to drive up their fund raising efforts. NC Fathers is NOT a law firm, and nothing in this article should be taken as legal advice. If you are the accused who is facing a NC Restraining Order then please seek out a lawyer. NC Fathers is an organization of NC non-custodial families who are seeking family court reform, social services reform, and for the presumption of equally shared parenting for children after a divorce. You can help our organization simply buy joining our mailing list and our Facebook page where you will have the opportunity to learn about our mission and interact with others in our group who have faced restraining orders that were brought against them wrongly. Additionally, if you identify with this article, please consider sharing this article on the many social networking sites so that others can learn more about our organization and goals.

Posts related to NC Restraining Orders – NC Domestic Violence lobby, Contempt Violations in Custody Matters

NC Fathers invites every NC non-custodial parent, their spouses, and family members to click on the blue and red graphic below to get a list of issues we have identified as being wrong with the family court system here in North Carolina which includes how false allegations and restraining orders are frequently and commonly used to alienate the other parent from children in divorce and to put the accusing parent in a better light to win custody of children more easily. The remaining data in this article will focus on how the issues described above allows for restraining orders in NC to be abused by Judges, Magistrates, Sheriffs, and others.

NC Restraining Order Abuse Perpetuated By County Officials

Key facts related to NC Restraining Orders:

• Restraining Orders in North Carolina are handed out like candy on the “better to be safe than sorry” principle. While this may sound good, feel good, and look good, the reality is that it exacerbates most domestic violence scenarios. Whenever Judges and Magistrates issue an order that removes one human from his/her home, prevent access to their children, causes job loss, and loss of reputation based on the word of another human being without due process or proof, then you are essentially throwing gasoline on fire.
• As with human nature, humans will use existing laws, and loopholes in laws to further their agendas. We typically see Restraining Orders being sought to put the other parent in custody battles and divorce of having to spend their money defending themselves in court (while the other parent does not) on simple allegations that required no proof, then having no money left to fight for their children in the family law system. Furthermore, if a restraining order can be issued for a year, this allows the accusing parent to establish consistency with a children which is one of the foundations for Judges when deciding custody battles.
• There is absolutely no prosecution of accusers when they file false restraining orders on false allegations, and the accused has to spend money getting the arrest off their record.
• Restraining Orders in North Carolina (and Domestic Violence)  are prosecuted under “preponderance of the evidence” rather than “innocent until proven guilty.” This means absent any proof or witnesses, one can still be found guilty of this crime if a Judge believes that it is likely violence was committed or there is a need for the restraining order. For Judges and Politicians who use domestic violence as a political tool for re-election, we believe that they allow these alleged crimes to proceed to conviction under preponderance of the evidence to stay in the good graces of the highly popular NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their federal money.
• Think this does not affect women? Women in paternal families see this abuse daily, and mothers with male children will likely experience this in the future once their sons are married or in a relationship. Furthermore, we do see restraining orders against women being used on a frequent basis, especially in custody battles. Also, one may want to consider this.
• It is important to remember that Domestic Violence is a very serious matter, but in NC the definition of abuse has been lowered such that almost anything can be considered domestic violence where a restraining order can be sought. This includes raising one’s voice or slamming a door.

Combating NC Restraining Orders By Non-Custodial Families

If you are a NC non-custodial parent or a member of their family, it is likely that you have had a prior restraining order placed on you which affected your employment, ability to see your children, live in your home, and have access to your personal belongings. It is also likely that you are the non-custodial parent because a restraining order was sought against you and this used in your custody battle. Furthermore, it is likely that the restraining order was given based on zero evidence or proof and you were either denied due process in defending yourself, the Judge used preponderance of the evidence to find culpability and you were summarily removed from your children’s life permanently.

NC Fathers encourages NC non-custodial families to contact NC Legislators and encourage them to make changes to NC Restraining Order laws that are being used as tools to win custody and as terrorism against the other parent.

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Carteret County NC is located in the eastern most part of the State of North Carolina and sits just south of the beautiful outer banks. According to the 2010 census, Carteret County has a population of 66,469 and consist of 1,341 square miles of land. The county seat of Carteret County is Beaufort. The area, also referred to as the Crystal Coast, is home to millions of vacationers who come to the county to engage in world class diving and fishing expeditions that are known by anglers and divers all over the world. The Carteret County NC beaches are also known to be very quaint and non-commercialized making it ideal for a quiet and romantic destination for those that do not like big crowds and prefer a walk along a beach at night looking for shells along isolated beaches. The municipalities that make up Carteret County are Morehead City, Beaufort, Newport, Atlantic Beach, Emerald Isle, Pine Knoll Shores, Indian Beach/Salter Path, and the communities “down east” such as Harkers Island and Cedar Island which is where visitors can catch the three hour ferry over to Ocracoke Island. As a visitor to the area, there are many small barrier islands just off the coast which are popular destinations for beach enthusiast that take ferries over to Shackleford Island to see the world famous banker ponies that have lived on the island since colonial days, and the amazing Cape Lookout lighthouse which is fully functional today. In the summertime, fishermen from all over the globe come to Morehead City to compete in the largest Blue Marlin fishing tournament called the Big Rock Blue Marlin Fishing Tournament.

Posts related to Carteret County NC – Carteret County Department of Social Services, Sheriff Asa Buck, Judge Clinton Rowe

Carteret County NC Events and Things To Do

If you are coming to visit or moving to Carteret County, here are some events that families can enjoy:

• NC Seafood Festival – This is an annual festival that takes place in Morehead City NC every year in October and is a celebration of the local seafood industry which is very important to Carteret County residents. This festival is a great opportunity for families to interact with others in the county, enjoy fair rides, eating plates of local cuisine food, and hear stories from elders and historians in the county who tell tales back to the days of Blackbeard the pirate. The Seafood Festival also helps raise money for various Carteret County NC charities.
• The NC Chocolate Festival – This festival is also another celebration in Carteret County that helps local charities and is obviously a big hit for those that love to indulge themselves in Chocolate. At this event, you can expect to find lots of great food covered in chocolate.
• The Beaufort Music Festival – This festival takes place each year along the waterfront of Beaufort NC (3rd oldest town in North Carolina) where bands from all over NC descend on Carteret County to play for locals. In the past few years, the Beaufort Music Festival has grown to be quite large and is starting to attract bands from out of the State.
• The Crystal Coast Grand Prix – This is an annual boat race that takes place along the Morehead City waterfront and is a great attraction for families that love the water, boats, and racing. This event was started by a Carteret County native who owns several businesses in the county and has a love for boat racing.
• Core Sound Decoy Carvers Guild – This annual festival takes place in Harkers Island NC and is simply a must see for those that love to watch duck decoys whittled from the finest Eastern NC wood available. This festival also holds many workshops that help preserve the local heritage of the “down east” communities that has a long history of decoy carvers.

In addition to the festivals above, Carteret County NC is an incredible destination for those that love to sail, take their boats out, and enjoy gatherings of people who turn sandbars into temporary party and social spots for the day. Additionally, the county has a very long historical slant in the State and one of the largest historical markers is the Fort Macon State Park which is a preserved civil war fort that was at it time considered a engineering marvel.

Carteret County NC Non-Custodial Families

NC Fathers is an organization of Carteret County NC Non-Custodial families, to include parents, step-parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents, all who we believe have had enough of the highly biased family courts and who are ready to see family law reform that makes equally shared parenting the norm after divorce instead of pushing one parent to the margins of his/her child(ren) as visitors and payment providers. NC Fathers believes that the best interest of children is to have two equal parents and extended families who support, love, and nurture children rather than what happens in the family courts where families are encouraged to fight like dogs and excoriate the other parent and family so that someone can win custody. We believe this has very serious impacts on Carteret County children. If you are in a non-custodial family in Carteret County, then we ask that you join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE after you review OUR GOALS and how we plan to bring this reform.

If you identify with this article, we ask that you extensively share this article on Carteret County NC with other families on sites like Google+, Facebook, and Twitter so that others can learn more about the county and the plight of non-custodial families to have equal parentage and access to their young loved ones. Also, if you have other information related to Carteret County then we encourage you to use the comment feature below to leave comments on this article.

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NC Fathers is reaching out to Republican Governor Pat McCrory and asking him to work with both Democrats and Republicans in bringing about comprehensive family court reform for the presumption of equally shared parenting to children after a divorce, breakup of a relationship where no marriage was in place, and to end abuse of the NC Adoption system where fathers not married to mothers are losing out on the ability to be biological parents and seeing their children adopted out without ever knowing about it. NC Fathers is an organization of non-custodial families who are on a mission to end their century long socialized visitor roles and payment providers they are stigmatized with by the courts, who understand that children need two equal parents and extended families, and who are tired of watching an industry encourage parental warfare for profit. Governor Pat McCrory needs to hear from North Carolina non-custodial families, to include parents, grandparents, step-parents, aunts and uncles, and other family members who are daily being marginalized in their children’s lives when they want equal parentage and access to their children. If you are in a NC non-custodial family, then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE where you can have your voices heard and collaborate with other families who seek change. We also ask that you review OUR GOALS and encourage other non-custodial families in your communities to join our organization so that our collective voices and voters can send a loud and clear message to the Governor that we are tired of the systematic bias and divisiveness in the family courts. NC Governor Pat McCrory should also be clear that NC Fathers is not a “Men’s Rights” organization or a “Fathers Rights” organization as we advocate for non-custodial mothers and women in paternal families who get equally hurt in this system. NC Fathers is asking that NC non-custodial families extensively and routinely share this article on Governor McCrory on sites like Google+, Twitter, and Facebook to help propagate this message.

Posts related to NC Republican Governor Pat McCrory – NC Adoption Crisis, NC Senator Richard Burr

NC Fathers is asking Governor Pat McCrory and his legislative staff, along with NC non-custodial families to click on the red and blue graphic below to get a reminder of the devastating divisiveness the NC Family Courts ask families to operate under for 18 years.

NC Republican Governor Pat McCrory and Non-Custodial Families

The first thing NC Fathers is asking Governor Pat McCrory to understand is that non-custodial families consist of a lot of citizens in NC who come from every cultural and religious background, political party affiliation, race, gender, educational background, socioeconomic background, and the family courts are creating us each and every day. NC Fathers is the only organization reaching out to these families, and we are finding a very angry group of people who are ready to join with us in this fight. Additionally, the Governor should understand that for many decades, special interest groups have attempted to define this fight as a Mother vs. Father or Woman vs. Man fight and this couldn’t be further from the truth considering the following information.

Roughly half of NC custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then Governor McCrory? With Equally Shared Parenting?

Also, the NC Governor must understand that if being a marginalized non-custodial father is bad, then it must be bad for non-custodial mothers who represent about 15% of mothers in North Carolina. Our organization does not advocate for either Mothers or Fathers independently, we believe that BOTH PARENTS and their families provide far greater resources and opportunities than social services and child support enforcement can ever hope to achieve.

Furthermore, Governor McCrory must realize that there are many women in non-custodial families who get equally hurt when their grandchildren, step-children, nieces and nephews, and brother and sisters see them on average only 4 days a month assuming the family courts didn’t allow the custodial parent to move them seven states away.

With regards to NC Child Support Enforcement, NC Fathers believes that federal enforcement of parents who make a decision not to be involved in their children’s lives when they understand they have children, and who have resources to financially support them is very appropriate. However, to tell a parent who does want to be an equal and active parent that they cannot and must submit to federal enforcement as a payment provider and visitor to their children is wrong. NC Fathers believes that the family courts are more focused on child support enforcement rather than building a system that provides a child as stable as possible family system after divorce or when a relationship between the unmarried parents ends. NC Governor Pat McCrory and NC Republican and Democrat lawmakers must realize that our organization is educating non-custodial families on why child support enforcement has become the standard by which one parent is defined, and it has a lot to do with politics and money. We are educating these families that the State of NC is receiving federal Title IV-D money on each dollar collected in child support that is then used to replenish Welfare money. In short, NC needs millions of alienated and marginalized non-custodial parents paying child support so that more and more federal money can be received into state coffers. If the NC Governor believes that this system is more beneficiary to children over these parents having their natural biological attachment with both parents then we have a problem. Governor Pat McCrory should also understand that there are many organizations and non-profits who have organized and found a way to monetize the inequality between parents and who make money from the system. One of the most notable is the NC Bar Association who gains when lawyers can bill and get retainers for 18 years when two parents fight. Unfortunately, when parents fight, the trauma ends up on kid’s heads. Another organization that has recently come out against shared parenting in NC is the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence who says that shared parenting will bring highly conflicted parents together on a more frequent basis and this will spur Domestic Violence. Additionally, that the more fathers who have access to their children, there will be increases in abuse of children. The problem with this theory Governor is that this assumes that the non-custodial parent is the only parent who has the ability to abuse children and creates a hurdle the non-custodial parent has to clear while the custodial parent does not. If the Governor does not believe this, we will be happy to provide ample evidence daily from across the nation where custodial parents kill and abuse children, and commit Domestic Violence. It is also important to keep this in mind, because of how the NC Family Courts operate, we know that one parent WILL HAVE TO BE labeled non-custodial, meaning they will likely only be getting four days a month with their children IF a Judge does not allow the custodial parent to move many states away. We believe this is much more of a spark for Domestic Violence than anything. Another spark? Perhaps Governor Pat McCrory has never been through a custody battle, but they are expensive and parents fight an average of two over 18 years. When fighting a custody battle, it cost EACH PARENT roughly $15,000 for a total of $30,000 times two over 18 years for GRAND total of $60,000. This assumes that neither of the parents fight minor battles over child support, contempt hearing, and modifications as those can easily add another $20,000 to the GRAND total. So which would the Governor of NC rather see $80,000 go towards, lawyers and anxiety riddled children or a college education, down payment on a home, money to start a business, or life saving medical coverage? Governor, is it possible this financial stress sparks increased Domestic Violence?

Lets take a look at the issue of Domestic Violence closer Governor McCrory, it’s OK that non-custodial fathers get four days a month with their children because it is some mysterious magical number that prevents men from killing their ex-wives and children, but if we give them fifteen days per month then something happens and suddenly there is mass killings? Really? One would think that these fathers would be so elated to be seeing their children and directly supporting them (empowerment) (equality) that Domestic Violence would be the last thing on their minds.

In the opening segments of this video, you see Governor Pat McCrory visiting schools talking with kids and educators, yet I bet he never asked where the non-custodial parents were. If he did, he would likely be told that their non-custodial parent is absent and disinterested. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Many of the school children in this video have had a Judge allow the custodial parent to move these children many states away from their other parent. Many of these kids fathers don’t even know they have children because there is no law requiring a mother to tell a father than he is a father. Many of these kids fathers are in jail because they can’t pay child support due to the economy or because they got hit with child support arrears for 10 years because they were never told they had kids. Many of these kids fathers are working two jobs and don’t have access to food stamps, medicaid, educational assistance, housing assistance, work assistance, and financial assistance like custodial parents do. Many of these kids fathers are putative fathers that by NC law have zero rights to their biological child because they weren’t married to the child’s mother.

In the video below, you see Governor McCrory talking with various groups about issues important to them, but noticeably non-custodial parents weren’t invited.

Unfortunately, there are many special interest groups and organizations who have come together in North Carolina who use gender and sexual politics to drive fund raising efforts and who get federal and state grants and money to drive parental warfare, and they will say and do anything to drive this agenda if it means political power. NC Fathers is asking NC Republican Governor Pat McCrory to rise above this and do what is in the best interest of children and real equality.

Governor Pat McCrory and NC Republicans and Democrats Must Hear From NC’s estimated 5.5 Million Citizens Who Have Ties To a Non-Custodial Family.

Earlier in this article, we pointed out the numbers of non-custodial families than exists in North Carolina, and the amount of their friends who witness what we experience within the family courts. We also pointed out that non-custodial families are a natural swing voter block given that we come from every major diverse background. And, that the courts create on average 100 more families per week in the NC District Courts. Can you imagine what can be accomplished if we all come together and send the message to Governor McCrory that we demand changes? Can you imagine what will happen if this article is shared 5.5 million times on social networks like Twitter and Facebook? Can you imagine a system where the anxiety, depression, and turmoil can be lessened after a divorce knowing that you will still be a vital part of your children’s lives that does not consist of just payment provider via a federal enforcement agency? Can you imagine a system where lawmakers create a law demanding shared parenting but do not address judicial discretion that allow Judges in NC to continue the century old bias? Can you imagine a system where the other parent moved your children 700 miles away one day while you were at work and never saw your children again unless you found $15,000 in cash to give to a lawyer? Well this system can be realized, but not until Governor McCrory hears your concerns, and not until there is a substantial organization that opposes the organizations who have an open door in Raleigh and who want you to remain marginalized in your kids lives at their profit.

In an effort to help send our message to Governor Pat McCrory that Equally Shared Parenting is the best option and interest for NC Children, we ask that you use the following graphic on all your social media profiles to show support:

Here is what we are asking NC non-custodial families to do. First, Governor Pat McCrory must hear from you, and he must read this article. Please CONTACT HIM and ask him and his staff to read this article and respond to you. If you prefer to call the Governor, he can be reached at (919) 733-5811. Second, extensively share this article on social networking sites. Third, use the comment section below to leave the Governor your personalized message regarding the NC Family Courts. This is your chance to collectively create a substantial document that his staff can not ignore. Fourth, identify five other NC non-custodial families in your family, or friends, and invite them to our organization as well as sharing this article with them. And lastly, repeat all of this monthly.

Governor Pat McCrory can be reached on Twitter @PatMcCroryNC or FACEBOOK.

NC Fathers welcomes any personalized non-form letter or pre-written response from NC Governor Pat McCrory on the material we covered in this article and will be happy to include it in this document and share with our growing social media presence and 5,000+ mailing list.

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Please Ask <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/01/20/governor-pat-mccrory-and-the-nc-family-courts">Governor Pat McCrory</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform.

  

William Conboy is a former Albany County NY Prosecutor and current lawyers who’s wife accused him of Domestic Violence that was later found to be a false allegation. How do we know that it was a false allegation, because Mr. Conboy had the forethought to tape his wife using his cell phone to capture the moment she made the chilling accusation. The video below by many will be called a very rare event, but we hear from men and fathers daily who see this daily, and who have proven their cases in a court of law but still lost in their personal lives because it is impossible to live down these allegations once they are levied. In New York and all States in this country, what you are about to see is very much reality and common for men facing divorce and child custody hearing for which they are routinely found guilty, many times even when they have evidence showing otherwise. We suspect that William Conboy was able to escape this because he is a lawyer and had friends in the system that looked out for him.

As a organization that typically advocates for non-custodial families, which if William and Kelly Conboy had children, Mr. Conboy would now be if he had not captured this false allegation, we have ZERO sympathy for him. Actually, we have complete disgust for William Conboy and in some twisted wish that he had never captured this audio and found himself removed from his home, losing his law license, kids, reputation, belongings, and whatever else he owned.

Why?

Because as a former Albany County NY Prosecutor and lawyer, there is no doubt that William Conboy prosecuted thousands of men for Domestic Violence for which there was no evidence or witnesses, and statistics show that it is likely he won those cases. Here is the problem as the video suggests, Domestic Violence in New York and all other states is prosecuted under preponderance of the evidence rather than innocent until proven guilty. This means that all that needs to happy is a prosecutor and Judge needs to find just 50.01% LIKELIHOOD that violence occurred and there is a conviction even if there is no evidence of abuse or witnesses. And, when false allegations are realized, there is no prosecution. So, why not make these false allegations if in doing so one can gain so much in divorce and child custody hearings?

As a lawyer, William Conboy knows this, and he is likely responsible for thousands of fathers and men in Albany County NY losing everything they have because of this law, and he did nothing to change these laws.

Now, the minute that we see William Conboy lobbying the NY legislature for changes in how Domestic Violence false allegations can be used as tactical weapons by women who have learned how easy it is to do this, then we will applaud him. But, don’t hold your breath.

William Conboy Should Start An Albany County NY  Non-Profit Fighting False Allegations Of Domestic Violence

Now that William Conboy has been cleared by an Albany County NY Court of Domestic Violence, NC Fathers would like to see him join S.A.V.E Services which is an organization trying to reform Domestic Violence laws and establish evidence based prosecution for the serious crime of Domestic Violence. If Mr. Conboy does not want to go that route, then we would like to see him start a non-profit in New York that advocates for those accused of false allegations and work with the New York legislature to end what is clearly an easy thing for women to do to a man. Heck, even the news reporter made the connection in the video when stating that William Conboy had to prove a negative that he did not commit this crime instead of being seen as innocent until his wife proved otherwise.

This is a wake-up call for Men and Fathers in Albany County NY. No, I digress, this is a wake-up call for men and women in their families who lose access to their step-children, grandchildren, and nieces and nephews because prosecutors are more interested in obtaining a conviction for as father instead of getting to proven truth. Be very sure of this, many women in NY lose access to their loved ones because of relation to a father which is very likely to have a false allegation of Domestic Violence brought against him if his wife ever decides to leave a marriage and there are children involved.

NC Fathers encourages Betty Troublefield of Wagram NC and Scotland County to refrain from coming on the NC Fathers website and excoriating and denigrating the father of her child. Also, Ms. Troublefield might want to look at her custody order to see if her social media blitz of slandering her child’s father is breaking said order.

Before discussing NC Putative Fathers as it relates to Adoption and Child Custody cases in the family courts, we have to inform you that NC Fathers IS NOT A LAW FIRM and nothing in this article should be taken as legal advice. If you have questions about laws as it relates to putative fathers, adoptions, or child custody then you must contact a lawyer. NC Fathers is an organization of NC non-custodial parents, their families, putative fathers and their families who have witnessed very destructive laws and patterns in the family courts that have for decades alienated and marginalized non-custodial fathers and putative fathers from their biological children. OUR GOALS are to build a large organization of these families who we use to put pressure on politicians and others to end this destructive process. If you identify with this article, then we ask that you join us on FACEBOOK and join our MAILING LIST to help be a part of this process. We also ask that you invite your immediate family and share this article on Putative Fathers with others on the major social networking sites like Google+, Twitter, and Facebook. In NC, a putative father is a father of a child where he is not married to the mother and there are very dire problems that these fathers must overcome if they wish to be in their child(ren)’s life. In cases where the mother is married and she is pregnant by a putative father, then the man she is married to is considered the legal father.

Posts related to NC Putative Fathers, Adoptions, and Child Custody - NC Adoption Laws

If you are a NC non-custodial family member or a putative father family, then we ask that you click on the red and blue graphic below to get educated on the many problems we have identified in the family courts that need to be addressed by politicians in NC.

NC Putative Fathers and Adoptions

As a putative father, if you help conceive a child that is born out of wedlock, then you have zero legal rights to the child unless you go through the legal process of legitimation. This process is very straight forward IF the mother of the child does not contest the action. If you are present at the time of the birth, then most hospitals in NC will present you and the mother with what is called an Affidavit of Parentage that if signed and witnessed by hospital personnel gives some weight in legitimation. Many lawyers we have spoken to say that it is very much a binding document, put the mother can rescind this document within a certain time period. This is why it is best to hire an attorney long before the child is born and start a hearing on legitimation and here is why. We have many examples of fathers in our organization who were putative fathers and had their child adopted out by the mother before they could get their day in court. Once the child is adopted out, it is unlikely that you will ever see the child again. Of course, this assumes that the mother even told the father that he had a child to legitimate in the first place. We also have several fathers within our organization who learned that they had biological children adopted out years after the fact and in all of these cases these fathers would have wanted to legitimate these kids and be active fathers. In NC, there is very strict and dangerous laws that says when a mother is not married, she does NOT have to identify the father or give any information about said father to adoptive parents or agencies. To us, this is a very sick process. If you are a putative father in North Carolina and you wish to be an active father and seize upon your legal rights to the child, TIME IS VERY MUCH OF THE ESSENCE.

Again, if the mother of the child does not contest legitimation, then the process is very easy. If she does contest legitimation, then the courts will order a DNA test to prove you are the biological father and if you are, then you can start the process of legitimation and securing legal rights. But notice we didn’t say anything about physical rights for which we will discuss below.

NC Putative Fathers and Child Custody in the Family Courts

As a father in NC, you know that the NC family courts have been historically anti-father, and this statement is further compounded if you are a putative father. While it is very rare for a father to get physical custody of his child in North Carolina unless the mother is proven to be a danger to the child, it is even more rare for a putative father to get physical custody of his child. Some issues that will help you out in this matter is to show that you are prepared to help support the mother while she is pregnant and most certainly the child after he/she is born until you can get a custody hearing. Additionally, the default visitation order for legal fathers in North Carolina is 4 days a month, but for some reason putative fathers who legitimate their children do not even get this amount of time with their children. We aren’t sure what factors are involved with this decision making, but we think that it has a lot to do with Judges feeling like the putative father was just having sex with the mother and never really intended on being with her in a relationship or fathering a child, and that this will cause problems down the road in forcing these two parents to have to meet for visitation on a regular basis. Of course, nobody ever asks why the mother helped create this very problematic issue, and she is generally given a lot of rights without much responsibility while the putative father is given a lot of responsibility with very little rights.

As of the 2010 Census, it was shown that 40% of children born in the United States were conceived by unmarried parents who were still unmarried to each other at the time of the birth. This has opened the door for a very large percentage of children being adopted out without the biological father having any say so in the matter, especially when there is no law in North Carolina holding mothers accountable for not knowing who the father of their child is and identifying him.

If you read this article as a putative father in NC, or a member of the family who has been through this situation, then we again ask that you join our organization’s MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to help be a part of our mission to reform the family courts.

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Before discussing NC Paternity Fraud, it is important to note that NC Fathers is NOT a law firm, nor are we attorneys. If you need to discuss paternity issues with a lawyer, we suggest that you contact a NC lawyer. This article is for educational purposes ONLY. Paternity Fraud in North Carolina can happen several ways 1) A mother can attempt to name a father who is not the biological father, or 2) A woman can refuse to tell a biological father that she is pregnant, and of course 3) A woman can do both. We typically see paternity fraud when a woman who is married and has an affair, allows her husband to believe that the child is his, but we do see examples daily where a woman will just simply name someone that she prefers to be the father hoping that he will go along with it and never question it. What is VERY important to note is that NC legislators REFUSE to address this issue and is fine with this type of behavior. In our minds, paternity fraud should be a crime because it can have profound consequences for NC Fathers and their families when they discover that either they were named incorrectly  in a paternity suit and had to pay money out to a lawyer to find out the truth, or when these fathers are happy and excited to be a father and learn that they really aren’t. We know of fathers who bonded, fell in love with, and supported children they thought were there for 18 years and learned later that they were not. Additionally, we know of fathers who payed child support for many years and later found out they fraud had been committed on them but because they acknowledged the child they were on the hook for child support anyway. Furthermore, we see a tremendous amount of paternity fraud in NC around adoption cases where a woman will never tell a potential father about a pregnancy and have the child adopted out when the putative father wanted to raise the child.

Posts related to Paternity Fraud in North Carolina – OUR MAILING LIST, OUR FACEBOOK PAGE.

If you are a member of a NC non-custodial family, or have experienced paternity fraud in the past then we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below to view a list of issues we have identified as being serious issues that NC legislators need to address with regards to family law and adoption in North Carolina.

Paternity Fraud in North Carolina: Why It Happens

We believe that paternity fraud in North Carolina is rampant because Judges and Politicians allow it to happen and never provide any consequences when it is discovered. But there is another thought, there is very much a need for SOMEONE to be paying child support because we have been socialized to think that fathers can only be good when they are supporting their children and nobody ever thinks about dads supporting their children directly via equal parentage and access to their children. The State of North Carolina has a serious problem with women showing up at social services wanting housing, financial, educational, food, medical, and job assistance because they have children, and they have no way to meet this need through their budgets. We know that for every dollar collected in child support via enforcement, the State of NC then gets back an equal match of federal money for collecting this money and it is used to replenish social services funds. We have always said that it is this system which is keeping NC Fathers from being equal fathers because if they were, they wouldn’t be paying child support and the State of NC would not be getting federal money for women and children.

So, with that said, the State needs someone, ANYONE, to be identified as the father so that they can summarily be denied equal access to their children, pushed to the margins of this child’s life as a visitor, and paying child support so that the State can get federal money. In NC there is a law that says if a women is married and she has a child, that father is AUTOMATICALLY identified as the legal father and is responsible for the child even if the child is NOT his and the biological father either does not legitimate the child, the marital father does not address the issue, or the mother does not legitimate the child. We believe there are tens of thousands of men in NC who have children they think are theirs and they are not. They are simply unsuspecting victims of paternity fraud and nobody seems to care.

So much for the idea that Mothers are natural and protective mothers because not knowing who your child’s father is, or wanting to find out, can have serious implications for the child. For example, what happens if Mary if married to John and Mary has an affair with Paul who has some serious disorder that is passed genetically to a child and Mary and Paul conceive a child but the world thinks that it is John’s child, there can be very serious issues if Doctors do not have a complete history of the biological parents when dealing with a sick child. The fact that Women, Judges, and Legislators do not address paternity fraud in North Carolina based JUST on this one issue is sick to us. It’s disturbing and very sick.

NC Paternity Fraud: Making It Stop

The NC Family Court process is simply out of control and it has been for many decades. From Judicial bias, to lawyers making a killing financially via parents fighting, to complete families (non-custodial) being alienated and marginalized in their kids life so that others can play gender and sexual politics for re-election, the system is a complete failure. But the only way for this system to stop this abuse is when families who get hurt in this system stop it via organizing around an organization that advocates for them and politicians realize that united they can have impacts on elections. Since children are ultimately the ones that get hurt in this process, they have no say in this process. But non-custodial parents, their spouses, and families do very much get hurt in this process and they are often very aware of how paternity fraud in NC is used as a manipulation game and weapon against fathers by malicious mothers who have an ultimate goal of winning custody and control of her child. If you identify with this article, or you have experienced paternity fraud directly, we hope that you will join our organization using the links above and consider sharing this article on the social networking sites like Facebook, Linkedin, Google+, and Twitter so that others in paternal families can learn more about this very serious and overlooked problem.

NC Fathers hears from a lot of military Men at Fort Bragg, Camp Lejeune, Pope Air Force Base, and Cherry Point who tell us there is a greater than average number of women who target military men in an effort to claim they are the fathers of their children in which DNA proved otherwise. If you are in the Marine Corp, Army, Navy, Coast Guard, or Air Force and this happened to you, we would like to hear from you.

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NC Democratic Senator Floyd McKissick Jr is a member of the Senate Judiciary II who is tasked with deciding on new legislation that affects the NC Courts. NC Fathers is an organization of Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members from all political party affiliation, socioeconomic, cultural and racial background, and educational background who have had enough of the biased and divisive family courts and we are calling on Senator McKissick and other Democrats in the Senate to level the playing field, focus on equality, and bring equally shared parenting to North Carolina. If you identify with this article, we ask that you review our organization’s goals, join our mailing list, and collaborate with us on Facebook in an effort to get this message into the hands of as many Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial families as possible. Additionally, we ask that you share this article on Senator Floyd McKissick Jr with other families and parents on sites like Google+, Linkedin, Twitter, and Facebook to bring about greater awareness. As an attorney in North Carolina, we believe that Senator McKissick knows quite well how the family courts work, and we are also sure that he understands the enormous amount of money that is being made when two parents fight for 18 years and pay retainers which would end under equally shared parenting because there is nothing to fight about. While this scenario may be advantageous to lawyers in North Carolina, it is not to voters and children in Durham and Granville County NC who get extensively hurt when their parents and extended families are divided and fighting to win the coveted prize of custody and control.

Posts related to Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Senate Democrats in Durham and Granville County NC – Representative Larry Hall, Durham County Department of Social Services, Judge Doretta Walker

In the video below, Senator McKissick Jr shows that he has motives to protect NC youth, but will he go the extra mile to make sure that they also have both parents and extended families in a position to help these children?

If you are in a Durham or Granville County NC non-custodial family, be it a father, step-mother, grandparent, or aunt/uncle, you already know how difficult it is to watch as the courts value you more for how much you are alienated from your children and paying child support via a federal enforcement agency like you are some criminal, instead of how much time you are directly with your children supporting, nurturing, and loving them. However, other people and families may not understand the system for which we are about to expound upon. We ask that you click on the red and blue graphic below to reveal a rather long list of problems we have identified and which we are asking Senator Floyd McKissick Jr to respond to.

Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Durham / Granville County NC Non-Custodial Family Voters

NC Fathers is asking Senator McKissick to explain why two parents, when fighting a custody battle, end up paying around $15,000 per parent for just one battle. Also, given the national statistics, parents fight two of these battles in 18 years for a grand total of $60,000. When you take into account minor family law battles in the Durham and Granville County NC family Courts for child support, contempt, and other matters, you easily have parents spending $75,000+ over the life of the minor child(ren). Our question to the Senator is, would he rather see this money in the hands of lawyers, or this money used to things like a college education, to start a business, for medical expenses, or a down payment on a home?

As an attorney in Durham and Granville County NC, Senator Floyd McKissick Jr must understand one of the most unfortunate problems with the family courts that has severe consequences for NC voters. Without a doubt, the single most disturbing fact about family law in Durham County NC  is that there is a HUGE incentive to alienate a child from another parent. Here is how it happens: One parent decides to leave a marriage/relationship and makes plans while the other parent has no idea. The parent leaving the marriage/relationship contacted an attorney who told them as long as there is no order in place, he/she does not have to allow the other parent to see the child. That parent then leaves the marriage or relationship, likely moves out of state, forcing the other parent to find the other parent, get $7,000 (to start) to retain an attorney, and start the process. For those that CANNOT find this money, they never see their child again or signs an agreement that is not in their/child best interest just to see the child again. Unfortunately, this makes that parent LOOK like a disinterested parent because they signed an agreement assuming the role of marginalized parent. For those that can get access to money, by the time they get their ducks lined up, the alienating parent has established consistency which is a huge part of what Judges use in their decision making process. Judges routinely never look at how consistency was established because they just want to move through the other 30 cases and get home at a reasonable hour. This “pay wall” between parents and children is highly destructive and often times results in domestic violence and/or murder/suicide. NC Legislators like Senator McKissick and Senate Democrats really need to hear this scenario from you because it is happening on a very frequent basis daily in the Granville County NC courts.

Furthermore, we are asking Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and other Durham and Granville County Democrats to not buy into the politics of this message. This movement is not a Democrat vs Republican battle, Women’s Rights vs. Father’s Rights, or Male vs. Female. There are Women in non-custodial families that equal the same amount of Men being affected by this (grandmothers, aunts, daughters, step-mothers) issue. Additionally, Non-Custodial Families come from every political party affiliation, cultural and racial background, and socioeconomic background. This message is about children and their ability to be loved, supported, and nurtured by both parents and their extended families that no government agency in Durham County NC can ever deliver.

We realize Senator McKissick and other Democrats in the NC General Assembly will immediately deflect from this message out point out the numbers on Granville County NC fathers who are purposefully absent from their children’s lives as a reason to not bring reform, but this is disingenuous. This message is about non-custodial fathers who are active, who do want to support their children directly, who do visit, and who are wanting to be with their kids physically and are being denied this opportunity at the rate of seven per day per county. This is a lot of voters Senators, and it is a lot of African-American fathers, grandparents, and step-parents.

Democratic Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Durham / Granville County NC Social Services and Adoption Issues

As a legislator in North Carolina, Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and other Senate Democrats fully understand the relationship between child support enforcement’s mission to collect child support and federal Title IV-D money the State receives in collecting this money. If not, then we will explain here. Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, when the Durham County NC child support enforcement agency collects $800 in child support, the county gets back roughly $689 from the federal government to be used to replenish social services money. The thinking here is that custodial mothers rely on social services programs when dads are absent. And, of course we support this idea. However, our problem is that we believe the State of NC is making ALL fathers absent via the family courts whether they want to be our not in an effort to maximize this money. Also, it is important to remember that parents paying child support where the other parent IS NOT receiving social services benefits are triggering this federal money too.

Senator McKissick, this seems like the State of NC legislators have found a way to monetize absent parents and then decided to just make one parent always absent via the family courts with an eye on helping with your budget woes in funding social services.

Here is Senator McKissick Jr thanking NC military personnel for their service, but is he aware that military fathers have an even greater hurdle to clear in having an equal relationship as possible with his children while serving in the armed forces because of family courts who deny him this right because of his service?

Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Senate Democrats in Durham and Granville County NC need to end the “putative father” loophole that allows mothers who are planning to adopt a child out, to not notify a biological father and give him the opportunity to raise the child. Our organization hears from fathers who learned about this long after it happened, and it is happening at a frequent rate now that 40% of children born in the US are coming from unmarried parents. Again, we realize that attorneys in North Carolina who do adoptions love this idea, but it is about as immoral and wrong as anything we can think of.

If you are a Durham or Granville County NC Democrat or Republican voter from a non-custodial family, you likely identified with this article. If you are Hispanic, Caucasian, Asian, or African-American, you probably identified with this article if you are in a non-custodial family. Additionally, if you are educated or not, and you are from a non-custodial family, you identified with this article.

If so, then we are asking that you strongly consider joining our Mailing List and Facebook page to help us build a massive organization of Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial parents who can have daily talks with Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Senate Democrats about the issues discussed in this article.

Be sure to use the social sharing buttons to helping propagate this article on social networking sites!

On May 4, 2013 NC Fathers sent this blog to Senator McKissick and in the section below, we will provide his message to our 1900 daily readers if he decides to comment.

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Please Ask <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/nc-senator-floyd-mckissick-jr-durham-and-granville-county-democrat">Senator Floyd McKissick Jr</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform.

NC Fathers is seeking Guest Bloggers who have an above average knowledge of Child Support and Enforcement, Child Custody, Social Services, and Family Law Reform related issues as it pertains to non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members who advocate for equally shared parenting. Why guest blog for our organization? We currently have a daily readership of over 1900+ unique visitors per day and have amassed at 5,000+ mailing list of NC non-custodial families that are seeking relief in the very biased NC Family Courts for the presumption of equally shared parent without judicial discretion. Additionally, we have been able to gain a significant page rank for our website and if articles are written well, then it is likely good search engine placement will be assured. If you are interested in becoming a guest blogger for our organization, then we most certainly would love to hear from you and you are encouraged to use THIS CONTACT FORM to get in touch with us.

Criteria for Guest Bloggers at NC Fathers:

• Articles must be 800 words or more.
• All articles must be related to reform of family law, child support and enforcement, child custody, social services abuses, shared parenting, domestic violence reform for gender neutral and evidence based laws, training, or education, and non-custodial parent and family issues.
• You must have an average to above average understanding of search engine optimization and social media marketing.
• As a Guest Blogger, you must provide all non-copyrighted graphics and other media for your articles.
• As a Guest Blogger, all articles submitted must be original content that is not published elsewhere on the global Internet (We will check).
• Bloggers must have an above average knowledge of grammar and spelling.
• All guest blog material will not contain harassment, defamation, or slander of another person and must be written with education and activism in mind.

Guest Blogging Opportunities For Non-Custodial Parent and Family Networking

Like NC Fathers, there are very aggressive and professional organizations across the United States who are advocating for shared parenting, and for the ability of non-custodial parents to be valued more for the direct impact, access, and parentage they have with their children as opposed to payer of child support to a big government enforcement agency. As a guest blogger for NC Fathers, you can use our heavily trafficked site and status to get information out in your State if you are not prepared or knowledgeable about putting up a website. Additionally, guest blogging is a great way to grow your reach for your organization.

Furthermore, if you are seriously interested in guest blogging on the issues we have outlined and feel that you do not meet all the criteria above but still have a very good grasp on the issues, then we are willing to help you and make suggestions on your articles so that they meet our publication criteria.

To learn more, simply contact us and be sure to share this page on the popular social networking sites so that others who may want to contribute as guest bloggers can learn more about this exciting movement. We also welcome any comments below.

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Miller Bowles is a law firm in Charlotte NC that bills itself as a full service family law firm specializing in child custody, child support, domestic violence, and divorce. Recently, Miller Bowles published a press release aimed at defeating Senate Bill 610 which is a shared parenting bill within the NC General Assembly. According to their website, the lawyers that make up the Miller Bowles law firm are Kate Bowles Miller, Christopher Miller, Valerie Gefert, and Jennifer Paternostro. This article serves as a rebuttal to Miller Bowles argument and it is meant to get the attention of Charlotte NC and Mecklenburg County non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and other families (potential future clients) who by all accounts represents a very large number of voters in Charlotte who have been pushed to the margins of their children’s lives as visitors and payment providers rather than families who are valued for their equal and direct parentage of their minor loved ones after a divorce or relationship breakdown. If you are reading this article as a Charlotte NC non-custodial family, NC Fathers would like to invite you to get active within our organization either by joining our FACEBOOK PAGE or MAILING LIST so that we can build a massive organization of NC non-custodial families who demand equal parentage and access to their children. You can also view OUR GOALS HERE.

Posts related to the Miller Bowles Law Firm in Charlotte NC – NC Domestic Violence Coalition, NC Lawyers and Child Custody, NC Adoption Crisis

Before we get into the arguments made by the Miller Bowles Law firm regarding Shared Parenting in North Carolina, we invite Charlotte NC non-custodial families to click on the red and blue graphic below to get a reminder of issues NC Judges, Lawyers, and Legislators ask you to deal with on a daily basis and remember these issues when this law firm uses “high conflict” as a reason that shared parenting should not exists in NC. Simply put, the NC Family Courts create FAR greater conflict between parents over 18 years and it is done to keep parents fighting and making lawyers very rich by paying them large retainers every few years trying to gain equality in a system that is built around inequality.

Official Rebuttal Arguments To The Miller Bowles Law Firm in Charlotte NC On Shared Parenting and Senate Bill 610

Before beginning this section, we must state that we agree with Kate Bowles Miller and Christopher Miller on one issue, and that is that Senate Bill 610 is a bad idea. And, it is a bad idea because even if the NC Legislature passes this bill, Judges in North Carolina still have discretion to continue the historical bias and divisiveness in the family courts. Until Judges are stripped of their discretion to alienate and marginalize one parent and extended family from their children there will never be true shared parenting in North Carolina.

In their press release, the Miller Bowles Law Firm stated “In making that determination, the Court must consider all relevant factors, such as acts of domestic violence and the safety of the child.”

The immediate problem with this statement is that while it looks and sounds good, and has the “do it for the children” argument attached to it, the reality is we have examples of custodial parents in the new that are being arrested for domestic violence and who find themselves in DSS court on child abuse, neglect, and dependency. Miller Bowles appears to make the argument that custodial parents are good, and non-custodial parents are bad, and this just is not the case. The reality is, both custodial parents and non-custodial parents are perpetrators of domestic violence and abuse on children. Our belief is that when parents find themselves in situations that lead to domestic violence or abuse of a child, we should do everything possible and provide an avenue for these parents to rehabilitate and then get them back into their child(ren)’s lives as equal parents. Under our current system, there seems to be advocacy for “one mishap, and your out of your child’s life forever.”

Another argument from this law firm – “Based on the evidence presented, the Judge may make an award for child custody as he or she sees fit, as long that award promotes the best interest of the child.”

Unfortunately, Judges in NC are locking themselves daily into a standardized visitation schedule for non-custodial families. The argument above makes it look like Judges are deciding visitation schedules based on individual merits of each case, but that is simply not true. How many of you have the standard visitation schedule of every other weekend? And, as a Charlotte NC family, do you think it’s in the best interest of your child to see your children moved six states away and see them maybe once a year?

Bowles Miller went on to state – “Family law attorneys throughout North Carolina have had strong reactions to Senate Bill 610 and the policies stated therein. According to the attorneys at Miller Bowles Law, while the Bill promotes noble goals, such as uniformity and shared custody, those goals are thought to be lofty and potentially unachievable.”

Some examples that the lawyers at this firm allude to are 1) encourages “both parents to share equitably in the rights and responsibilities of raising their child” even after the marriage or relationship ends. 2) To encourage this policy, the Bill proposes promoting certain ideals, programs, laws, and court practices that encourage and support the maximum participation of a child in the parents’ lives. 3) This presumed shared responsibility standard requires that each parent have as close as possible to an equal amount of time with the child, but not less than thirty-five percent of the amount of time with the child. 4) the proposed State policy also encourages “parents to take responsibility for their child by setting the expectation that parenthood will be a significant and ongoing responsibility requiring the creation of a joint parenting agreement.

The best rebuttal we can think of to this assertion is, how do these lawyers know that these lofty goals can not be achieved? Do they have some empirical evidence from other States that this does not work? Here is the problem for the Miller Bowles law firm, nobody knows for sure that shared parenting does or does not work because it has never been put into practice. Of course, there is ample research that Lawyers and Judges get educated on during retreats that suggest that it does not work, but we surmise that only researchers that advocate against shared parenting get invited to these educational sessions. We would sure like to see Kate Bowles Miller and Christopher Miller’s UNBIASED research on shared parenting and why it does not work.

Miller Bowles went on to state again – “First, every child custody case is unique and distinguishable from another; therefore, uniformity is not a realistic expectation.”

Every time we see this argument, we have to laugh. If you do some consistent research on shared parenting and the American Bar Association’s response to it, you will see lawyers using this exact phrase in almost every article they write. It has clearly been scripted, taught, and is being regurgitated by lawyers who say that uniformity is a bad idea. The problem they have is that what is uniform is the large amount of data coming out that shows every child benefits greatly when they have two very active parents and their extended families at their side nurturing, loving, and supporting them directly. So, we disagree that every case is different. In a large majority of these cases, there is a child who needs and loves both of their parents, grandparents, step-parents, and aunts and uncles. This nurturing, support, and direct love cannot happen from six states away, and it cannot happen 4 days a month.

The lawyers at Miller Bowles stated – “while it is the hope of all involved that the parties will be able to communicate effectively and compromise with regard to the custody of their child, often times that is not the case. Therefore, expecting the parties to create a joint parenting agreement is unrealistic in light of the often contentious nature of child custody disputes.”

If you are a Charlotte or Mecklenburg County NC non-custodial parent, you are well aware that the family courts actually created more conflict than either you or your ex-spouse could ever dream up. Unfortunately, the Charlotte family courts actually encourages conflict because it is setup on a “one parent win, one parent lose” system by which both parents NEED the other parent to be a horrible person so that he/she can get custody and control. There is conflict because these parents are in an arena where only one parent can come out victorious. The minute Judges in NC start deciding custody or shared parenting on how well one parent gets along with the other parent, you will see a LOT of parents busting their tails to get along with the other parent which is good for kids. In short, when there is nothing to fight about, nothing to win or lose, parents will have no reason to fight and there will not be nearly as much conflict.

Lastly, the lawyers at Miller Bowles stated – “While family law attorneys are always striving to ensure the best interest of the child.”

Bull!

Most Family Law attorneys are vested financially in a unequal system by which parents fight like gladiators to keep/lose custody for 18 years and paying lawyers retainer fees. The love the conflict, because it pays the bills. As a Charlotte NC non-custodial family, how much did your child custody battle cost? $10,000? $20,000? And how much did the other parent pay? I suspect about the same. We estimate that parents (from just ONE family) spend on average $80,000 over the life of a minor child in custody, child support, and contempt hearings. With Shared Parenting, and strict words from Judges to either get along and work on a parenting agreement, parents are going to get it together quick and not spending this money with lawyers.

Now, lets talk about “Fit Parents” and Domestic Violence. In their press release, Miller Bowles stated that Senate Bill 610 has the potential to bring conflicted parents together more often and this will lead to more domestic violence.

“…the Bill’s proposed State policy purports to “[e]nsure that a child will have maximum contact with both parents through a presumption of shared responsibility unless it has been established based on a preponderance of the evidence that one of the parents is unfit or obstructs a healthy relationship with the other parent.”

Here is a video that clearly explains preponderance of the evidence in very clear terms. While this video is about medical malpractice, the same standard is applied in Domestic Violence and it clearly shows that absent evidence or witnesses, one can be found guilty simply on “likelihood” that violence existed. This is why just about every divorce and child custody case today involves an allegation of abuse because the burden of proof is so low, it’s almost a given that a Judge will find fault. From this fault, again, with no evidence or witnesses, just the mere word of the accuser who gains big time from the allegation, you can be removed from your home, belongings, kids, lose your job, loss of reputation, and could very well never see your children again. Sounds like serious conflict to us that Miller Bowles is not explaining. And of course, many Judges and Lawyers sit on Domestic Violence organizations boards that continue to get significant money with increased statistics on Domestic Violence. With preponderance of the evidence, it is assured that statistics will continue to rise, thus triggering federal and state money into non-profits.

We would like for Christopher Miller and Kate Bowles Miller to explain how pushing one parent to the far margins of their children’s lives after spending $20,000 with an attorney, seeing their children moved off to another state, or bringing contempt motions over and over regarding visitations orders not being followed, only to have a Judge roll his/her eyes,  is not creating more Domestic Violence?

I imagine once a Divorce or Separation is realized, both parents take on a LOT of anxiety, fear, and depression knowing one of them will not be an equal parent anymore and who will likely not have a say so in how their kids are raised and will essentially become a visitor. We suspect that this then leads to substance abuse and other unhealthy coping skills that culminates in Domestic Violence.

With Shared Parenting, those fears, anxious thoughts, and depression can substantially be lowered. And, I can assure you, if a parent knows that he/she is going to be seeing their children 10-15 days per month after divorce, the last thing on their mind is Domestic Violence.

Miller Bowles Law Firm and Charlotte NC Non-Custodial Families

Another thing the lawyers at Miller Bowles did not comment on is what we call the family court pay wall. Without a doubt, the single most disturbing fact about family law is that there is a HUGE incentive to alienate a child from another parent. Here is how it happens: One parent decides to leave a marriage/relationship and makes plans while the other parent has no idea. The parent leaving the marriage/relationship contacted an attorney who told them as long as there is no order in place, he/she does not have to allow the other parent to see the child. That parent then leaves the marriage or relationship, likely moves out of state, forcing the other parent to find the other parent, get $7,000 (to start) to retain an attorney, and start the process. For those that CANNOT find this money, they never see their child again or signs an agreement that is not in their/child best interest just to see the child again. Unfortunately, this makes that parent LOOK like a disinterested parent because they signed an agreement assuming the role of marginalized parent. For those that can get access to money, by the time they get their ducks lined up, the alienating parent has established consistency which is a huge part of what Judges use in their decision making process. Judges routinely never look at how consistency was established because they just want to move through the other 30 cases and get home at a reasonable hour. This “pay wall” between parents and children is highly destructive and often times results in domestic violence and/or murder/suicide. NC Legislators, Judges, and Lawyers in Charlotte NC  really need to hear this scenario from you because it is happening on a very frequent basis daily.

NC Fathers wants to remind Charlotte NC non-custodial families that you equal a HUGE voting block of very angry parents and extended families who have been reduced to visitor and federally enforced payment providers to your children while lawyers get rich and Judges and legislators use you to push political agendas.

We also want to remind you that you come from every single racial and cultural background, political party affiliation, socioeconomic background, and educational level. The minute that the estimated 5.5 million citizens with direct ties to a non-custodial family unite around a central organization, you will see legislators, judges, and lawyers advocating for a system that keeps you in this predicament with your children.

Additionally, a figure that the lawyers at the Miller Bowles Law Firm can not dispute, non-custodial parents are created almost hourly in the family courts in all 100 counties and we are determined to reach them and unite you so that you can advocate for yourself collectively.

With this information in mind, we again ask that you join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE and begin learning more about how preponderance of the evidence is being used in domestic violence cases to inflate convictions where there was no evidence or witnesses to corroborate violence, but allows a Judge to convict you on “likelihood” rather than innocent until proven guilty. This has lead to MANY of you being non-custodial parents and it has to stop. Furthermore, we need you to realize that the State of NC is generating federal Title IV-D money to replenish social services programs on each dollar collected in child support and how the State NEEDS more and more of you alienated from your children so that you pay greater child support and trigger federal money.

If you identify with this article as a Charlotte NC non-custodial family, we ask that you extensively share this article on sites like Google+, Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin to bring about the greatest exposure. We also ask Charlotte NC non-custodial families to use the comments section below to tell us your experiences with the Miller Bowles Law Firm, or your experiences in the NC Family Courts.

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Before starting our article on Preponderance of the Evidence, Domestic Violence, and Child Custody in the Family Law system, we must inform you that this organization is not a law firm and the writer of this article is not a lawyer. This article should not be taken as legal advise and is for educational purposes only. In this article, we are going to educate you on the relationship to the legal standard of preponderance of the evidence as it relates to domestic violence that is then used in child custody matters within the courts. Additionally, we are going to show how many organizations have found a way to not only monetize the family courts, but also domestic violence and intimate partner abuse. Daily, we get contact from individuals who tell us that they are having a hard time getting increased (or any) visitation with their children because of an allegation of abuse and it’s time that NC non-custodial families learn about the information in this document so that they can protect themselves. Furthermore, I am going to try to make this article as gender neutral as possible because the information herein is used against women sporadically, but it is impossible to overlook the fact that the information contained in this article is primarily affecting fathers and men in North Carolina who are in the family courts, or who have ongoing child custody issues. With that said, anytime an organization who discusses domestic violence and has the word fathers in their organization’s name, it tends to draw a lot of heat from Women’s Rights groups who usually defend themselves by calling us abuse apologist and who want to develop a system by which abuse of women can proliferate.  The reality is, there are a lot of mothers, step-mothers, and sisters of men who experience this daily, and therefore we have to deny that this is a male vs. female issue.

Posts related to Preponderance of the Evidence, Domestic Violence, and Child Custody issues in the courts – NC Adoption Crisis

If you are a NC non-custodial family member, or someone who wants to help us bring family law reform, then you can help us by joining our mailing list and Facebook page where you will have the opportunity to collaborate and learn more about us and our goals. Additionally, you can learn more about why we want to bring family law reform by clicking on the red and blue graphic below.

Preponderance Of The Evidence and Domestic Violence Cases

Most people who enter begin the process of divorce or a child custody battle are not aware that domestic violence cases are NOT prosecuted under the clear and convincing evidence or innocent until proven guilty standards as we have in the criminal courts. Per NC law and federal law (Violence Against Women Act), Domestic Violence is prosecuted under preponderance of the evidence that states a person in North Carolina can be found guilty of violence in domestic situations ABSENT any evidence or witnesses to the fact, and that all a Judge needs to find is 50.01% likelihood that a incident happened. Additionally, it is also important to note that the definition of domestic violence per NC Bar documentation is “Anything that causes another person to feel threatened, or that their life is in imminent harm or death.” Some examples that qualify for domestic violence is a heated argument where both parties yell and scream at each other, or where one party to the argument slams a door. Each day, people in NC go to jail and lose access to their homes and jobs because they have been found guilty of violence where all they did was scream, slam a door, or some other body language that made the other person FEEL threatened. Furthermore, these statistics get sent to Congress and NC Legislators as another violent statistic and many times we feel that these politicians do not realize that these statistics include inappropriate non-violent displays of anger.

It is also important to realize that domestic violence is a very hot button emotional issue that many groups use to fund their organizations or drive political purposes. Every time we hear that someone has been arrested for domestic violence, especially when they are in a child custody battle, we want to emotionally deal with this and assume they hit or beat someone to death when statistically it is likely they did something that another person just felt was violent. An example to help drive this point home is that 30 minutes after 9/11/2001, if anyone in this country were to yell out in public that the two Muslim standing on a corner were terrorist, there would have been an over reaction and response to their demise because of the emotional related to September 11. But with this in mind, because of the laws surrounding domestic violence, all that is needed to bring a violence charge and restraining order is a feeling that your threatened EVEN IF that person making the claim was mutually involved and screaming at the other person and initiated the fight. Under preponderance of the evidence, the case is going to be decided by a Judge even if there is no evidence or witnesses to abuse, and it is likely that this case will be adjudicated as guilty because Judges typically deal with these cases on the “it’s best to be safe than sorry” principle. Although, it is very important to remember that many Judges and Lawyers sit as board members on domestic violence organizations because it looks good politically, and it looks good for that Judge to appear harsh on domestic violence. As more and more convictions are obtained via preponderance of the evidence, the more they can use this issue to propel their re-elections or political aspirations.

Lawyers are another group that loves preponderance of the evidence because the burden of proof is so low, and the definition of abuse is even lower, that it is usually a very easy matter to deal with in the courts and win a case.

Other groups that benefit from this financially are non-profits who get State and Federal money based on statistics. As long as we have domestic violence, we are going to have politicians throwing large amounts of money at this issue which keeps organizations funded, jobs alive, and political aspirations of these organizations going forward. Many people seem shocked when we say this, but organizations like the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence can’t exists without federal and state money, so they actually need the APPEARANCE of violence to be getting worse. I surely won’t say they enjoy knowing women are being beaten so they can use the statistic to get money, but I will say they LOVE the lowered definition of violence and preponderance of the evidence because it means a lot of statistics that they can push as violence.

We suspect our next assertion will ruffle the feathers of many women, but there is most assuredly a anti-male and anti-father component to domestic violence that is being pushed by radical feminist against your sons, your husbands, your brothers, and your fathers. We are not talking about feminist who want equality for all, we are talking about radical feminist who have a very real hatred for men and who see them all as abusers and oppressors. It is these feminist who are in control of Domestic Violence laws in NC, it is them who got preponderance of the evidence thrown in, and it is them who lowered the definition of violence so low that just about anything can be found to be violence.

Domestic Violence and Child Custody Issues

In just about every child custody case these days, there is an obligatory allegation of violence because the accuser knows it puts him/her in good position to win custody. Because our courts are based upon one parent winning, and the other parent losing, after a divorce or breakdown in a relationship where kids exist, both of the parents NEED the other parent to be the most horrible person on the planet so they can win custody and control. Because lawyers know about preponderance of the evidence and the lowered definition of violence, they many times will encourage their client to file this allegation because it will usually stick and be prosecuted successfully. They do this because in any marriage or relationship, parents will have arguments, they will yell, and they will scream, and they will slam doors. It has gotten so bad, if you are going through a divorce in 2013, and there are kids involved, someone will make an allegation of abuse because it is the perfect tactical weapon. The accuser knows that the accused is now labeled and throwing money at a defense for the domestic violence and not focusing on the child custody issue.

In turn, both lawyers for the accuser and accused know that there will be lots of billable hours in this scenario, and that is will likely go on for many many years.

NC Fathers believes that it is unfortunate that child custody cases have devolved to where parents are doing everything possible to win in a custody matter, and we feel that if equally shared parenting was the gold standard and Judges and Lawyers decided fit on how well one parent includes the other parent in everything, we will see a lot less fighting and healthier kids. Unfortunately, this not sit well with the Family Court lawyers, Judges, and Domestic Violence lobby who have all found a way to monetize this process.

It is very likely that is you are a non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, or some other family member, you are the marginalized family because a false allegation of domestic violence was used as a tactical weapon in a child custody matter where preponderance of the evidence was used to convict you, and from there you were removed from your home, belonging, children, and job which started the process of you throwing tons of money at lawyers. Because you were convicted of possibly slamming a door which caused the other parent to feel threatened, you helped the Domestic Violence lobby send another example of why they need more money to stop this process.

NC Fathers encourages comments using the system below, and we especially want to hear from ALL family members in non-custodial families who have faced the information outlined in this article in a child custody matter. We also hope that you will extensively share this article with your family and friends on Google+, Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks.

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Judge Robert Martelle is a newly appointed Judge in the Rutherford and McDowell County NC District Court and was appointed by Governor Pat McCrory after another District Court Judge moved to Superior Court. NC Fathers is an organization of McDowell and Rutherford County non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members who are tired of the highly divisive one parent wins, the other parent loses family courts where the losing parent and family get marginalized to a role of visitor and payment provider instead of as a healthy parent that directly supports their children. You can join our organization by liking us on Facebook or by joining our mailing list after reading our goals. NC Fathers is sending a clear message to Judge Martelle that the best interest of children is not focusing on child support collection from a parent who could not win a court case, but rather developing a system by which both parents are on equal ground so that they and their extended families can directly love and nurture their children which is something no government enforcement agency can ever do. Additionally, we hope that Rutherford and McDowell County NC Non-Custodial families will extensively share this article on Judge Robert Martelle (and other District Court Judges) with friends and family on the popular social networking sites like Google+, Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Posts related to District Court Judge Robert Martelle – NC Domestic Violence, NC Adoption Crisis, Deadbeat Dad Myth

To help send our message to Judge Martelle and other District Court Judges in the district that family court reform is greatly needed, we ask that Rutherford and McDowell County non-custodial families click on the red and blue graphic below to see if you recognize any of the major difficulties that Judges ask you to live with for 18 years? Does the custodial parent have to deal with any of these?

Judge Robert Martelle and Rutherford / McDowell County NC Non-Custodial Families

Non-Custodial families in Rutherford and McDowell County NC represents a large number of voters from all political, socioeconomic, and educational background, not to mention racial and cultural background. One of the reasons that non-custodial families have such a hard time in the family courts is that the system is built around one parent being custodial and having control, access to social services benefits and tax incentives while another parent is marginalized so that they pay into the child support system and triggers federal Title IV-D money that helps replenish money the State of NC needs to keep these programs afloat. NC Fathers, in being a past Social Services attorney, would like to see Judge Robert Martelle contact our site and write an article on the relationship to child support, Title IV-D money, and Welfare so that we can ascertain if the goal of the district and family courts is to keep one parent as far away from their children as possible so that the parent pays greater child support which triggers more and more federal money?

NC Fathers would also ask Judge Robert Martelle is he believes that certain groups have found a way to monetize the family courts and domestic violence issue that now needs a steady stream of male abusers coming into the system so that lawyers can bill, special interest groups can get funding, and everyone use this hot button issue to drive political agendas?

As a former social services lawyer, does Judge Robert Martelle now have any concerns that since social services is dependent on Title IV-D and domestic violence money, is there an open door for abuse on Rutherford and McDowell County NC non-custodial families to remain marginalized so that social services jobs and programs can be funded while remaining service driven to custodial families?

NC Fathers would like for Judge Robert Martelle to explain why custodial parents get ongoing educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, housing assistance, medical assistance, financial assistance, and tax incentives to make ends meet while non-custodial families only have jail as an option and are you supportive of Sheriffs in the counties you serve excoriating non-custodial parents on public and permanent websites as bad people because they have problems with poverty while custodial parents escape this public humiliation because of public assistance?

Is Judge Robert Martelle concerned about the family court pay wall that is keeping hundreds of thousands of NC parents and families from their children? Without a doubt, the single most disturbing fact about family law in Rutherford County NC  is that there is a HUGE incentive to alienate a child from another parent. Here is how it happens: One parent decides to leave a marriage/relationship and makes plans while the other parent has no idea. The parent leaving the marriage/relationship contacted an attorney who told them as long as there is no order in place, he/she does not have to allow the other parent to see the child. That parent then leaves the marriage or relationship, likely moves out of state, forcing the other parent to find the other parent, get $7,000 (to start) to retain an attorney, and start the process. For those that CANNOT find this money, they never see their child again or signs an agreement that is not in their/child best interest just to see the child again. Unfortunately, this makes that parent LOOK like a disinterested parent because they signed an agreement assuming the role of marginalized parent. For those that can get access to money, by the time they get their ducks lined up, the alienating parent has established consistency which is a huge part of what Judges use in their decision making process. Judges routinely never look at how consistency was established because they just want to move through the other 30 cases and get home at a reasonable hour. This “pay wall” between parents and children is highly destructive and often times results in domestic violence and/or murder/suicide. NC Legislators and District Court Judges in McDowell County NC really need to hear this scenario from you because it is happening on a very frequent basis daily.

NC Fathers hopes that you will join our organization and continue to help us build a massive organization of NC non-custodial families who use their collective voices and votes to end the divisive family courts and we hope that Judge Robert Martelle will help be a part of this process and end the system where profits is more important that parents and children.

NC Fathers welcomes any comments below to this article from Rutherford and McDowell County NC non-custodial families and District Court officers.

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Please Ask <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/10/judge-robert-martelle-rutherford-and-mcdowell-county-district-court">Judge Robert Martelle</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform.

Before discussing the question of you not having a job in NC and whether you will still have to still pay child support, we must inform you that our organization is not a law firm and nothing about this article should be taken as legal advise. If you have questions about child support and employment, or job assistance, then we suggest contacting a lawyer in your county and the employment security commission. The short answer to your question is yes, you do still have to pay child support even if you cannot find a job in North Carolina. And, as a non-custodial parent, no you do not have access to the many social services programs to help with food, job assistance, daycare, medical help, and housing like custodial parents receive to make ends meet. If you do not have a job and are ordered to pay child support, your only option is jail if you cannot pay child support. You do have the option to go to court and have your child support re-calculated based upon the fact that you lost your job, but that is very costly. Of course, custodial parents get free child support enforcement lawyers to do their job of making sure that you are paying as much child support as possible whether you have a job or not. If you are one of the lucky ones who can afford to spend $5000 with an attorney to handle your child support matter, then it is POSSIBLE a Judge will re-calculate your child support obligation on the federal minimum wage figure, but that is no guarantee because they have discretion to do anything they want. In short, you will never be ordered to pay NO child support, at the very minimum you will pay child support based on minimum wage even if you have no job or income. And no, you will not be given equal custody and time with your children so that you can offset your child support payment through directly supporting your children. In NC, the name of the game is to socialize non-custodial parents into the role of payment providers and visitors to your children, not equal parents with equal access to their kids and social services help.

If the custodial parent does not have a job, then her child support will also be based on the federal minimum wage figure but it is important to remember that if she has no job, then she is likely getting very significant social services benefits that makes life pretty secure. There is no concern for going to jail, being called deadbeat, or losing her children. On the other side of this coin, this is very much a real possibility for you.

One option you do have if you do have a job and are still having a hard time in paying child support is to get a second job, but with two jobs, it is hard to spend time with you children then isn’t it? By not being able to spend time with your child because of your child support obligation, you will likely then be called a deadbeat parent because you are not seeing them regularly. But then again, your going to be called a deadbeat parent if you can’t pay child support.

It sure would be nice for the court and social services agencies to find a way to equalize the system to where both parents could get help so that they can be the best parents possible who are able to support their children and spend valuable time with them instead of the State of NC making this an option for one parent only.

Not Having A Job And Still Having To Pay Child Support Is A Real Problem For Seasonal Workers And During A Bad Economy

If your community is like where we live in North Carolina, it is largely considered a tourism dependent state especially along our sprawling coast and mountainous regions where very little industry exists. In the winter months and summer months, depending where you live, employers can lay people off for up to 6 months at a time. The problem with then not having a job and having child support payments is that there exists nothing in the enforcement system that takes this into account. The only thing they care about is you paying child support so they can get Title IV-D money and justify their jobs. If you can’t find another job, then you go to jail. It’s that simple. Of course things are not so bleak on the custodial side of this issue. If a custodial parent loses their job, then there is ample and significant social services programs to make sure they stay stable. Another thing that bothers me about this system is that there are agencies who love to gather statistics on non-custodial parents, mostly fathers, who have an interest in making sure dads are cast in the worst light possible. When a dad does not pay child support, or most likely UNABLE to pay child support, it gets tallied in statistics as “men are bad, they WON’T pay child support” that then gets used in public policies to make a very biased family court system.

Another are that gets overlooked in this system is during times where the economy is very bad and many people do not have jobs but are still expected to either maintain multiple jobs and never see their children, or go to jail. Again, custodial parents do not have to worry about this because the system is built around taking care of them.

Are you without a job right now and expected to pay child support? If so, we would like to see you use the comment system below to tell us about your experiences. Additionally, please share this article with others on the many social networking sites for those that may be experiences a loss of a job but is also obligated to pay child support.

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Leading Women For Shared parenting is an organization of women who are supporting equally shared parenting and NC Fathers applauds their efforts. Even though we are an organization based in North Carolina who has undertaken the same mission, we have long pointed out that many women should be supporting shared parenting as it is without a doubt the best option for healthy children after a divorce or relationship breakdown. For many decades various organizations have attempted to frame this debate through the lens of mother vs. father and made this a “Women’s Rights” issue. But we disagree. There are many women across the world who have a stake in shared parenting and these include non-custodial mothers and women in their extended family, women in paternal families, and any mother who has a male child and wants to make sure that he has an equal interest in his kid’s life should he experience divorce. The Leading Women For Shared Parenting is made up of an impressive list of women well known to shared parenting activism and lobbying, and they include Dr. Linda Nielsen of Wake Forest University, Barbara Kay of the Canadian National Post, Jill Egizzi of parental alienation awareness organization, Molly Olson of the Center For Parental Responsibility, Phyllis Schalfly of the Eagle Forum, Jill Carter who is a civil rights activist and member of the Maryland General Assembly, Rachel Alexander who is a political columnist and attorney, Representative Phyllis Pond of Indiana, Dr Janice Fiamengo of the University of Toronto, Sheila Peltzer of KN2P, Ruth Langford of wikivorce, Terry Gaspard, MSW of the Huffington Post, Senator Sylvia Allen (Ret) of Arizona, Mary Lou Ambrogio of the International Free Press Society, Paulette McDonald, Erin Pizzey a UK Domestic Violence pioneer, Gwendolyn Landolt an attorney and founder of REAL women for Canada, Karen Selick an attorney, Lise Bilodeau found of ANCQ, Barbara Mills who is a subject matter expert on domestic violence, and Kris Titus of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council. If you are a woman who is devoted to the cause of equally shared parenting then we encourage you to join Leading Women For Shared Parenting.

Why Women Should Support Equally Shared Parenting

Each day, our organization hears from many women who all express outrage with family court officials and legislators who have used the breakdown of marriages and relationships to monetize various agendas, gender and sexual politics campaigns, and for financial interest by organizations that have a interest in two parents fighting for 21 years. The problem is, this fighting is hurting children physically, mentally, and emotionally. With Shared Parenting, kids can continue to receive equal amounts of love, nurturing, guidance, support from both parents and extended families. With Shared Parenting, no longer will the goal be about winning a custody battle where parents do everything possible to excoriate the other parent in order to win; the focus with Shared Parenting will be about teaching parents the only way to a brighter future for children is through learning to work with the other parent and developing a parent plan that is mutually beneficial to everyone.

We want to make this very clear, there are probably more women who support shared parenting then there are men when you consider each time a father is marginalized in the family courts, there are at least two women in his family who will be equally marginalized and hurt in the process. Undoubtedly, it is these women who formed Leading Women For Shared Parenting. If you are a member of our group, we ask that you join this organization and do everything in your power to volunteer and help these group of women and their mission. We ask you to do this for your young loved ones, and we ask you to do this for yourselves because if you are reading this it is likely that you have found yourself alienated from your children by a very divisive family court system that seems to value you only for your financial contribution via a federal enforcement agency rather than your direct impact on your kids, grandchildren, step-children, and nieces and nephews.

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NC Grandparent Rights is an issue that has heated up lately, so we wanted to write an article that gives our personal thoughts on the issue of grandparents and their rights to minor children after a divorce or relationship breakdown. Before we do, NC Fathers is an organization of non-custodial parents, grandparents, step-parents, and other family members who are trying to reform the family courts for judicial non-discretion equally shared parenting when it comes to custody matters when both parents are fit. You can join our organization’s FACEBOOK PAGE and MAILING LIST after reading our GOALS if you identify with this article. Our organization believes that the current family court system is build around one parent winning custody and control while the other parent loses and becomes marginalized with the system as a mere visitor and payment provider. We believe this has the result of pushing one parent, grandparent(s), and step-parents to the outer margins of their kids lives which creates great divisiveness and leads to increases in domestic violence, fighting, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and eventually very hopeless and sick children. Under an equal system, there would be nothing to fight over, no need for parents to excoriate each other, and parents and grandparents could learn to work together for the betterment of NC children. While we place a lot of impact on parental empowerment, we also realize several areas where grandparent rights do come into play in NC and we will address those below.

NC Fathers does NOT endorse the law firm in this video, it is simply here for educational purposes:

Posts related to NC Grandparent Rights in Child Custody matters – NC Adoption Laws, NC Domestic Violence Industry, Putative Fathers

If you are a NC non-custodial parent or grandparent, then it is important that you click on the blue and red graphic below to get a reminder of how divisive the family courts are and how they systematically disenfranchise one side of a family from their children while empowering custodial parents and their extended families. As a NC Grandparent, many times you are seeking rights to your grandchildren because the State of NC made it impossible for the parent in your life to actually be a parent. Many times, we believe there would be no need for grandparent rights if the system empowered both parents instead of trying to push one as far away as possible to feed the industry of rich lawyers, political agendas, and ideology.

NC Grandparent Rights And What We Support For The Best Interest Of Children

• Our organization believes that when one parent dies, the love, support, and importance of grandparents and surviving siblings still remains and often times after one of their parents dies, the other parent has total control to COMPLETELY remove children away from their other family because there is significant ambiguity in NC laws protecting surviving siblings and grandparents.
• When one parent meets with incarceration, substance abuse, mental or physical incapacitation, or other impairment, the one parent will move to seek total control of children which has serious implications for the grandparents, step-parents, and siblings of the other parent who is experiencing difficulty. Many times we see where when one parent in incarcerated, the other parent will attempt to start a new life many states away when there is very much a fit, loving, and important grandparent locally who needs to continue that relationship.
• In almost all social services situations where this agency desires to place children with foster parents, or even wants to adopt them out, we believe that the rights of NC grandparents should be considered above everything else.
• We believe that when one parent meets with a restraining order or other domestic violence situation, the rights of grandparents to have visitation and decision making ability should remain intact.
• NC Fathers believes that when BOTH parents have been found unfit, that BOTH grandparents in NC should have equal visitation (when applicable) and decision making ability before social services and the courts feed the adoption industry.

Where we DO NOT believe in NC Grandparent rights, is when a grandparent fights a FIT parent because he/she believes that the grandparent is the better parent as this just gives ammunition to the other parent to seize on this breakdown and move for complete control.

What are your thoughts on the rights of grandparents in NC? Use the comment system below to let us know your thoughts even if you do not agree with us. Also, please consider sharing this article with other grandparents in NC on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin so that we can get a good debate going on this issue.

Are you a grandparent in NC who has legal and/or physical custody of a child? We would definitely like to hear from you. Or, if you are a grandparent in NC who has lost contact with a grandchild because of ambiguity in the law then we also would like to hear from you and see your comments.

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This article officially puts Heidi Baur, who is the Onslow County NC Social Services Director, on notice that NC Fathers has had enough with the insanity coming out of DSS in Jacksonville and Onslow County. As an organization that has a reach all over the State of NC, one would expect to discontent from citizens in the large metropolitan areas like Charlotte, Raleigh, and Greensboro. Yet, we consistently hear from people who have amazing things to say about Onslow County DSS and Child Protective Services and it is time for there to be a blog present for more and more of these families to discover and unite around an organization that demands Onslow County Representatives and Senators deal with these problems. If you have had dealing with Heidi Baur, child protective services, and other social services staff in Onslow County where you believe they have overstepped their legal bounds then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and make contact with us on FACEBOOK where you can collaborate with other who have likely experiences social services abuses and talk with us. If you are interested about or organization, both of the graphics below explains our GOALS. While this blog will be made available to Heidi Baur and DHHS staff who oversee social services policies and procedures in Raleigh, this blog is not asking the Director to do anything or change anything within her system because it is likely see will not agree with our article. This article exists solely for those families in Onslow County who have no voice against this agency when they get things wrong. Nothing is ever going to change until there is a unification of non-custodial families and families who have experienced illegal and abusive acts from the agency Heidi Baur administrates. Lastly, there is a comments section at the end of this article where anyone can tell their story to the public and Onslow County Social Services Director.

Posts related to Heidi Baur – Onslow County Department of Social Services, Judge Sarah Seaton, Senator Harry Brown, Sheriff Ed Brown

If you read nothing else in this article, if you are a parent in North Carolina, you simply have to read THIS ARTICLE on the Family Court Pay Wall because it is affecting tens of thousands of NC non-custodial parents yearly.

While our organization is primarily a non-custodial family advocate for equally shared parenting where non-custodial parents, step-parents, and grandparents can utilize for our purpose, we do recognize that social services agencies not only in Onslow County, but all across North Carolina engages in conduct that is blatantly illegal and it is likely there is nobody there to help right those wrongs if your experience abuse.

If you are in a Onslow County NC non-custodial family, we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below to see if you identify with our exhaustive list of issues we have identified within the NC family courts that needs the attention of NC legislators. If you are tired of being marginalized and disenfranchised in your kids lives whether you are a non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, or other member of the family, and you are tired of being seen important only because you are a payment provider and visitor to your children then this organization is for you.

Heidi Baur, Reform Onslow County Department of Social Services and Child Protective Services Now

In the matter of Shawn Schmidt, Heidi Baur has refused to put her agencies full resources into this non-custodial mother seeing her children in 2070+ days (As of May 2013).

NC Fathers has had contact from many non-custodial parents in Onslow County NC who tell us that social services routinely will tell one parent to do something that many times is against a court order, or there will be consequences. We are aware of no less than 7 cases where Child Protective Services staff told custodial parents to keep a child(ren) from an investigated non-custodial parent, but refused to file for a hearing to ask a Judge to make that order or even bring cases of abuse or neglect. In these matters, social services has elevated themselves to Judges in an obvious attempt to save money. However, as we have been told, Judges in Onslow County will likely overlook this illegality because it is in the best interest of a child. If this is how things work, why do we even need Judges?

While on the subject of “best interest of a child” this statement is often used by social services, Judges, and Legislators when they need society to overlook things because it is keeping children safe, even if these things are illegal or cross serious boundaries. These people love to used children as tools in order to do bad things. We see this over in the middle east all the time where terrorist will put kids in military institutions so that we can’t bomb them because they know it is very easy to say you hurt kids and killed kids.

NC Fathers is aware of pediatricians in Onslow County who have sent letters to Heidi Baur asking her to remove kids after they did investigations and found that parents were engaging in medical neglect.

NC Fathers is aware of Jason Shupe’s social services case hat has been going on for over three years and defies any logic or professionalism and has likely traumatized thier children for many years.

Onslow County NC non-custodial families needs to understand that DSS cannot operate without a budget and a huge part of their budget comes from federal Title IV-D money through collection of child support. For every dollar collected in child support, Onslow County DSS gets back an equal match of money that is then used for this agencies programs, services, staff, and salaries. With this in mind, it is important to remember that social services has a tremendous incentive to see non-custodial families severed from their children so they pay greater child support which triggers more federal money.

Ask Director Heidi Baur what the average educational level of child protective services staff is and you will learn that they only have a 4 yr degree in any human services field, but they are allowed to make very serious decisions, many times clinical decision, that can have extreme consequences for families when biases, ideologies, a need to be a hero, or job justification is an issue. Most professionals that decide matters involving children and families have advanced degrees and professional associations that regulate what they can say and do. But not at social services. They have complete immunity and they have no oversight from regulatory organizations that can remove their licenses if they breach policies and procedures. Since Heidi Baur is solely responsible for her staff, then non-custodial families in Onslow County need to hold her accountable with your elected officials.

NC Fathers is very aware that there are MANY citizens in Onslow County NC who have experienced abuse at DSS, and if you contacted an attorney to stop that abuse, you likely found that none were willing to help because it is not popular to sue a state agency. If you don’t have money to hire a lawyer, DSS does not care, you will never see your children again. If you disagree with DSS, they do not care. If DSS wants to take your kids and adopt them out, or put them in foster care and you are unable to hire an attorney, they do not care. All they care about is staff having jobs, and federal and state money.

If you are not prepared to hold Heidi Baur accountable, and your elected officials accountable, then nobody is going to come to your rescue.

Heidi Baur and Onslow County NC non-custodial families

Onslow County NC non-custodial families represent a HUGE amount of voters that come from every racial and cultural background, educational level, political party, and socioeconomic background that if united would make up the single largest lobby group in NC. And you have good reason to unite. For going on 6 decades the family courts and social services agencies have found ways to monetize a breakdown in families through lawyers making money when parents fight for 18 years, social services staff taking kids to get federal and state money, along with keeping the adoption industry happy. Many people at Onslow County Social Services get involved to be hero’s, or to advance some political or gender ideology. Each day, all social services agencies do the most disgusting things to children and families for job justification and more money and it has to stop. But the only way this will stop is when families in this county unite and start having talks with Director Baur and their elected officials.

If you identify with this article on Director Heidi Baur of the Onslow County NC Department of Social Services, then we ask that you join our organization and extensively share this article on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin. Additionally, we want to hear from military families at Camp Lejeune who identify with this article because we see an overwhelming number of military personnel who come to us and tell us unbelievable stories that turn out to be true after we get documentation. Heidi Baur can dismiss this article, but you can’t dismiss a unification of families who have experienced social services abuses, and we intend to do this.

If you agree with this article, please share it with Director Baur via her email or her office number: (910) 219-1847 / Heidi_baur@onslowcountync.gov

One thing is for sure, we are going to make sure a Internet search of Director Baur is first and foremost in the search results as it is likely that when people experience heavy handedness with this agency they will search out the Director’s name. And, the writing is on the wall Director, you cannot keep dealing with Onslow County NC families like this agency has an not expect them to fight back.

Now, using the comment system below, what do you want your elected officials to know about Onslow County DSS and their Director?

Please Ask  <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/heidi-baur-onslow-county-nc-social-services-director-alert">Director Heidi Baur</a> of the Onslow County Department of Social Services to reform her agency.

Republican Senator Harry Brown is a lawmaker who serves Onslow and Jones County NC voters in the NC General Assembly. This article serves all non-custodial family members in Onslow and Jones County NC who have simply had enough with the bias and divisiveness in the family courts which has led to your families being marginalized, disenfranchised, and stigmatized as visitors to your children if you are even allowed that. NC Fathers believes that the best outcomes for children after divorce or relationship breakdown is for children to continue to have near equal access and support from both parents AND their extended families which is something the Federal Government and State of NC can ever accomplish, and we need for you to join our organization to help send this message to Senator Harry Brown and other Republicans in the General Assembly. Furthermore, you can join our FACEBOOK PAGE and interact and collaborate with other non-custodial family voters in Onslow and Jones County NC. Lastly, our goals and mission is stated here. Senator Brown should also recognize that our organization is made up of individuals who have experienced abuse within the Onslow County DSS system, and we are a group of men and women who come from every racial and cultural background, socioeconomic background, educational background, and political party affiliation. Additionally, we are represented by a lot of military families at Camp Lejeune who experience far greater abuses in the family court simply for being a service member.

Posts related to Republican Senator Harry Brown – Onslow County Department of Social Services, Judge Sarah Seaton, Sheriff Ed Brown

If you are a Onslow or Jones County non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, or friend of the family who witnesses the sever conflict the family courts creates for children and the relationship with their non-custodial family, then we urge you to click on the red and blue graphic below to read a list of significant issues Senator Harry Brown and the Republican Party needs to address. NC Fathers wants to make it painfully clear to the Senator that given the divorce rate and rate at which parents are creating children out of wedlock, along with the numbers of people experiencing social services abuse, that these families make up an incredible amount of voters in Onslow and Jones County NC. We realize that many of the issues discussed in this article will not be easy fixes, and nor will they be popular, but this organization is the only united front advocating for the families and we are quickly building our numbers. At some point Senator, we will have amassed a large number of very angry people who have experienced historical bias in our court system and we will direct them to you to ask why this system was allowed to prosper.

Republican Senator Harry Brown and the Onslow / Jones County NC Family Courts

Below is a list of issues that we are calling on Senator Harry Brown to address with the Judiciary members of the NC Senate as it relates to Family Law reform, more social services oversight, and equally shared parenting.

• Senator Brown and Republican lawmakers need to realize that we are tired of being triggers for increased federal and state money through collection of child support. Onslow and Jones County NC non-custodial families should realize that for every dollar collected in child support, the federal government gives make an equal match of Title IV-D money that can then be used to replenish welfare expenditures. To us, it seems like the State of NC and lawmakers have developed a system why which one family is purposefully pushed to the outer margins of the kid’s lives in order to increase federal support payments which triggers greater funding for the State. Every non-custodial parent who pays $800 a month in child support via enforcement, the federal government gives back Onslow and Jones County $800 to pay for food stamps, WIC, and other social services programs.
• Since social services in Onslow and Jones County is the recipient of huge amounts of federal money that keeps jobs and programs alive, we feel that there is a wide open door of abuse that happens on non-custodial families so that we continue to trigger money for them, or for them to create problems and get increased amounts of money. Historically, social services has been very service driven with custodial families in providing educational assistance, food assistance, housing assistance, daycare assistance, job assistance, financial assistance, medical assistance, and programs to make sure they have an easier time maintaining stability while non-custodial families only have the option of jail when they need assistance. This system by which only ONE side of a child’s family is helped by Onslow and Jones County is sick Senator Brown. Furthermore, the absolute immunity social services workers have who only have four year degrees in any human services field and who have no professional organization oversight is beyond dangerous.
• If Senator Harry Brown and Republican lawmakers do inquire about the issues contained in this article, they will be told that equally shared parenting creates greater conflict in kids lives when you put parents who cannot get along together more often. This Senator, is a myth, and it only takes common sense to realize this. When one parent realizes that a divorce is about to happen, and that he will likely lose any custody battle, that his kids will likely be moved 7 states away, and that he will only be able to see them four days a month or summers, and that the family dog will have more ability to raise his children than he will, this creates far greater conflict, domestic violence, and murder/suicides than equality will. In fact, the “one parent win, one parent lose” system of our current family law process demands that parents do the most incredible things to excoriate the other parent in hopes of winning custody and control of children. Therefore, we really do not want to hear about conflict and how reform will cause more.
• Senator Harry Brown will also be told that with equally shared parenting, more children will be sexually and physically abused by their fathers. Here is the problem with this line of thinking, if a father is going to physically or sexually abuse his child, he can do so even if he only has one hour of visitation a month. There is nothing magical about four days a month that prevents fathers from killing their children. And, of course this assumes that mothers do not physically abuse their children. Why are fathers being held to a standard that mothers are not?
• Republican Senator Harry Brown will be told that we cannot have shared parenting because there are powerful women’s rights groups that have enormous power in the NC General Assembly. Senator, have you considered grandmothers, aunts, and step-mothers in non-custodial families? Have you considered that every mother in Onslow and Jones County NC who has a male child will one day be marginalized as a paternal grandmother when these same organizations need for her son to be stereotyped as an abuser? This seems like a lot of women to us Senator.
• Senator, did you know that the average cost of a custody battle is $20,000 per parent and that parents fight two of these battles in 18 years for a grand total of $80,000? And this does not include minor child support and contempt battles that increases this figure well above $100,000. Clearly, lawyers make a lot of money when parents fight for 18 years, the problem is that children lose. Would you rather see this money go to lawyers, or Onslow and Jones County kid’s college educations, a down payment on a home, money to start a business, or medical coverage for children?
• We wonder if Senator Harry Brown has any idea that thousands of Onslow and Jones County NC families never see their children again after a divorce because they do not have the ability to get $20,000 in cash to hire an attorney to secure visitation after one parent leaves a marriage or relationship and refuses to allow the other parent to see his/her child unless a Judge says so. NC Fathers believes that this one issue is more dangerous than any issue discussed in the General Assembly in the past five years.

Republican Senator Harry Brown and Onslow / Jones County NC Non-Custodial Family Voters

In Onslow and Jones County, there are tens of thousands of non-custodial parents, and when you add in the immediate family, we believe that this number jumps to a very large amount of voters. If united and using your voices and votes to have a talk with Senator Harry Brown, you can change your role as court ordered visitor to your children to that of equal parent (and family) with equal ability to nurture, love, and raise your children as the custodial family has. We know you are feeling this way but have been unable to have your voice heard in these matters because NC Judges seem more concerned about how much child support you pay rather than being directly active in your young loved ones lives. By joining our organization, and inviting one non-custodial family to our organization daily, you can help us change that.

With this said, it is vitally important that you share this article on Senator Harry Brown and Onslow/Jones County NC Republicans on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and Linkedin to bring about maximum exposure. We also encourage you to use the comment system below to leave a message for Senator Brown and his legislative staff.

Lastly, we believe that is it incredibly important that women in non-custodial families get more active in this process as there are very powerful lobby groups using sexual and gender politics who want to make Senator Brown believe that by supporting equally shared parenting, he will be voting against women.

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Please Ask Republican <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/18/senator-harry-brown-and-jones-onslow-county-nc-non-custodial-families">Senator Harry Brown</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform for Onslow County NC Children.