Republican Senator Warren Daniel represents voters in Burke and Cleveland County NC which is made up of a large amount of non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members and friends. Senator Daniel is an attorney and sits as Co-Chairman on the powerful Judiciary II committee which would undertake the issue of family court reform, social services reform, and equally shared parenting. NC Fathers is an organization of NC non-custodial family members who have had enough of this historical profiteering of the family courts and who are tired of being marginalized to visitor families 4 days a month and under federal enforcement as a payment provider to their young loved ones. NC Fathers is sending the message to Senator Warren Daniel and other Republican lawmakers that our intent is to reach every single Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial family member and ask them to review our goals and join our mailing list in an effort to build a citizen lobby group that demands that the Senator addresses our needs. If you identify with this article and want to support our organization, be it as a non-custodial family or proponent of shared parenting, we ask that you join our Facebook page and collaborate with us. NC Fathers reminds Senator Warren Daniel and Senate Republicans that given the divorce rate and system by which one family HAS to be marginalized in a child’s life after divorce or relationship breakdown via the family courts, there are a lot of voters from every political party affiliation, culture and race, socioeconomic status, and educational level who have a stake in this reform.

Posts related to Republican Senator Warren Daniel – Judge Gary Dellinger, Cleveland County Department of Social Services, Senator Richard Burr

Family values? Rights of the people to be free of oppressive government control? I wonder if Burke and Cleveland County non-custodial families agree with this campaign message from Warren Daniel?

As an attorney, Senator Warren Daniel knows very well how destructive the family courts are to Burke and Cleveland County NC children and the relationship they have with their non-custodial family. While the Senator may disagree with this assertion, it is likely that non-custodial families will not and that is what is important here. If you are in a Burke and Cleveland County NC family and need a reminder of what Judges and Legislators ask you to live with for 21 years, then we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below and we would love to see your comments using the form below this article.

It is also important to remember that the Senator, as an attorney, is a member of the ultra powerful NC Bar Association that is steadfastly opposed to equally shared parenting and who believes that the position you are in is just fine with them.

Republican Senator Warren Daniel, The Burke and Cleveland County NC Family Courts And You

First and foremost, as an attorney, NC Fathers encourages Senator Daniel to explain to county families how it is that Legislators and Judges advocate for a system that pits two parents against each other in a court of law, encourages them to excoriate each other in an attempt to win custody and control, takes $20,000 from each parent in the process (twice over 18 years), and lives with themselves knowing that this money could go towards starting a business, medical expenses, college tuition, or for a down payment on a home?

Often, opponents of shared parenting will say that this arrangement will cause greater conflict between parents, but the above question contains enough conflict potential than anything we can imagine. Senator Daniel, would you rather see $80,000 dollars go to children or lawyers?

Other issues Senator Warren Daniel and Senate Republicans must address regarding the NC Family Courts:

• Senator Daniel, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence claims that only men and fathers are responsible for sexual and physical abuse of wives, former wives, and children and this is a good reason to deny fathers equal parentage and access to his children. Yet, they are fine with fathers having visitation with their children. Can you explain how 4 nights a week is a magical number that prevents fathers from killing their ex-wives and children? And if the patriarchal rants of gender and sexual politics coming from this organization is correct, are you and other male legislators also wife beaters and child molesters? Or, is it possible this organization excludes you and your sons because they need your votes?
• NC Fathers encourages Senator Warren Daniel to explain to Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial families why their sons go to jail and are excoriated on the public Internet for being deadbeat fathers when they have tough economic times, yet custodial parents are able to escape this via social services educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, food assistance, daycare assistance, medical assistance, housing assistance and tax credits? Senator, would it not make more sense to either create a system by which both parents are empowered for the good of their children, or help offset the need for all these assistance programs by allowing the non-custodial parent and extended family to provide these services naturally?

• Republican Senator Warren Daniel will be told that we cannot have shared parenting because there are powerful women’s rights groups that have enormous power in the NC General Assembly. Senator, have you considered grandmothers, aunts, and step-mothers in non-custodial families? What about non-custodial mothers? Have you considered that every mother in Burke and Cleveland County NC who has a male child will one day be marginalized as a paternal grandmother when these same organizations need for her son to be stereotyped as an abuser? This seems like a lot of women to us Senator.
• Senator Daniel, how is it that our State Legislators and Judges continue to talk about the “absent parent” problem that we supposedly have in this state, yet each day in the Burke and Cleveland County family courts Judges allow custodial parents to move children many states away from non-custodial families who are active to the extent Judges will allow them?
• Does Senator Warren Daniel realize that there are tens of thousands of parents who come home daily to find their spouse has decided to leave a marriage and under NC law, that parent does not have to allow the other parent to EVER see his children again unless he can come up with $20,000 to exercise his rights? What happens to those parents who don’t have that money Senator? And you are fine with this? Have you talked with Senate Republicans about this? We see where you sponsored bill S41 which honored boy scouts, but you won’t sponsor a bill that protects a parent from this family court pay wall?
• Senator Warren Daniel and Republican lawmakers need to realize that we are tired of being triggers for increased federal and state money through collection of child support. Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial families should realize that for every dollar collected in child support, the federal government gives make an equal match of Title IV-D money that can then be used to replenish welfare expenditures. To us, it seems like the State of NC and lawmakers have developed a system why which one family is purposefully pushed to the outer margins of the kid’s lives in order to increase federal support payments which triggers greater funding for the State. For every non-custodial parent who pays $800 a month in child support via enforcement, the federal government gives back Burke and Cleveland County $800 to pay for food stamps, WIC, and other social services programs. We are not opposed to these services, we just don’t think pushing parents to the outer margins of their kids lives is appropriate to obtain funding for these programs.

Republican Senator Warren Daniel versus Cleveland and Burke County NC Non-Custodial Families

Senator Warren Daniel should see the message that we sent on 5/18/2013 to our 6,000 member mailing list and growing social media channels:

“There are a LOT of lawyers in NC who have united around the NC Bar Association (lobby group) who has a direct impact on legislation that keeps your families marginalized, disenfranchised, and socialized into the role of a visitor to your children assuming your even allowed that. Unfortunately for this lobby of lawyers, the number of voting non-custodial families in just ONE NC county equals every lawyer in this state. Add in non-custodial families from the other 99 counties and we will have legislators emailing us daily wanting to talk reform. Also, keep in mind that there are lawyers in NC who do support equally shared parenting. The tide is turning, but we have to keep the pressure on. Invite just one non-custodial family member to our organization daily.”

We realize that the Senator will immediately recognize the issues we discuss in this article as uncomfortable and unpopular topics especially with colleagues that make so much money from the system. But Senator Daniel, what happens when Burke and Cleveland County non-custodial family voters ALONE equal every lawyer in this State? And, since we are the only organization advocating for these issues, we are finding that our network is growing at an astounding rate.

If you are a Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial step-parent, parent, grandparent, aunt or uncles, or possibly even just a friend of the family who sees what they endure daily, then we encourage you to share this article on Senator Warren Daniel with other NC families using Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and Linkedin to help gain maximum exposure.

Additionally, we think it is vitally important that you use the comment system below to leave your personalized comments to the Senator and his staff so they have a good idea of the numbers of voters these issues hit.

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When you hear the NC Democratic Party talk about equality, one usually thinks along the lines of equality for Women, African-Americans, Hispanics, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered (LGBT) community and others. But, you do not usually hear anything from NC Democrats in regards to equality in the NC Family Courts which have been extremely unbalanced for going on a century now. And, every time we attempt to talk with a Senator or Representative who has established themselves as a Democratic, we typically get the silent treatment. We suspect this happens because the narrative in regards to family law has always been defined as a male vs. female issue (or mother vs. father) for which we believe Democrats want to advocate for Women’s Rights to their children. In fact, just about every Women’s Rights or Feminist group operational today identifies with Democrats to maintain a system by which Mothers get custody of their children and Fathers suffer the usual fate of non-custodial parent who gets visitation periodically. This disturbs us and in this article we are clearly going to show where the NC Democratic Party is making a huge mistake because in the defense of a divisive family court system, they are actually hurting many more women than men, and they are hurting a lot of African-Americans and Hispanic Fathers and Women in their families. If you are affiliated with the Democratic Party in NC and are a Mother or Father who was marginalized in the family courts, or a woman in the paternal/maternal family who identifies with the information contained in this article, then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to help us encourage Democrats to work with Republicans to bring about comprehensive equality in family court reform.

Posts related to the NC Democratic Party – Representative Susi Hamilton

In the video below, you can view a significant portion of a speech given by President Bill Clinton at the Democratic National Convention in which he addresses equality for African-Americans, Hispanics, Women, and members of the LGBT community, all who for the most part identify Democrat. Continuing with this article, we are going to explore why many in these groups will come into conflict as it relates to family law and the courts which have for a long time been maintained by the Democratic Party and lobby efforts by supporters of this party. I also want to make it VERY clear that this organization does not have a problem with equality for African-Americans, Hispanics, Women, and members of the Gay and Lesbian community. In fact, we advocate strongly for that. But we do have a problem with the fact that, as it relates to family law, NC Democrats seem quite content with throwing Men and Fathers (along with Women in their families and non-custodial Mothers) under the bus when it comes to talking about equal parentage and access to their children. For us, equality is about equality for everyone, not just groups that vote Democrat.

We also want to make it very clear that we are not accusing Democrats for everything wrong with the family law courts because Republicans have just as much culpability. This article simply exists for NC Democrats and their families to use when talking with their Representatives and Senators, especially if they have been pushed to the outer margins of their children’s life after a divorce or relationship breakdown. In our discussions with Democratic lawmakers, we have talked to a few who actually support equally shared parenting like Senator Daniel Clodfelter and we are sure there are others. In the same vein, we have talked to Democrats in the NC General Assembly who we feel, if they had a choice, Fathers would never see their children.

NC Democrats, Equality, and The Family Courts

While there are people and groups that disagree, most everyone in NC agrees that the family courts very much favors Mothers when it comes to child custody, and sees Fathers as the ones who work to provide for their children. And, it is this reason why many believe Fathers should not have custody (or equal custody) of their children. Of course, while this may have been appropriate many decades ago, there are just as many Mothers who are working full-time jobs in 2013 as Fathers. And while many will say that Mothers should not lose custody of their children because of career advancement, these same groups sure do advocate that for Fathers. This has been the narrative played out when we talk to NC Democratic Representatives and Senators.

Our organization does not believe that Women should be losing custody or their children, we believe that they and the courts should be developing a plan by which both parents can put aside their differences and work together as equal parents along with their extended families to provide healthy amounts of support, love, nurturing guidance, and growth that no State or Federal Government will ever be able to achieve.

NC Democrats and Women

As stated earlier, when we talk to Democrats in NC, we hear many talk about Women’s and Mother’s Rights and we agree. Women and Mothers are very much needed in their kids lives and when non-custodial Mothers find their way to our organization, we advocate very hard for them. But what is missing, is the talk about the importance of Fathers and WOMEN in paternal families like step-mothers, grandmothers, female siblings, and aunts who bring tremendous amounts of support and love to children that they are related to by paternity. Why are these Women consistently thrown under the bus by the NC Democratic Party in the name of equality? Why do these Women only have the opportunity to do this four days a month?

In the game of sexual and gender politics, many people forget that Women birth many Male children who we suspect that they love and want the best possible life for. In the movement for equality for Women, are we sure that we are not putting a barrier in front of Women’s sons when they become Fathers and experience divorce which will likely lead to their marginalization? And where will these now marginalized paternal grandmothers be when they talk about his right to be an equal parent?

Another group of Women the NC Democratic Party is overlooking in their refusal to discuss family court reform, is non-custodial mothers. Of course, we suspect that many in this party will advocate for a system where no mother is ever a non-custodial parent for ANY reason, but the reality is that many are. If inequality is wrong for Fathers under this system, it is also wrong for Mothers who lose custody of their children. Again, we are talking about equality here, not Fathers gaining the upper hand in custody battles. The fix to family law for the Democratic Party in NC is not to create more custodial fathers to even out the clear bias, the fix is to empower BOTH parents and ending the system of the courts that encourages and mandates fighting.

The NC Democratic Party And Fathers

In the convoluted world of politics, many believe that Men usually vote Republican and that Women vote Democrat, but this is just not the case. There are MANY NC Democratic voting Fathers and Mothers, and Women in their extended families, who are experiencing devastation in the family courts almost hourly in North Carolina. With this in mind, we have to wonder why these Women and Men are NOT talking frankly with Democratic lawmakers about equality when Democrats make it one of their biggest talking points?

And what about African-American and Hispanic Fathers and Women in their families? What happens when these families experience inequality in the family courts and fail to recognize that NC Democratic lawmakers have their heads in the sand on this issue?

NC Democratic Party and the LGBT Community

Gay Marriage is not only a NC debate, it has clearly become one that Americans are going to be asked to either oppose or defend in the very near future. And, NC Democrats have  solidly said that as a party, they support and advocate for the same rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons in marriage that heterosexual citizens enjoy.

And our group is completely neutral on this subject.

However, equality in the family courts is something that, once gay marriage is defined and becomes reality, members of the LGBT community will quickly face. What is going to happen when two women are LEGALLY married, and they either adopt a child, or one of them birth a child from a donor and they decide to divorce? Who gets custody in this case? Will Democrats continue to advocate that the birth mother retain custody, and the Woman who did not birth the child be marginalized like non-custodial families experience in the family courts? Or, will Democrats come out in favor of equally shared parenting because this is a Women’s Rights issue? If the later is the case, how will Men in the Democratic Party react?

What about when legally married Gay Men adopt a child, or find a surrogate to birth the child? In this case, things get even more complex. Will Democrats side with the Woman who birthed the child over the Men who have long supported the party? How will Democratic lawmakers decide which Man gets custody of the child given the historical stance that Men should not have custody of their children? If Democrats come out in favor of Men gaining custody of the children, what happens if the birth mother decides she wants to keep the child? What happens if these Men divorce? How will heterosexual Democrats in NC deal with the party advocating for shared parenting in Gay Marriage but no heterosexual marriages?

Again, this is not an argument against Gay Marriage, we are just pointing out emerging complications where inequality in the family courts that proponents have long advocated for is going to come back and hurt them.

NC Democratic Voters Who Support Equally Shared Parenting Need To Talk With Their Lawmakers and Party Officials

As we have just shown, inequality in the family courts, a position that NC Democrats favor, is affecting hundreds of thousands of Men and Women, and it is about to affect hundreds of thousands more when Gay Marriage is realized in our State. If the party of equality is serious about their stance, then it is time they come out and support equality across the board especially with regards to the family courts and child custody.

We believe family law reform for equally shared parenting is an issue that affects every person on this planet in some form or fashion. It affects people from EVERY single racial and cultural background, socioeconomic status, educational level, gender and identification of gender, and political party affiliation. However, for some reason, the issue of equality in the Family Courts of NC has been an easy one for NC Democrats because they just decided in favor of whichever group supports them or their ideology and this article should lay to rest that unfortunate decision. If you are a Democratic voter, and you love your children but have been pushed to the margins of their life because of the family court process that chooses one parent over the other (or you are a member of the family that got hit by proxy), then it is time you have serious talks with the party you support.

If you identify with this article, then we hope you will extensively share it with friends and family on the popular social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and Linkedin because we do value and enjoy hearing support or dissent on the issues we discussed in this article. Additionally, please consider using the comment system below to leave your most thoughtful comments on this issue. When submitting comments, please tell us what NC county you reside in and what efforts your local party are doing to end the damaging and divisive family courts. As always, we would love to hear from party officials in the NC Democratic Party.

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Morgan Hightower is a News Reporter with WFMY News 2 based out of Greensboro NC who recently solicited Facebook comments from the public regarding questions they would like to see her ask sitting Governor Pat McCrory during an interview he agreed to with her. In looking at the comments, I saw no less than 15 questions from supporters of NC Fathers asking about family law reform and equally shared parenting. In viewing the interview with the Governor, Morgan Hightower decided that none of the questions you posted on the WFMY News 2 Facebook site would be asked of the Governor. Fair enough, I don’t think anyone expected that all comments submitted would get answered and there were probably other comments that Mrs. Hightower and WFMY News 2 didn’t get to ask. Nonetheless, we feel that it is time that the mainstream media starts to hear from NC Non-Custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members that make up an overwhelming numbers of voters and media consumers in the State of North Carolina because the issues are very important and hurting upwards of 5.5 million families and children. With this in mind, we wanted to create this blog and ask NC Fathers supporters to pose comments to WFMY News 2 and Reporter Morgan Hightower regarding what you have experienced in the family courts and then we will share this blog with her on Twitter and others sites and perhaps she will keep an open mind and do some research on them and get in contact with us about a story. If any reporter at WFMY News 2 wants to contact us, they can do so on our FACEBOOK PAGE or via this CONTACT FORM. If you are a consumer of media in Greensboro NC and a non-custodial parent or extended family member then we strongly encourage you to submit comments.

In the section below, we are going to post our own comments to Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 regarding issues we think are at the top tier of issues that are extremely dangerous and leading to serious conflict, domestic violence, and murder/suicides since they that are related to the NC Family Courts. We also want to caution Mrs. Hightower that our organization is not a Father’s Rights group or Men’s Rights advocacy group. We advocate for any parents (Mothers, Fathers, and extended families) and their extended family who have been marginalized as a 4 day a month visitor to their children, and who pays money to a federal enforcement agency to support their kids instead of being allowed to directly support their kids as an equal parent with equal access.

Issues Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 in Greensboro NC Should Consider When Thinking About Family Court Reform

• Morgan Hightower should know that per NC law, when two parents separate from a marriage or relationship, the law is very clear that unless there is a custody order, one parent can keep the children away from the other parent completely and even move across the country (sometimes Internationally) to start a new life. It is then up to the alienated parent to secure a lawyer that usually starts at roughly $20,000+ to initiate a court action. For many North Carolina parents, finding that money is impossible due to poverty and they (and the entire extended family) are forced into the position of never seeing their children again. For those that are able to obtain this money, by the time the alienated parents finds the other parent, hires an attorney in that jurisdiction, and gets a court hearing, it can take up to a year to do all this. By this time, Judges decide that since a year has elapsed, the alienating parent has established consistency and allows things to stay put. In short, whichever parent can get their hands on a child(ren) just before separation can alienate a child from another parent LEGALLY and force the other parent into a pay wall if they ever hope to see the children again. We believe the anxiety, fear, anger, depression, and turmoil of this common event hurts many kids and leads to domestic violence and/or murder/suicides. On just this issue ALONE, we believe WFMY News 2 has ample information to consider running a story on this.
• If WFMY News 2 reporter Morgan Hightower decides to do a news story on this issue, it is likely she will talk with several family law attorneys in Greensboro NC to get their side of the story and we already know what she will be told. She will be told that equally shared parenting puts two parents (who are likely in conflict) together more often and this will lead to increased domestic violence and murder/suicides. Our take on this has two parts: 1) What if the parent who has custody is creating conflict and the non-custodial parent is not? Hasn’t the custodial parent just created something that is keeping the non-custodial parent from equal parentage and access to his/her kids? 2) If anyone at WFMY News 2 thinks that after a divorce and spending $20,000 in a custody battle to only lose and either see their children four days a month or summers when a Judge allowed the custodial parent to move 6 days away is somehow going to lessen conflict, then we have a problem. This combined with bullet number one above explodes the potential for domestic violence and murder/suicides.
• There is no doubt that Morgan Hightower or another reporter at WFMY News 2 has done a story on deadbeat dads, but we suspect that ALL of these reporters didn’t have the whole story on WHY Fathers get into a position to not pay child support. Here is more information to consider. The entire family court process is built around one parent winning custody and control of a child(ren), while the other parent loses and becomes non-custodial. This setup starts a massive war between parents for 18 years who do and say the most insane things about the other parent in hopes of discrediting him/her so that one can win custody. On just this alone, we suspect domestic violence is very much a reality. But you also have to remember that the custodial parent also get housing assistance, educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, medical assistance, financial assistance, and tax incentives to make ends meet while non-custodial parents who have financial problems go to jail. We think it makes more sense to empower both parents, but apparently legislators and Judges disagree.
• Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 reporters needs to learn about the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 which is basically federal legislation that defines child support enforcement. According to this act, for every one dollar collected in child support by the State, the federal government will give back between 66 cents to one dollar that can then be used to replenish Welfare money at social services in North Carolina. Therefore, the State of North Carolina has an incentive for one parent paying larger and larger sums of child support as a marginalized parent which triggers greater federal money for needed State programs. Of course, with equally shared parenting, there would be less child support payed which would trigger less federal money and put the State of NC in a position to not be able to keep up with growing Welfare expenditures. Therefore, we believe that or family law system has been setup to make sure the State of NC has Welfare money on hand and is done on the back of the non-custodial family/child relationship.
• Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 reporters needs to know that the average custody battle in NC starts out at roughly $20,000 PER PARENT and the national average is that parents will fight two of these battles in 18 years for a total of $80,000. When you add in minor skirmishes over contempt violations, child support, and other matters, this figures jumps to well over $100,000. This is a tremendous amount of money in lawyers pocket from just one family. So our question to Morgan Hightower is, would she rather see this money in lawyers pockets or in parents pockets who can help their children go to college, buy a home, start a business, or get needed medical care?
• NC Fathers has NO doubt that WFMY News 2 reporters have done considerable stories on Domestic Violence which is a very serious problem in North Carolina. However, there are things happening in the family courts that are beginning to cast a shadow of doubt on ALL domestic violence matters which is beyond dangerous. As stated earlier, parents who want to win custody have an incentive to make a false allegation of domestic violence because it is the perfect tactical weapon to put the other parent in a real tough situation to either win custody or any visitation with his children assuming he can even pay for a custody lawyer after spending all his money on a criminal lawyer on the violence charge. Many people are under the misunderstanding that this cannot happen, because without evidence of domestic violence or witness to alleged violence, a matter can never come to fruition. This is most certainly wrong and we point that out quite clearly in how it happens. As this happens more and more, this shadow of doubt is going to hurt many Men and Women who are actual victims of Domestic Violence. And, The Jodi Arias case just underscores how easy it is to do. It should also be noted that this video is Father centric, but in reality any gender is capable of doing this and it happens in 90% of child custody matters.

Another video to underscore this problem of weaponizing false allegations.

So with just the information above, there is clearly enough conflict and dangerous issues that currently exists in the NC Family Courts to dispel lawyers, Judges, and the NC Bar Association assertion that we have a good system.

Our belief is that when the courts are equalized and there IS NOTHING TO FIGHT OVER, and when Judges tell parents the future with their children is dependent on both parents working hard to put differences aside and work with (as opposed to against) the other parent then everything above will be minimized and this is the message we want Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 to understand.

Now it’s your turn to post comments to Morgan Hightower using the comment system below. Simply put your name or initials in the field below, a email address (not shown once you post), and write out a RESPECTFUL comment about some issues with the NC Family Courts that you have experienced as non-custodial families. If you are open to WFMY News 2 contacting you about the information in your comment in case they do a story on this, please indicate it in your comment and we will send your name and email address to Mrs. Hightower. However, please do not put your email directly in your comments. Lastly, we strongly encourage you to share this article on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin to bring about greater knowledge to the issues we just discussed.

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There are very good reason why Men should not get married these days, and we think more and more Men are starting to realize this and deciding to stay single. In reading this article, we can understand where one may say our article is misogynist and we are just a bunch of irresponsible and selfish Men who refuse to evolve. Unfortunately for those that will take this stance, I am a paternal grandmother who is pointing out why Men should no longer get married and I am going to point out things that many Men will immediately identify with even if society and Women refuse to acknowledge it. Of course, I expect many Women who read this article will be repulsed by what they read and will exclaim “Not all Women are like that” as if this is a good reason to dismiss everything in this article. I also do not want to make the claim that Men are refusing to get married today because Women are bad because a large part of this has to do with laws and feminism that has taught Women to think and act differently and they may not be realizing it. I will take credit for saying that modern day feminism, not early feminist who fought for equality for everyone, but the ones that fight for Women at the demise of Men are very much at fault for teaching young Women that everything wrong with the world is because something a Man has done. Or, in many cases because Men exists at all.

Top Reasons Why Men Should Not Get Married Today

• When Men get married and there are children born of the marriage, there is an overwhelming and pervasive chance that if the marriage ends, the children will automatically live with their Mother and the Father will be pushed to the outermost margins of their kid’s lives. Most of the times this means Dad is considered a bi-weekly visitor who sees his children far less that the family pet does at Mom’s house. Other times, and a situation that is growing, Dad never sees his children at all because Mom and the Courts decided that Mom and the children should live in another State or Country. On this issue ALONE, Men should seriously consider never getting married.
• Spouses in all marriages fight, but few Men realize that Domestic Violence laws are geared such that any Man in this country can find himself in jail, removed from his kids, his home, job, belongings and reputation every time there is a marital spat even when there is no physical contact and this happens on a VERY frequent basis. Here is North Carolina, Domestic Violence is defined as ANYTHING that causes another person to feel uncomfortable, or in a position where he/she fears imminent harm. But do not be fooled by the gender neutral terminology, this statement clearly means Women only. Each day, hundreds of thousands of Men in Marriages go to jail for Domestic Violence if his Wife calls 911 and says “I feel like I am in jeopardy” after a MUTUAL fight that involves yelling, cursing loudly, or slamming a door. If 911 is called, the Man in the marriage is going to jail regardless, even if there was mutual combat. Not concerned about this because you have been taught that this cannot happen without evidence? WRONG! All Domestic Violence cases are handled on the legal precedent of “Preponderance of the Evidence” rather than “Innocent Until Proven Guilty” which simply means that a Judge can convict you of Domestic Violence ABSENT evidence or witnesses if he/she simply FEELS like there is a greater likelihood that violence occurred. Once you are convicted of Domestic Violence, you might as well say good-bye to your children, belongings, job, reputation, and home even if there was no PHYSICAL violence. Again, on these grounds ALONE, is a very good reason why men should not get married or engage in relationships.
• If you are a Man in a marriage who makes the decision to cheat, you will be labeled as a male chauvinist pig, likely sexual deviant, insecure, selfish, and irresponsible child who should be shunned in society. When Women cheat, most Women and actually many Men while come to the defense of the Woman on the grounds that she cheated because the Man wasn’t giving her enough attention, or because of some other reason. After cheating, she will walk from the marriage with a lot of support and her reputation intact, a Man will not.
• Another good reason why Men should not get married is that if the marriage ends, he is likely to lose 50% of his assets, retirement, social security (in many States a LOT more) and is ordered to pay lifetime alimony to the wife EVEN if she leaves the marriage on her own, cheats, or does something significant to cause a marriage to end. Of course many say that this can happen to Women as well, the problem is that it usually does not. In cases where Women are breadwinners and made considerably more money that their husband, it is very rare for a Judge to order alimony and unequal distribution of community property.
• While it is starting to slightly become common to see Women being breadwinners in marriages today and Dads staying at home to take care of the children and home, the general consensus is that Men who do not work are deadbeats and bad Men who do not care about their families. When Women do not work, even if there are no children involved, society does not come down as hard (or at all) on them. If you are married and have a wife, it seems your job is to work and work hard even if it means staying a a dead end job to maintain societies standards of a married Man. For Men who are not married, there is much more latitude in regards to career choices or educational advancement.

Radical Feminism and More Examples Of Why Men Should Avoid Marriage

There is little debate that radical feminism’s view of Men is one of disposability. And, that these Women’s group control the media, universities, and politics who for many decades now have blamed Men for everything wrong with the world which has unfortunately caused Men to become very angry at Women even when they do not subscribe to radical feminist ideologies. Because of this anger, we think that many Men are choosing not to get married because it is impossible to decipher which women do see Men as disposable and which Women do not. Let take a look at some examples that exists in society that is leading Men to re-evaluate marriage and make the decision to go their own way and not follow sociological pressures to get married.

• It was once said that if one wants to end all Wars, simply allow Women to serve in combat situations. Society is very much OK with Men coming home in body bags and the media helps to propagate this notion by making it glamorous and heroic. But society very much will not tolerate Women being killed in service to their country and this translates to many Men starting to wonder if they matter at all.
• Men are sentenced to prison much easier than Women, and are often given the death penalty and harsher punishments for the same crimes lending to the thought that we do not value Men as much as Women.
• When was the last time you says a Men’s Studies program at a public university or a health care professional that specialized in Men’s health? They are not very common, but just about every major university today has a Women’s Studies program and every nursing program at that university has 99% of the PhD level researchers focused on Women’s health. We think this adds another level of disposability to Men that could explain why Men are not getting married and want to just be alone and away from society’s pressures.
• If you are a married Man who has not helped conceive a child and you have a vasectomy without telling your wife, it is VERY likely that you will not be married long. But, as a Man, if you even think about discussing reproductive rights of Women then you are going to find yourself in a world of hurt. Society simply does not see the reproductive rights of Men as they do Women.

These are just a very small portion of examples where society puts a lot of pressure on Men and there is very little media coverage, research, and discussions on how this is affecting Men. Men are simply tired of hearing about how many rights Women do not have when there is overwhelming examples of where society and Women trump any Men’s Rights. In comparison, it is impossible to open up your daily newspaper these days, or view television programing, or participate in social media and read stories about issues that are affecting Women and we think that Men are starting to ask “What about us?” Undoubtedly, this demise of Men is leading more and more and more Men to choose to stay single and not get married.

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NC Fathers believes that the Democratic Women of North Carolina forgets that they are inadvertently creating their own war on women in the areas of family law and domestic violence. Since starting our organization, we are finding that women in paternal and non-custodial families have come out very strongly with their concerns regarding these two issues and we felt it was time to write a blog outlining their concerns. While primarily an organization of non-custodial parents in North Carolina who seeks family law reform for the presumption of non-discretionary equally shared parenting, we also advocate for all family members in the non-custodial family who are equally invested in their grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and step-children. The Democratic Women of North Carolina should recognize that in their efforts centered around Women’s Rights, specifically Mother’s Rights, which mandates that Fathers must either not gain custody of their children or have equal parentage and be pushed to the outer margins of their children’s lives as visitors and child support payers, they are actually hurting more Women that Fathers. The Women include paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, aunts, and daughters who love their Fathers. The Democratic Women of North Carolina should also remember that roughly half of NC Mothers have male children who will one day be marginalized in the NC Family Courts by Democratic policies that demand Mother centered family courts. Essentially, this organization’s efforts is helping to create great pain for the male children in the future if they experience divorce, and will likely be hurting many future non-custodial grandmothers.

How many of the Women featured in the video below have Male children? How many are paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, sisters of Men, and daughters of Men who have been equally hurt in the biased family courts?

Posts related to the Democratic Women of North Carolina – NC Democratic Party, Representative Susi Hamilton

Visit the Leading Women for Shared Parenting Website

If you are Woman in a paternal or non-custodial paternal family who has been affected by the extremely divisive family courts, or by domestic violence policies that helped alienate your sons, husbands, fathers, and nephews from their children and homes then we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below to view a significant list of issues we have identified as leading to the situation you are in regarding your grandchildren or step-children. Additionally, we ask that you and members of the Democratic Women of North Carolina read our article on the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence before continuing with this article.

Democratic Women of North Carolina and Family Law Issues

Below is a list compiled by Women in our organization from all 100 NC counties who demand that the Democratic Women of North Carolina respond to is relates to family law and the courts:

• By attempting to create a court system that maintains the Mother and Child relationship only at the demise of a Father’s equal interest in his child’s life, how exactly can the Democratic Party continue it’s claim as the party of equality? How many paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, aunts, and other Women in paternal families watched as their Sons summarily lost their attempts to be equal parents after a divorce or relationship breakdown and were court ordered to be child support obligated four day a month visitor remanded to federal enforcement?
• How many Women in paternal families have watched as the family courts have allowed Mothers to move their children hundreds and thousands of miles away from active and loving fathers and how has this affected your ability to be a active and supportive grandmother or step-mother?
• How many Women in paternal families have watched their Sons go to jail because of poverty, illness, or loss of employment that prevented them from being on-time with their child support payments and not have the ability to get assistance because of their non-custodial status? How many Women voters in NC from paternal families have visited their children in jail because of tough economic times while knowing that the Mother of their young loved ones has access to housing assistance, food assistance, educational assistance, daycare assistance, medical assistance, dental assistance, financial assistance, job assistance, and tax incentives to make ends meet in tough economic times but call your Sons “Deadbeats” because they don’t have the same access to these services?
• NC Fathers wonders how many supporters of the Democratic Women of North Carolina have had sons lose total access to their children because they did not have access to $20,000 family law attorneys to obtain basic rights to their children when a Mother left a marriage or relationship and prevented any access to the child(ren) unless a Judge gave visitation? Our organization estimates that there are tens of thousands of Fathers (and their families) in NC this happens to every year.
• How many Democratic Women in paternal families have witnessed how the family courts encourage two parents to excoriate each other in the family court process in order to win custody, and in doing so both parents spending $20,000 each with lawyers only to win exactly what you would have gotten if you didn’t even show up to court? How many Women in paternal and maternal families would like to see this money go towards their kids educational fund, medical fund, or money to start a business or put a down payment on a home?

Democratic Women of North Carolina and Domestic Violence Policies

NC Fathers statement on Domestic Violence For Democratic Women of North Carolina To Consider

Domestic Violence in North Carolina is a serious issue facing all of humanity, not just Women. Violence reduction against all humans requires a collaborative effort that is solution and evidence based; not grounded in governmental politics,  sexual politics or gender ideology. Amelioration efforts must encompass proven interventions, both in treating victims and perpetrators and in providing legal remedies that serve the purpose of amelioration.

All these strategies must produce a sustained effort with informed sensitivities to men, women, and in particular, children, instead of using misdirection and other tactics that are designed to further ideological agendas and fund organizations.

Unfortunately, in North Carolina the only efforts aimed at ending Domestic Violence is geared towards male on female violence, harassment, intimidation, and control while denying that violence happens in ALL marriages and domestic partnerships including those relationships within the LGBT community.

As a Women in a paternal family, you need to know that federal laws which define what is considered as domestic violence includes things like raising one’s voice, slamming a door in anger, pointing a finger, or any other action that causes a person to “FEEL” like they are afraid or in danger. As a Woman in a paternal family you need to know that Domestic Violence prosecution is not based on innocent until proven guilty, but rather preponderance of the evidence which simply means that absent any evidence or witnesses to an allegation of violence, a Judge can still find guilty if he/she feels that the LIKELIHOOD is greater that violence PROBABLY occurred.

Under the conditions of domestic violence definitions being so low that any act could reasonably be considered domestic violence and there not needing to be any evidence of abuse to have your sons, brothers, and fathers convicted, this has led to a culture of false allegations that are becoming the normal thing to use as a tactical advantage in child custody battles and they are being used at astonishing rates to win custody. Each day our organization hears from Women in North Carolina paternal families who tell us that they are witnessing this happen on a frequent basis. With this in mind, we are encouraging Democratic Women in North Carolina to find ways to bring evidenced based and gender neutral laws to the area of Domestic Violence so that this culture of false allegations can be dealt with and so that we can end ALL violence in North Carolina. Our organization also encourages members of the Democratic Women of North Carolina to consider the fact that as the false allegations become more common and Women talking about their occurrences, it will eventually start casting a shadow of doubt on ALL Domestic Violence allegations that could hurt victims of actual violence.

If you are a Woman in a paternal family or non-custodial family who identifies with this article, we ask that you share this article on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and other networks to help us educate other non-custodial families about the issues discussed in this article. Additionally, we encourage you to use the comment section below to leave comments on what you would like to see Democratic Women in North Carolina do to resolve these issues. Lastly, we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to help us in our efforts to bring about comprehensive family law reform and sensible domestic violence policies that focus on ALL violence in North Carolina.

Roughly half of custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then? With Equally Shared Parenting?

It appears NC Judges have taken to social media (Youtube)  in an effort to advise parents on how the family courts operate and there is a strong emphasis on custody mediation. Having come across these videos, we obviously decided to watch them and do so with an open mind. In this article, we are going to provide our assessment of the message these Judges have for parents and their families, and we are going to ask one, just one very simple question of non-custodial families in particular. That question is, given your experiences in the NC family court, do you REALLY believe that these Judges have the best interest of children in mind, or is there a balance of best interest of children, and serving the many special interest groups who have formed around the family courts in order to monetize the process? The fact is custody mediation in NC does not work because Judges are unable to overcome the 80 yr systematic bias they have for one parent over the other, and have socialized parents and probably everyone in North Carolina to understand that the goal is to win custody and control of the kids at any cost.

There are simply too many incentives to not be the parent with custody, and until Judges and Legislators deal with that, this entire system is going to be a joke. Everyone knows that if you have one parent adamant that she/he is going to win custody, then the entire system is pointless. And, these malicious parents know that their chances are very high given the history and statistics on the courts choosing one parent over the other. In short, why mediate when I know I’m going to win everything in court? Why mediate when I know I will have all the control? Why mediate when I know the other parent just wants to get into court where there is a system built around winning? Our belief is that the day the courts take away ANY chance of one parent winning, these parents will stop fighting and focus on working together because that is the path that has the best outcome for children winning.

After we break down these Youtube videos on custody mediation put out by NC Judges, we are going to explore the many special interest groups that have a stake in the NC family court industry. Under each video we will provide some commentary and thoughts on each one.

It is refreshing to hear Judge Enochs tell parents that they should not allow a Judge to hear their custody case, but unfortunately Judges fail to recognize that the malicious parent wants custody mediation to fail so that he/she can get into court and win at any cost. In listening to Judge Sue Burch talk about resolving custody cases, we had to laugh because the reality is these cases are never resolved. The courts are ridiculous, it is a never ending cattle call of the same parents filing motion after motion after motion in system that is setup for only one to win. When one parent wins custody, the other parent tries to unseat the other, then the other parent tries to prevent it and you end up having 18 years of fighting. This is good for lawyers, but very detrimental to children.

In viewing the video above, we simply have to ask non-custodial families, are you pleased with the disposition of your child custody case? How about you step-parents, grandparents? Do you like being only allowed to see your kids or grandchildren four days a month because someone HAD to lose a custody battle? Do you like being in a federal enforcement agency who takes your money instead of directly supporting your children as an equal parent?

Honest with each other? Are you kidding me? The goal of our current child custody system is to win, at any cost. This system NEEDS for each parent to be the most horrible person on the earth so that the parent wanting custody can win. The fact is most child custody matters are filled with extreme manipulation, lying, and false allegations aimed at forming a tactical advantage in the courts and NC Judges allow it.

We honestly do not know where to begin after viewing the video above and will just allow non-custodial families to sit back and pray or laugh.

So you thought that child support enforcement is simply a federal program aimed at supporting children who have an absent parent and who refuses to support his/her child huh? Most people do, but what they also fail to realize is that many times the parent ordered to pay support was PREVENTED in doing so directly as an equal parent and was forced into this federal agency. Why? Because the State of North Carolina gets upwards of 300 million dollars a year from the U.S. Federal Government in collection of child support and paternity establishment. Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, for each dollar collected in child support, the government will send back an equal match of federal money they can use for social services programs. In short, the State of NC does not need equal parents directly supporting their children, they need one side of the family court ordered into marginalization four days a month and pushed into this federal agency that helps the State pay for the rising cost associated with social services programs. If NC parents were successfully doing mediation, they might actually learn to get along and share custody, which would mean no ability to enforce a parent. For those of you who have been in child support court, you will immediately recognize that the workers seemed more interested in how much money you had that day and payed no attention to whether you were an equal parent and even had access to your children as a parent, step-parent, grandparent, or aunt and  uncle. These child support enforcement workers are under federal mandate to get money, NC Judges know it, and Legislators need it to pay for Welfare.

Earlier we talked about incentives to not mediate by a malicious parent. Why mediate when that parent needs financial assistance, food stamps, housing assistance, educational assistance, daycare assistance, medical and dental assistance, job assistance, and tax incentives to live? Only custodial parents receive this, and if we had an equal system where both parents were empowered, it would likely mean less benefits and incentives for the one parent who wants to win.

Domestic Violence in North Carolina is an insidious problem that is going to require every man and woman on this planet to stop it’s existence, but the problem with the response to Domestic Violence is that it has become monetized and used for political purposes. And, the lobby groups that have their eye on this issue are one of the biggest advocates of the current court system where one family is pushed as far away as possible, while the custodial family enjoys power and control. Using the issue of Domestic Violence to gain political power and money is disgusting, and it is actually exacerbating violence, especially for those in the family courts. Each year, Congress hands out 550 million dollars a year to special interest groups who have formed to do Domestic Violence work. These include book writers, and professional lobbyist who want to make a living from this issue. If you look on the website of the NC Coalition Against Domestic violence you will only see data related to male on female violence, and zero information about female on female violence, male on male violence, and female on male violence. Additionally, the causes for domestic  violence, as explained by NCCADV, is patriarchy and gender oppression despite a wealth of data showing that substance abuse, mental illness, poverty, job loss, emotional disorders, and anger management problems being first and foremost as the causes for domestic violence. By this organization singling out only Men, it is clear this is an organization using gender and sexual politics as it’s lobbying efforts, and this spells disaster for women in paternal families, and even Mothers with male children who will get caught up in this web of deception when they are Fathers.

If you subscribe to the idea that domestic violence laws and lobbying should be centered on Men ONLY, while overlooking other gender types and sexual orientation, consider this example: If you have two children, a male and female, and both are throwing temper tantrums, you do not only correct that behavior in the child who may be doing it 10% more and let the other child throw them. This is exactly what the NCCADV is doing and NC legislators are listening to them. This organization is the single most influential organization preventing shared parenting in NC because they have legislators believing that all Men are natural abusers of Women and Children, including your sons, brothers, nephews, and fathers.

Family court battles in North Carolina are big business. The average cost of a custody battle is $20,000 per parent. The latest studies show that parents will fight two of these battles over an 18 year period along with minor battles over contempt violations, visitation modification, and child support. Parents in NC are spending roughly $90,000 with lawyers over 18 years and if there was nothing to fight over, or mediation worked, then parents would not be forking over potential down payments on homes, college educations, and medical coverage fighting. The NC Bar Association, along with the Domestic Violence lobby is adamantly opposed to a system where parents are not fighting and spending money with lawyers. Thankfully, in recent weeks we have met a few lawyers who have joined NC Fathers who are expressing outrage over this and we want to thank them.

Since social services agencies in North Carolina are completely dependent on Title IV-D money from non-custodial families, and they need a lot of families not having regular access to their children so that they pay greater child support and trigger more federal money which keeps them employed and being service driven for custodial families. We believe that social services is very abusive with non-custodial families because of how the system is setup and opens the door for overly aggressive child protective services investigations. Without marginalized visitor and non-custodial families, there would be no money to maintain their employment.

As we have shown, the family court process is big business with many different groups having political and financial interest in and there are countless lobby organizations who fund their organizations by funneling members to their cause using gender and sexual politics and misinformation. A simple search of the Internet will reveal lobby groups who believe Fathers are natural sexual and physical abusers that should never have access to their children, and vice versa. The problem here is that when one of these groups get big enough, their membership and money yields significant power over politicians who need their votes. For going on 60 years now, lobby groups that represent custodial parents, child support enforcement, lawyers, and others have had a seat at the table when legislation is considered. The reason that non-custodial families keep getting the short end of the stick is because there is not one single lobby that is united and representing them and their children.

Until you as non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other families realize that you are a HUGE group of voters with considerable power, and who use that power through unification then the current joke of the family law process will always be like it is and no amount of right or wrong will ever change it. Politicians and Judges understand four things 1) Money 2) Power 3) Votes and 4) The lack thereof.

There are roughly 4.7 million people in NC who are either directly or indirectly related to a non-custodial family, and these numbers EASILY allow you to affect numbers 1-4 above.

Assemblyman Michael Montesano of the New York Assembly represents the 15th district of which tens of thousands of non-custodial parents, grandparents, step-parents, and other family members live and vote from. Additionally, Assemblyman Montesano also supports the creation of a New York most wanted deadbeat parents list and website and in this article we are going to explain why this is a bad idea, and why tens of thousands of non-custodial FAMILIES in the Assemblyman’s district should turn their backs on him in future elections even if you are a member of his political party. At first thought, rounding up criminalizing parents may seem like a good idea to the New York Assembly, but we are about to show you why it actually does not work and actually creates far greater problems for voters in your community. If you are a New York non-custodial FAMILY member, it is important that you join and help support FaFNY which is an organization trying to bring comprehensive and common sense family law reform in your State.

Our organization wants to remind non-custodial families, even if you made the choice to be non-custodial, that this issue very much affects you it is further important to realize that non-custodial families make up an enormous amount of voters in New York and the courts are creating more and more of you daily. If you desire to be an equal parent, grandparent, step-parent, or other family member, what Assemblyman Michael Montesano is proposing will make it much more difficult for you to be active in your kid’s lives. By not supporting FaFNY, you have nobody to be blame for your situation.

Before we outline why Assemblyman Michael Montesano and other members of the New York Assembly are making a bad decision in advocating for a New York statewide deadbeat parent most wanted list, we want to educate you on one of the biggest reasons politicians in New York have developed an incredibly polar family courts and why they actually need you far removed from your kids lives in order to receive Federal dollars for State Welfare programs.

Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, each dollar that the State of New York collects in child support, they get back an equal match of money from this federal legislation that they can use to replenish social services programs. This means that for the non-custodial parent who pays $500 a month in child support, the State of New York gets $500 in federal money to pay for food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, TANF, and other programs. Given that these use of these programs are growing at a blinding pace, State politicians are at a loss on how to pay for it all. This is where YOU as a non-custodial family comes in. The more child support you pay, and through your inability to be an equal parent, or to have regular visitation, you are making Assemblyman Michael Montesano’s job easier in finding money to pay for these resources.

And who is it that gets the majority of these programs? It’s the custodial parent of your minor child who is able to escape prison, being on a most wanted list, and losing her kids because the State of New York is all too willing to monetize her children through providing daycare assistance, food assistance, job assistance, housing assistance, educational assistance, medical and dental assistance, and tax incentives. But the State and this custodial parent are quick to have you, your husband, your brother, or your son in prison for economic hardships?

In short, the reason why millions of New York non-custodial families are not able to get equal parentage of their children, grandchildren, step-children, and nieces and nephews is because of politicians like Assemblyman Michael Montesano and other members of the New York Assembly who have found a way to keep state programs running off your marginalization.

Assemblyman Michael Montesano And The New York Assembly Must Not Support A Deadbeat Most Wanted List

Here is the argument Assemblyman Montesano is going to give voters in New York regarding a State deadbeat most wanted list and website. He is going to argue that this is for the best interest of the children which is a common theme politicians use because it elicits emotional feelings for children and makes people support legislation based on that emotion even when they have no idea what the legislation is doing, even when it is doing dangerous things and lining the pockets of those that make incredible amounts of money from a polar family court system. The New York Assembly members are also going to argue that you are bad parents and families who have considerable amounts of money and who are out on their yachts drinking fine wine while your kids are at home eating ramen noodles daily because of your actions.

Our question to New York non-custodial family voters is, are you sure this is really what is going on and do you appreciate the Assemblyman making these wildly misinformed statements? Are you really out on your yachts, or are you part of the hundreds of millions of people unable to find employment, or who may have fallen ill, or perhaps you are taking care of a dying parent or ill spouse?

Assemblyman Montesano will argue that if you don’t have the ability to take care of a child, you shouldn’t have fathered a child. But the Assemblyman will never ask the custodial parent why she brought a child into the world when she is unable to care for the child even if that conception took place after a mutually consensual one night stand will he? To us it sounds like the New York Assembly is giving custodial parents a considerable amount of right with no responsibility, but non-custodial families few rights with a lot of responsibility.

This is especially important for politicians to get on-board with now that 40% of children born in New York coming into the world via unmarried Mothers who will use public assistance to make ends meet. Perhaps this is why the New York Assembly are so steadfast in making non-custodial families pay for it all.

Other issues Assemblyman Michael Montesano must face reality on:

• Continuing to criminalize parents and forcing them into a federal enforcement system after the State of New York prevented them in supporting their kids directly as equal parents is a sure fire way to light the spark for domestic violence and murder/suicides. Under a fair and equal system where there is nothing to fight over, parents will lose the incentive to battle.
• 40% of the parents the Assemblyman proposes to put on a most wanted deadbeat parent list are parents who were never told they had children by the mother and have warrants out for arrest for kids they never knew they had to support.
• A large number of the parents that will end up on the Assemblyman’s most wanted list will be putative fathers who have zero rights to their children, but who the State expects them to pay for.
• An overwhelming majority of the parents who end up on the Assemblyman’s most wanted list will be parents in extreme poverty and who have no money to get competent legal counsel, or to correct the problems in the legal system that led to their situation. Assemblyman Montesano should be ashamed that he is advocating for one parent being imprisoned for poverty and inability to get legal counsel while the custodial parent is handed 8 State programs to make ends meet.
• Assemblyman Montesano should be ashamed to say that he supports a system by which parents are put into a federal enforcement agency because they simply lost a custody battle. And, the Assemblyman should be ashamed that he does not support the idea that kids need both parents, not one parent in prison while the other waves her public assistance card. Perhaps if the Assemblyman created a system where the non-custodial parents where empowered to be equal parents you would see more children being taken care of.

Really Assemblyman? Do you have ANY idea how the New York Family Courts handle active duty Fathers in court? This is a disgusting level of pandering and if you are a service member who got their butts handed to them in the family courts then this politician needs to hear from you.

New York Non-Custodial Families MUST Vote NO In Any Future Elections Assemblyman Michael Montesano Runs In, And Unite Around FaFNY As An Advocate For You In The New York Assembly.

Here is why we think non-custodial families are where they are as it relates to equal parentage and having politicians criminalize them for poverty, we think that Assemblyman Montesano is looking out for the roughly $80,000 lawyers make off JUST ONE FAMILY over 18 years under the current system.

On this fact alone, the Assemblyman can stick “best interest of the child” where the sun does not shine because in NO way are these rich lawyers paying for New York’s kids educational expenses, ability to put a down payment on a home, to start a business, or pay for medical care that parents COULD pay for if their money weren’t in the pockets of the very powerful lawyers lobby groups.

It is imperative that non-custodial families realize their importance as a enormous group of voters in New York that come from every gender, educational background, economic status, and cultural and ethnic background. It is also important for Women in non-custodial families to realize you get equally hurt in stupid decisions politicians like Assemblyman Michael Montesano makes.

With this in mind, we ask that you extensively and routinely share this article on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other social networks so that other non-custodial families in New York can rally behind FaFNY and hold Assemblyman Montesano’s feet to the fire in creating a equal and fair system that is most assuredly in the best interest of children.

If New York non-custodial parents do not form an equally powerful and united association as the ones that advocate for your demise in the New York Assembly daily, you have nobody to blame but yourselves.

Judge William “Bill” Heafner is a NC District Court Judge in Randolph, Montgomery, and Moore Counties of NC who routinely hears family law and child support enforcement cases. Prior to becoming a District Court Judge in the counties he serves in, Judge Heafner was a practicing family law attorney. In this article, we are going to ask the Judge some questions that we suspect he knows the answers to, but this article is mainly for Randolph, Montgomery, and Moore County non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other members of the family to educate themselves on and help us build a very large organization of non-custodial families across NC who have had enough of being marginalized to the role of visitor family four days a month and big government payment provider over being a empowered equal parent and family. Should Judge William “Bill” Heafner decide that he wants to answer the questions we pose in this article, he is welcome to do so using the comment section located at the end of this article or by contacting us on our FACEBOOK PAGE. Additionally, non-custodial families in Randolph, Montgomery, and Moore County NC non-custodial families and voters are encourage to make contact with us and give us their experiences of Judge Heafner, as well as joining our MAILING LIST to get updates about what our organization is doing in the legislature to end the extremely divisive and dangerous family courts in NC.Posts related to Judge William “Bill” Heafner and the Randolph, Moore, and Montgomery NC Family Courts – Moore County Department of Social Services, Democratic Women of North Carolina

Non-custodial families in Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC are encouraged to click on the RED and BLUE graphic below to get a simple reminder of the caustic and dangerous environment District Court Judges in NC ask you to live with for 18 years, and issues that we ask you to start talking with other families about in your county. Our message to you is that we believe your importance to your young children as a family is not one where you see your loved ones occasionally  each month and be subjected to federal enforcement simply because we have biased family court Judges more concerned about politics. Moreover, in the section below, we are going to explore the issues that we believe keep you marginalized in the courts and help custodial families get everything they want.

Talking Points For Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC Non-Custodial Families To Remember When Judge William “Bill” Heafner Asks For Your Votes

Judges in NC routinely love to bring us the phrase “best interest of the child” when defending their 70 year practice of pushing one side of a child’s family to the margins of their life while giving control to another side of the family. Judges never say it, but we suspect their training and lobbyist efforts teach them to keep sexual and gender politics in mind when deciding child custody and child support enforcement matters because the statistics on one gender consistently getting custody over another debunks the notion that no weight is given to either parent when a case comes before a Judge. Below, we are going to show why the best interest of a child is simply not what is happening in the family courts, and why gender politics is dangerous.

• NC Fathers would like for Judge William “Bill” Heafner, or any District Court Judge in Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC, to explain how it is in the best interest of a child for one parent to decide to leave a marriage or relationship, moving 7 states away and alienating a child from one parent and family, and putting the massive burden on that family to find $15,000 to start a legal action if they ever hope to see the child again? This is best interest Judge? This is happening to families in North Carolina daily, and no Judge in North Carolina seems prepared to discuss it. Judge, how many women in paternal families is this affecting? How many children never see their fathers again because of poverty?
• Judge, our belief is that children need two empowered parents and extended families in order to have a successful life, yet the courts are built around one parent winning, while the other parents loses. The winning parent gets daycare assistance, educational assistance, job assistance, food assistance, housing assistance, medical/dental assistance, and tax incentives to avoid economic hardships while non-custodial parents go to jail. How exactly is this the best interest of a child?
• Judge Heafner, we know court officers go out of their way to not fully explain the child support enforcement system, so we are going to. We suspect that Judges will tell you that enforcement is nothing more than a federal program which ensures that a child is supported financially and medically by the parent a Judge forced out of their life. But Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC non-custodial families need to know that your forced federal enforcement efforts are also paying for Welfare and Medicaid programs, along with maintaining jobs at social services. Here is how it works, under the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, for every dollar collected in child support, the federal government will send back the State of NC one dollar that they can use to replenish social services programs that custodial parents are more frequently using. The State of NC simply does not have the money to pay for these programs, so they essentially need non-custodial families to pay for it via their marginalization. Keep in mind that the less visitation you have, the more child support you pay, and the more child support you pay, the more federal dollars come into the State. Could this be why your efforts to see your children more are routinely denied by Judge Heafner? We think so, but it’s best to ask him in the next elections.
• NC Fathers believes that Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC District Court Judges are exacerbating domestic violence, murder/suicide, and extreme conflict for children. While one team winning and another losing may make for entertainment during football season, it absolutely is a dangerous situation when talking about children and their parents. We believe that by taking the breakup of a marriage or relationship and the level of anger, fear, and frustration this naturally causes and giving one side control (and many times retribution) while forcing the other side of the family into submission is the perfect setup for violence. Of course, there are a lot of lobbyist and organizations that actually make money and gain political power off reporting continued domestic violence isn’t there Judge Heafner?
• NC Fathers wants Judge William “Bill” Heafner to know that the best interest of a child is for parents to have the money to support them not only as children, but to help them as adults. Best interest is not to create rich lawyers. Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC non-custodial families are well aware that a family law attorney costs about $15,000 (PER PARENT) to start a case, and you know that you fight more than one battle over the minor life of a child. Additionally, you know that you fight non-custody battles such as contempt motions, enforcement matters, and modifications. The grand total going to lawyers from just one family is about $80,000+. Judge, this is a lot of money that parents could use for medication and medical care, college educations, money to start a business, or for a down payment on a home. Again, how is this best interest?
• NC Fathers wants Judges in the Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County NC District Courts to know that custody mediation is a joke. Why should one parent mediate when they can just be obstinate and difficult to come before you and get everything they want? Who is going to give up the control, access to services, and the socially accepted custodial parent role when historically they know that the statistics are in their favor to win the ball game?

We are going to end this article now, but we could go on and on about the industry that has been created via the family courts in NC and the large numbers of people who gain from this system. We encourage you to learn more by joining our Facebook page and mailing list and gain from the collaboration with other families who are enduring this system.

But before we end this article, we want to offer Judge William “Bill” Heafner one more bit of knowledge. Judges in North Carolina are turning out very angry, frustrated, and demoralized non-custodial families each and every day. You come from every single political party affiliation, culture and ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and educational background. Additionally, many Judges like to take refuge under the enormous “Women’s Rights” organizations that love to help at election time. But our question, how many Women in paternal families are on their knees today because of Judges?

Roughly half of custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then Judge Heafner? With Equally Shared Parenting?

Nothing in this system is going to change until there is an equally important organization fighting legislators and lawyers groups who need this system to stay dangerous for families and children so they can benefit financially and politically. Lastly, we hope that you will routinely and exhaustively share this article on the Randolph, Moore, and Montgomery County NC family courts on sites like Twitter, Google+, and Facebook, as well as learning more about these issues before casting that next vote for Judge William Heafner or his political party.

Nancy Emslie is the Director of Finance and Administration at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV), and the intention of this article is to ask her some questions hoping that she will be able to resolve some concerns that we have. Actually, you can read more about our concerns HERE, but this article will be a continuation of the topics in the other article to make a point. If you do not have time to read the other article, simply put, our concern is that Nancy Emslie and others at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence are running a gender and sexual politics organization aimed at hurting young boys and Men rather than ending ALL Domestic Violence. And, we have some real concerns that this organization continues to get Federal and State dollars to do that. We make this claim on the grounds that the NCCADV blames patriarchy and gender oppression as the chief causes of Domestic Violence in NC, has tremendous amounts of data helping Women, Lesbians, and Women from other cultures, but very little data about Male on Male Domestic Violence and certainly none about Female on Female Domestic Violence even though national statistics show that Women commit Domestic Violence about 8 percentage points below Men. Now I know what the casual reader is going to say that we are way off base in writing a article to Nancy Emslie and the NCCADV because Women suffer more Domestic Violence, which is true. But is the answer to that simply to overlook all other forms of Domestic Violence and play gender politics and a blame game? Or, should we put gender and sexual politics aside and ALL work together to end all violence? But again, that point is made very clear along with many other concerns we have for the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Nancy Emslie in our previously linked blog.

Posts related to Nancy Emslie and the NCCADV – Democratic Women of NC

The purpose of this blog is to point out that Women are violent against their husbands, parents, boyfriends, and children and to call foul on the NCCADV for not paying attention to it and using only Male on Female violence to fund raise and derive political power. We also want Nancy Emslie to know that it is unfortunate that the the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence refuses to acknowledge the systemic nature of false allegations that are used by Women in custody matters as a tactical advantage in the family court which Women in paternal families are coming to us and screaming about. The NCCADV can continue to keep their head in the sand on this one because the victims of this are Men, but this problem is only going to begin to draw a dark cloud of suspicion over ALL cases of Domestic Violence is this is not dealt with. Additionally, we want to point out to Women in paternal families that the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence is one of the largest organizations fighting against family law reform and for the presumption of equally shared parenting on the grounds that if this happens, your sons, brothers, fathers, and new husbands will hurt their children and ex-spouse.

We are all for very strong Domestic Violence laws in North Carolina, but this game of gender and sexual politics, along with the numbers of professional lobbyist who make a living off violence actually continuing is disgusting.

We also want to point out that the NCCADV is not doing a very good job of ending violence because since VAWA came into existence, nothing is getting better. And we suspect it never will as long as organizations like this are playing political games with it and blaming. Or, is it possible that the name of the game is not ending violence, but using it as an emotional ideological and gender game to drive major funding into the hands of pseudo political lobbyist? Also, I see nothing from Nancy Emslie about treatment of male domestic violence offenders, but a whole lot of talk about transferring their assets to Women, losing their jobs, incarcerating them, and making it such that they are stigmatized for their life and unable to get jobs. It just seems to us like male and young boy bashing and blaming rather than ending violence.

Nancy Emslie, Women Do Commit Domestic Violence, And Many Are Violence is Non-Domestic Situations. So Why Is The NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence Not Worried About ALL Violence?

Nancy, the images below are from Facebook in which a news organization ran a piece about how a NC Father forgives his female babysitter after she allowed his child to die because she was on Facebook. Notice how not one of the Men called for violence against her, but many Women did. Where is the patriarchy, and who is doing the gender oppression?

Nancy Emslie should realize that one of your biggest outrages is when Men say “Well She deserved it” and there “is an excuse for violence”, but how does she explain the three Women in this gem?

So much for patriarchy on this one.

Nancy, it was even happening back in 1899.

Our question to Nancy Emslie is, do some children learn Domestic Violence by their mothers? Why is this research not on the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence website?

NC Fathers is encouraging Nancy Emslie and other at the NC Coalition to go to Youtube and search “Woman beats her 8 month old baby” and sign in with your Google account. It’s so disturbing Youtube had to force age limits. What did Google staff learn from this video Nancy?

Nancy?

Check back in a few days as we plan on filling this page and others with what the NCCADV and their biased news organizations refuse to tell you, that Women are just as violent as Men AND BY overlooking that fact, we believe that Nancy Emslie and the NCCADV are doing a HUGE disservice to NC Women, their Sons, and voters.

Judy Chaet is the operations director of the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence who is charged with administering lobby efforts within the State of NC. This article is going to call out Judy Chaet on the NCCADV’s gender discrimination and use of gender and sexual politics to misinform the public about Domestic Violence in the State of North Carolina. I also want to make it very clear to Women in paternal families that this organization is directly involved in lobby efforts to quash any talks of equally shared parenting in the State of NC on the grounds that your sons, brothers, husbands, and fathers are likely and probable domestic violence offenders who would kill his ex-spouse and children if he had more time with them. Of course, we are going to ask Judy Chaet if this is true, why isn’t there a massive murder spree every other weekend when Men get their children, and ask her to explain the psychology that says Men will only kill their children and ex-wife if they have their children 5+ days a month but won’t less than 4 days a month. Our belief is that attacking Domestic Violence globally requires every breathing person on this planet to stand up to do so and we are sorry to see the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Judy Chaet devolve to gender and sexual politics in order to more funding. In short, this organization gives us the impression that they are not at all concerned about Domestic Violence, but rather radical feminist theories covered up by this issue and we are asking Women concerned that their sons will be caught up in a zero evidenced based false allegation one day and be found guilty on the bad laws this organization promotes, and most certainly Women in paternal families.

Why are we writing this article? On The NCCADV website, they list the reasons for Domestic Violence in NC as patriarchy and gender oppression which is clearly aimed just at Men leading us to believe that this organization is more about politics than violence. Nowhere do they mention alcohol and substance abuse, mental and emotional abuse, poverty, loss of employment, or other stressors that unfortunately leads to  humans lashing out in violence when there is no support system in place to help them cope. Additionally, this organization offers no help for the domestic batterer leading us to believe they are here to simply profit from violence instead of preventing it in the first place. Why is that? We think it has a lot to do with the $550,000 million dollars a year organizations like this receive from the government to end violence and professional lobbyist need their money!

And, this article is not condemning feminism who advocate equality for everyone. This article is condemning radical feminism and their hatred of you, your sons, brothers, fathers, and husbands. Whenever we see the words “patriarchy”, which is a buzzword seen often in radical feminist circles, it is a clue that what will spill from their organization is that Men are guilty for everything wrong in the world.

To make our point obvious, why is Judy Chaet and their Board of Directors not joining other mainstream Domestic Violence organizations in calling for KFC to remove this video?

Why is Judy Chaet, others at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and their Board Of Directors not calling out the Salisbury Post for leaving this image up on the public Internet where four Women encourage and make light of female on male Domestic Violence? What would she tell Travis Alexander’s family in regards to female on male violence not being deadly?

Of course Judy will simply pull out her scripted radical feminist pre-prepared statement outlining how Women are FAR more the victims of Domestic Violence than Men and that any acts of violence on Men is rare. We will address that below in the numerous amounts of data on the Internet showing female on male violence. But to address her statement, we don’t disagree, but that still does not mitigate that your organization is turning it’s back on Domestic Violence.

Here are our thoughts on Judy’s assumed logic, the latest statistics put out by the government shows that Women text and drive at far greater numbers than Male drivers. In this scenario, would Judy Chaet call for a media blitz on just female drivers or sponsor legislation that called for female drivers to go through counseling? Or, would she focus on texting and driving by everyone in hopes of ending this issue all together?

Domestic Violence experts warn that violence does not always come in the form of hitting, as it can also entail psychological and emotional power often characterized as things only Men can do. But with that said, how does the NCCADV explain these four Women?

How does Judy explain this Woman?

Or this Woman?

How does the NCCADV Operations Director explain this one?

Even the Huffington Post (shocking I know) is finding female abusers.

Posts related to Judy Chaet and the NC Coalition Of Domestic Violence showing real world examples of female on female/child violence that the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence hides on their website – Beth Froehling, Nancy Emslie, Gregory Currie.

At the end of the day, we suspect that Judy Chaet will sit in her glass house and stand by her feminist logic and will have nothing to do with female on male violence because it does not fit the narrative and mission of this organization which is fine. But this organization is going to continue to provide real world examples each day of data showing that Women are perpetrators of Domestic Violence on Men and their Children, as well as asking NC legislators to explain why the NCCADV continues to get Federal and State money to promote violence.

Another issue that continues to concern us and lead us to the conclusion that the NCCADV actually benefits from violence is that we see non programs that actually address ending violence except for victims. It seems to use Judy Chaet thinks that transferring assets from Men to Women, putting them in jail, stigmatizing them, and causing loss of employment somehow stops the cycle of violence. Is it possible that the reason this organization is not  providing or bringing to light problems that address this issue is because they don’t want it to stop so they can continue to get Congressional money to fund their political organizations by exploiting pictures of Women who have been beaten in the media?

Judy Chaet, NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Does This Look Like Violence To You?

We suspect Judy Chaet will be all too happy to put a video up of a Woman yelling “please stop, please stop, please stop” as a Man is beating her, but is mute on this?

Judy, the misconception that Women can’t do just as much damage to Men when acting violently still hold true?

Judy, according to your organization, this never happens, yet here we are seeing it…

Naturally protective Mother…

There is no mention or data on the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence website about female on female violence, leading the untrained reader to think only Men commit Violence. Is this by design Judy?

We wonder if Judy Chaet condones Women beating their husbands just hours after marriage?

Judy, even the national media is picking up on Female on Male Domestic Violence and Murder, why isn’t the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence? Because it isn’t newsworthy, because Men deserve it, because it does not drive funding?

Can Judy Chaet and the NC Coaltion Against Domestic Violence explain why ABC News is picking up on the disparity in Male on Female violence and Female on Male Violence, and did so many years ago?

Woman hits her child with a bat to prove to her husband she in untouchable. Which brings up a good point, has all the media attention Domestic Violence Women’s group flood the media and Internet with as it relates to just Male on Woman violence in an effort to control the narrative just let to Women feeling like they cannot be perpetrators of violence and that the Man will always be arrested?

Yes Judy Chaet, even Pia Zadora gets arrested for domestic battering on her Son.

Uh oh, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence operations director has a problem, even the Mayo Clinic now has facts.

Quoting this pioneer: “Crick is internationally known for her innovative research on relational forms of aggression. Relational aggression, defined as behaviors that harm others via damage to relationships, includes acts such as using social exclusion or spreading malicious rumors. Evidence indicates that girls are more likely to engage in relational forms of aggression than the physical forms of aggression that have previously captured the majority of empirical attention.”

How in the world this organization is getting Federal and State money to publicly disseminate misinformation aimed at stigmatizing Men and Young Boys is beyond me and we are encouraging readers to share this article with NC Legislators today and ask them why. Once you do, use the comment section below to let us know which legislator you contacted and if he / she contacted you back because we will be HAPPY to call them out on this as well.

http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/members/memberList.pl?sChamber=House

http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/members/memberList.pl?sChamber=senate

And, we hope you will share this article on Judy Chaet with friends and family on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter who have an interest in ending ALL violence in North Carolina.

Gregory Currie is a Verizon employee who also sits on the Board of Directors at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and someone familiar with how this organization is run. First, we want to thank Mr. Currie for standing up for victims of Domestic Violence in the first place as a Man, but we have to call him and Verizon out for not being committed to ending all violence. In addition, we are going to ask Greg Currie why Verizon pulled a public service announcement, no actually we are going to ask why it was even made in the first place but we will get to that shortly, that clearly shows Verizon’s attempt at only focusing on one aspect of Domestic Violence while also stigmatizing young underage boys which presumably fits in with the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence attempts to blame patriarchy and gender oppression for violence instead of the more mainstream reasons that perpetuate violence for all Humans. The main question we have for Gregory Currie is, did Verizon make the mistake of partnering with the NCCADV as a PR move and not do their homework on efforts to end all violence, or was this also a PR attempt to appeal to Women?

In the video below, notice how the little girl speaks for girls, but not boys. Notice how Verizon makes sure they mention Dads as though they are Monsters, and attempts to stigmatize little boys as future Domestic Violence batterers which presumably the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence needs in the future for fund raising efforts or as statistics they can send to Congress to make sure that NC gets their fair share of the $550,000 VAWA pie they hand out yearly. Below this awful video, we will provide more commentary.

We, along with national Domestic Violence organizations who have the goal of ending ALL violence, find it particularly disturbing that Verizon (and presumably Gregory Currie) would attempt to have the public believe that only Fathers are Monsters and batterers, and that Domestic Violence does not happen between lesbian and gay couples or perpetuated by Women. The Board of Directors at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence can bury their head in the sand on unilateral violence if they want to and play gender and sexual politics, but this organization is committed on calling them out using video and news reports of such.

Please be sure to view our articles HERE, HERE, and HERE to make this point.

Our message to Gregory Currie is that there is an awful lot of violence going on in the articles we just pointed our 2,000 daily readers to, are you sure Verizon does not want to correct itself on Domestic Violence and help the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence understand that playing politics and games on this issue is bad and seems geared towards just ending certain gender perpetuated violence?

Do I need to continue this article Gregory like I did with the others in your organization showing where Women hit little girls and boys? Do I need to start showing this video to the HUGE numbers of non-custodial Fathers and Women in paternal families who experience false allegations of Domestic Violence in NC?

Another question we have for Gregory Currie and Verizon is why is the NCCADV not doing anything about false allegations used in family court as a tactical advantage in custody matters? Don’t these allegations cast a shadow of doubt on all allegations of violence as more and more Women in paternal families witness them?

Gregory, are you a Father? Do you know how easy it is for an allegation of Domestic Violence to be used against Men (and will be used against little boys in the future) and he be found guilty based on no evidence or witnesses to alleged violence? Gregory, do you know which NC coalition made sure these laws exists in the State?

Why is preponderance of the evidence used instead of clear and convincing evidence in the courts Mr. Currie? Is it used to inflate the statistics on violence so that Congress will feel compelled to send more money to the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence?

Can Gregory Currie and Verizon explain why the definition of Domestic Violence was lowered in VAWA such that almost any disagreement between a Man and Woman can be considered as violence? Here is a quote contained in a publicly available handout by the NC Bar Association which clearly shows this problem “Domestic violence is attempting to cause or intentionally causing bodily injury or placing the victim in fear of imminent serious bodily injury.”

So Gregory, imagine that you and your wife or girlfriend have an argument and she has decided to leave the relationship and wants to win a custody battle. At this point you are just arguing, and she picks up the phone as calls 911 to report you on the fear that you are about to harm her. Any idea who is going to jail for arguing Mr. Currie? Oh your not worried because there is no evidence? Dis you read our article on preponderance of the evidence Gregory?

Millions of Men and Women in NC paternal families are looking at you Gregory. And, if we have any say so in the matter, we will be asking them to look at Verizon as well when they enter our organization. Any idea how many non-custodial families there are in NC Mr. Currie?

We wonder if Gregory Currie has ever made a decision in his family, and if so, we welcome him to the patriarchy club. Yep, it’s just that easy for the NCCADV.

NC Fathers is currently seeking information on NC military child custody and child support enforcement issues experienced by those serving at Camp Lejeune, Cherry Point, Fort Bragg, Pope Air Force Base, and other military installations throughout the State. As an organization of non-custodial families, including everyone in the extended family, we believe the time has come for the courts to focus on less division and the practice of dividing parents into significantly unequal halves which we believe is causing extreme chaos in families and for children. If you are a NC military service member, be it Marine Corp, Navy, Army, Coast Guard, or Air Force we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to give us your knowledge and insights as our organization focuses primarily on the civilian family courts. We acknowledge that there are significant challenges experienced by NC military personnel when it comes to child custody and child support enforcement issues that are not a factor in the civilian world, so we need your insights. Using the comment section located at the end of this article, we encourage non-custodial families to convey this information to us so that other families in non-custodial military families can learn about your experiences and hopefully unite around a central organization who can take you from occasional visitor to your children to that of equal parent. It should be noted that NC Fathers IS NOT a law firm and nothing about this article should be taken as legal advise. If you are in the military and facing a child custody battle or child support enforcement issue, you are advised NOT to rely on information in this article and seek competent legal advise from a licensed attorney. Moreover, we encourage you to share this article with other friends and family on sites like Facebook, Google+, and Twitter.

Much of the inspiration for this article came from the SSGT Brandon Parsons incident and after receiving contact today from a military service member for which we had little answers for in his quest to navigate family law here in North Carolina.

Before we get to our section where we encourage you to answer questions we have for you, we do want to touch on three issues that many in North Carolina are not aware of and they are issues that are huge driving factors in child custody and child support enforcement not only for civilian Fathers, but also military Fathers.

• First, military Fathers are a gold mine for the State of NC (and all states), and here is why. Under the legislation that started child support enforcement, a huge chunk of this legislation is devoted to funding for this federal enforcement program. Under Section 458 of the Social Security Act Title IV-D program, for every dollar collected in child support, the State of NC will get back 66 cents to a dollar that they can then use to replenish social services programs. This means for a non-custodial Father who pays $700 a month in child support, the State of NC reports that money to the government and gets back anywhere from $400-$700 a month to pay for Welfare, food stamps, TANF, WIC, and other related programs. Our organization believes that the State of NC has become dependent on this federal money, and therefore needs a tremendous amount of non-custodial fathers triggering this federal money rather than equal fathers with equal access to their children and who support their children directly as a parent. We also suspect that this is why visitation orders by Judges have remained pretty much the same in the past 50 years despite overwhelming data that shows where children do much better in life when they have two active parents. In short, a father paying $700 a month in child support is helping the State of NC give food stamps to about 2-3 low income custodial parents. And we say custodial parents because non-custodial parents are not eligible for food assistance, housing assistance, medical/dental assistance, educational and job assistance, utility assistance, and other programs. If you get in trouble financially due to some unforeseen issue, you get carted off to prison while the custodial parent has government help.

The reason that we say military fathers in child custody battles are a gold mine for the State of NC is that because of your deployment status, you are very much given lower visitation awards by the courts which increases your child support which triggers more Title IV-D money.

• It seems daily that we get contact from Fathers who tell us that their ex-wife or girlfriend has alleged domestic violence on them and they are appalled by the fact that this allegation has proceeded as far as it has especially when there is no evidence or witnesses to alleged abuse. What military fathers in child custody and child support enforcement matters need to know is that a false allegations of domestic violence as a tactical advantage in family court matters has become routine and should be expected. In NC, because of how domestic violence is prosecuted, there does NOT have to be any evidence of domestic violence or witnesses to have you arrested and prosecuted successfully.  More on this HERE and HERE.
• Under NC law, if you impregnate a Woman whom you are NOT married to, you have ZERO legal rights to the child and she can adopt the child out without your consent. In fact, under NC law, she does not even have to tell you that she is pregnant and the burden is still on you to legitimate the child within a VERY SHORT window. But that begs the question, how do you legitimate a child you were not aware you have? According to contact we get daily, we see this issue arising frequently by military personnel at Camp Lejeune, Fort Bragg, Cherry Point, and Pope Field (Air Force Base). According to the latest Census, 40% of United States children are born to unmarried parents. More on this HERE.
• Paternity Fraud is rampant in the military because of your federal benefits, and we can not think of one situation where a Judge has help a Mother accountable for this, and there is certainly no law governing it. If any Woman on this planet presents herself to child support enforcement and names you as the Father, you will be put into the system no questions asked and will have to spend thousands of dollars in attorney fees to have this corrected. The hope here is that you never question it and the Mother and child can enjoy their federal benefits. More on this HERE.

NC Military Child Custody and Child Support Enforcement Request For Information

In this section, we are encouraging military fathers and their families to help answer questions we have about child custody and child support enforcement issues.

As we stated earlier, we believe the NC family courts are a dangerous place for children and families because of how they operate. Under NC law, there is NO joint custody or shared parenting. This means one parent will be rewarded as custodian of a child and will have access to 8 major social services programs and tax incentives, and the other parent will be marginalized to the role of visitor and payment provider who can not receive any State help should tough times hit. And, we are all well aware how much lawyers make financially when parents fight for 18 years. With this in mind, we have concerns that in the military world, where it is very much assured that a Father will not get custody of a child, that you are a highly valuable target for Women who have their sites set on State and Military benefits.

Does the military provide any education on this matter when you enter the armed forces? Do female soldier with civilian spouses lose custody of their children in child custody battles, and are they held to the same standard as you because of deployment probability?

In being directed to Craigslist today by someone who contacted us, we were appalled by the numbers of post specifically targeting military Men, but we found none for Men targeting military Women. Do you know of any fellow soldiers who responded to one of these ads, became involved, conception of a child happened, and shortly after, she disappeared only to resurface when she wanted child support and military benefits?

I’m assuming here that this individual wanted a GYST or higher because pay and benefits increase dramatically after this rank? Do you think that proof of this post would help in a custody battle should you have been one of the unfortunate ones that got hooked in to this? Absolutely not!

As a military Father please never make the assumption that ads like the ones above will play in your favor in a child custody battle because these individuals will not be held accountable and you most certainly will. In fact, we suspect that the State of NC loves these ads because it clearly is a sure fire disaster waiting to happen which will undoubtedly lead to child support enforcement court and more Title IV-D money.

What are some other areas we did not discuss in this article that specifically relates to military personnel that you have discovered in the NC family courts? Do you feel like you got the short end of the stick compared to civilian Fathers who are not in the military?

Is NC one of the States that prevents a Mother from filing for custody of a child while the Father is deployed overseas? If not, what does this say about Fathers Rights and the respect our legislators have for military Fathers? And if so, did it really matter because once you came home she got exactly what she wanted in the courts anyway?

The American Mothers Political Party (AMPP) is a group of Women who have banned together over what they see as biased and dangerous court for Women and Children and who are having “hissy fits” over the fact that more and more courts are moving towards equally shared parenting and that some Fathers are getting custody of their children. What prompted this article is when a Mother came to our Facebook page today and asked for advise on what she should do about her situation which involved a New Jersey Judge giving the Father full custody and him moving to North Carolina. As a group adamantly for equally shared parenting (unlike American Mothers Political Party) we decided to offer her some words of advise because we do not believe any parent should be without his/her children and the courts should do everything to maximize children’s access to both parents. And, they most certainly should not be allowing the custodial parent to be moving children many States away from the non-custodial parent and family. After giving her our statement, I decided to check this Mothers Facebook page and found this gem:

Now I get the anger, but calling ALL custodial Fathers Woman and Child abusers along with abductors gave me a lot of insight to the groups purpose which appears to be advocating that all Mothers should never lose custody of their children, that sharing parenting with Fathers is unacceptable, and that all Men are bad. I actually believe that non-custodial parenthood is harder on Mothers than it is Fathers because society expects Mothers to have custody of their children and if they don’t, then they must be child abusers. In the same vein, when a Father is non-custodial, society accepts that this is just the way it is and he is a fit Father. So yes, I get why the ladies at the American Mothers Political Party (AMPP) are angry.

But here is a little bit of information that these Mothers will likely fail to see, they have brought every bit of this issue on their heads themselves after a century of having children with Men, then promptly taking control of the children via an arrogant entitlement theory, calling him a sexual and domestic abuser, and seeking to do exactly what these Women are so angry about. The pathology associated with being tormented by being a non-custodial Mother and alienated from her children, but then working to create a court system that advocates the kid’s Fathers to experience it 100% of the time is exactly what the new era courts are starting to smack the hands of Mothers.

It is unfortunate to think that these angry militant Women have come together for their own demise, but there is another layer to story that is almost hard to fathom. If you look at the American Mothers Political Party (AMPP) website, you will see a lot of very radical images and thoughts against hating Men as if these Men were the ones that made them non-custodial. I hate to inform these Mothers, but the Father was just doing exactly what you were doing in playing the family court game and just happened to win. In fact, the Judge made you non-custodial. Perhaps, just perhaps, new era Judges with male sons are put of by the entitlement theory many Mothers are bringing to the courts, but we are going to get to that in a minute.

Let’s take a look at some images I have compiled from the AMPP Facebook site which basically leaves one with the idea that all Men are Domestic Violence offenders, sexual sadist, child abusers, and Women are always upstanding naturally protective Mothers without an ounce of problems:

What the American Mothers Political Party forgot to mention is that there were Women there readily willing to spread their legs and let him Father these children most likely so they could get social services benefits. Unless AMPP wants to reveal some way that Men are telepathically impregnating Women preventing them from having abortions, then they are going to have to face the music on this fact.

Why is this on AMPP’s site if their group is about court reform such that Women never lose custody? Or, is it possible that these Women are nothing more than a hate group attempting to denigrate all Men? It appears what they are trying to accomplish is creating a group of very angry Women who hate Men and then want to walk into a courtroom where Male Judges and Women Judges with Sons are and stomp their feet like little girls and demand their children. Furthermore, a news flash for The American Mothers Political Party, your enemy is not men, this is the organization that is going to bring national shared parenting to fruition and is a group growing at about four times the rate you are.

Now, we are not attempting to denigrate Women or non-custodial Mothers, but this group of angry Women need a dose of reality and we are going to provide two videos that show Mother perpetuated violence and death on their children. Sure, we know they will conjure up some reasoning for it like patriarchal  martians from another planet making these Mothers do this and that’s fine, we all need a good laugh. But HERE, WE ARE GOING TO provide a live blog of Women and Mother perpetuated abuse on kids just to help AMPP feel some reality.

American Mothers Political Party and Their Sons

Men are bad, they are ALL domestic wife and child beaters, sexual molesters, and should NEVER have custody of their children much less shared parenting. This while they rock and nurse their male children who likely will one day become Fathers.

Let that sink in for a moment.

These Women are advocating for a system that is going to eat their male children if they have their way, and are also advocating that they as future paternal grandmothers be alienated from their children. Again, the pathology is hard to miss.

Is AMPP going to train their male children to have babies and then accept their own marginalization? Are these Mothers going to stand beside future AMPP members who cast a shadow of doubt on their own sons as domestic batterers and molesters so they can wine sole custody? Are members of the American Mothers Political Party going to shun their own paternal grandchildren if the Father gets visitation?

If so, then I have a good idea why the Mothers in this group have lost custody.

So yea, why isn’t AMPP working to end all violence on children instead of just calling out Fathers? In our group, we have gone to bat for many non-custodial mothers and advocate for even handed Domestic Violence laws that attempt to end all violence. This is why organizations like ours is making headway and groups like the American Mothers Political Party will fail.

Stay militant ladies, and just remember that those female Judges you bring your entitlement theories before likely have sons with children and that should give you some idea why more and more of you are finding yourself in unfamiliar roles.

How We Can Fight Groups Like The American Mothers Political Party

As we have stated time and time again, each time a Father is made non-custodial, there are at least two Women in the paternal family who get equally hurt. These Women include Step-Mothers and paternal Grandmothers. It is imperative that these Women start standing up to Women that exist in groups like the one this article is about.

And for you non-custodial mothers in our group that understand this fight is not a Mother versus Father fight and one most certainly about parents versus the government I want to thank you for not buying into this groups angry, hostile, and militant message that will surely do nothing more than provide a toxic environment in their and their kids lives.

Our message to American Mothers Political Party is that you should spend less time on the Internet being angry Women and finding a way to appeal to Judges as parents who have their kids best interest at heart – one that most surely involves a child(ren) having equal access to both parents and extended families.

Every time I read an article Amanda Marcotte writes on Feminism and Women, I have two thoughts. First, I appreciate her theories and articles because it helps to strengthen and embolden the hundreds of millions of Fathers and Women in paternal families who are finally standing up to the feminist controlled family courts and having a huge influence on politics as it relates to family law. Second, I have remorse for non-custodial Mothers who are probably unable to see that angry militant Women like Amanda Marcotte and their feminist hatred of Men is the driving force behind Men and paternal related females pushing so hard against Legislators and Judges who now have to consider the shear numbers of Men, their families, and their votes. Simply put, feminist like Amanda Marcotte are responsible for the steady increase in non-custodial Mothers because every time she writes an article LIKE THIS, it unites the Fathers Rights and Shared Parenting advocates.

Update: We though this was the perfect place to share this bit of information. It seems Melissa Etheridge and her spouse (female) are involved in a custody battle where both have not such nice things to say about each other, and much of it is allegations that each are abusive. Oh I so can’t wait until Gay Marriage is legal in all 50 states so that custody battles and domestic violence in these groups become more spotlighted. Women like Amanda Marcotte are going to have a hard time explaining the framework she has layed down when it starts happening in her own backyard.

Here is the problem with the family courts, they do not care who the custodial parent is, or who the non-custodial parent is as long as there is a massive division that keeps parents fighting and making lawyers rich, as well as keeping the Title IV-D system pumping and maintaining Welfare. Ten years ago, it was easy to push Fathers to the outer limits of their kid’s lives because there was no serious Fathers Rights or Shared Parenting movement and Politicians/Judges did not have to worry about a backlash. But, there was a well funded and united feminist lobby that demanded Judges and Politicians maintain a Mother centered court. In 2013, Legislators and Judges have to contend with a very fast rising wave of very angry Fathers and Women in their families who have had enough, and Judges are now trying to keep both sides from eating them at election time. Thus, you are starting to see more Mothers become non-custodial as Judges try to shed their widespread bias within the courts and desperate attempts by angry feminist like Amanda Marcotte to save them by perpetuating the idea that all Men are natural child abusers, pedophiles, and domestic batterers while Women are always naturally protective Mothers.

Now, you have to keep in mind that Amanda Marcotte makes a living from Feminism and Women hating Men. On every one of her blogs, there is either a Donate button, advertising, or affiliate links that she drives money from when thousands of people visits her blogs. Many times, we have to wonder if her hate speech is just designed to send people clamoring to her sites to see what she has to say in the hopes they line her pockets with advertising money. Unfortunately, if this is the case, she needs to remember that Legislators and Judges are watching and realizing that her speeches are pushing more and more Men and Women into the political arena of family law and decrying the systematic bias we have experienced for a century. As a result, Judges are now forced to equalize the courts and you now see more non-custodial Mothers which is unfortunate because we believe that children are best served by having two parents and extended families, and gain in no way from hateful ideological feminist who have agendas.

Amanda Marcotte And The Silver Bullet Of Domestic Violence and Pedophilia

We believe that radical feminist like Amanda Marcotte realize that the family courts are quickly seeing that there is a massive eruption of Fathers Rights and Shared Parenting advocates hitting Legislators and Judges hard and they are desperately searching for a silver bullet that will cause Women to rise up in defiance of it. That silver bullet is either Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, or Pedophilia. In just about every speech you hear Amanda Marcotte and radical feminist give these days, it is filled with consistent rhetoric that Men are by nature domestic batterers, pedophiles, or child abusers while Women are always protective. Unfortunately for Ms. Marcotte, prior to the Internet age it was easy to perpetuate this misinformation, but it is not so easy in the digital information age as these series of pages clearly points out. Every time feminist attempts to exploit Domestic Violence by making it all Men’s fault, this site along with many others are going to continue to provide video and news reports that prove otherwise.

And, there are feminist who are starting to get educated on this unfortunate rhetoric that feminism continues to try and perpetuate.

Amanda Marcotte also needs to hear from the hundreds of millions of Mothers in this country who are sick of seeing a society that screams about absent Fathers push them aside when they attempt to not be absent. These Mothers also need to stand up to feminism and let them know that it is not always Men who are committing violence and abuse because you are seeing real world examples every day unlike Ms. Marcotte who lives in a agenda filled vacuum that helps her make a living by spinning ideas that her handlers want her recite.

Don’t believe me? Google her name and see what she has to say about your sons, brothers, husbands and fathers. After doing so, we recommend you either join your State’s Shared Parenting or Fathers Rights group because if you don’t, your Son’s and your life with your children are at serious risk with people like Amanda Marcotte in the world spinning an agenda that has gone from the once noble human equality movement to one of dominance and hate.

Non-Custodial Mothers, Amanda Marcotte, and Feminism

Non-Custodial Mothers have a serious dilemma. They have the choice to become angry militant man hating feminist like Amanda  Marcotte wants them to, or become angry at a system that simply refuses to create equal parents so that there are no more non-custodial parents. If these Mothers choose to take the first road, then you are doing nothing but settling for a life of anger, turmoil, and angst while you work to maintain a system that will only serve to harm your sons when they become Fathers, and yourself as a paternal grandmother later in life.

If non-custodial Mothers choose the second road, then they can hope for a day when no Mother, Father, or Grandparent every has to spend a day alienated from their children so that a system of lawyers, politicians, and yes bloggers and professional feminist like Ms. Marcotte can make money and push agendas.

Amanda Marcotte does have some history in North Carolina. During the Duke Lacross Rape Matter, even after it was discovered that Crystal Mangum was lying about the entire incident and came out that she had made the entire thing up much to the amazement of the many feminist who were supporting her, Ms. Marcotte continued her stance that everyone who has defended the Duke Players are rape apologist. Keep in mind now that this is AFTER the truth came out. She is also quoted as saying:

“I’ve been sort of casually listening to CNN blaring throughout the waiting area and good fucking god is that channel pure evil. For awhile, I had to listen to how the poor dear lacrosse players at Duke are being persecuted just because they held someone down and fucked her against her will—not rape, of course, because the charges have been thrown out. Can’t a few white boys sexually assault a black woman anymore without people getting all wound up about it? So unfair.”

Again, this after the world learned that the rape allegations were made up, but this gives us a glimpse into Ms. Marcotte’s reality. She wants SO bad for Men to be bad so that Women can win, she will publicly admonish Men even when they are found to be good. And ladies, these are your sons we are talking about.

If non-custodial Mothers want to buy into the idea that all Men are natural abusers so that it helps lessen your pain and helps you unite around a support system, that is fine. But in doing so, you may as well look your son’s in the eye and tell him that just before you throw him under a bus. Remember, Amanda Marcotte does not have a Son or Man in her life, she can spin the wheels of hatred all day long hoping you buy into it and perpetuate feminist governance and hatred. She will never have to experience her Son hating her when he becomes a  Man, but you will.

Oklahoma Republican Governor Mary Fallin, as it relates to the baby Veronica and Dusten Brown matter, has lost all respect one can imagine with this organization. Unfortunately, being a NC organization for Fathers Rights and Equally Shared Parenting, Governor Fallin probably does not care what we think, but in this article we are going to give compelling information that many Oklahoma families should consider in future elections Governor Fallin runs in, as well as future elections any Republicans run in as they are complicit in this matter. Here is the problem for the Governor, according to the national census done in 2007, it was found that 40.7 percent of children in the United States were born to parents who were not married, a figure that rose 8 percentage points from just six years prior. In 2013, it is estimated that well over 46% of children in the U.S. are being brought into the world in very complex legal situations which the Oklahoma Governor and Republicans in the State refuse to do anything about. To add more problems to this disturbing data, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin is complicit in not fixing Okla. Stat. tit. 10, § 7501-1.2 which simply states that:

“A birth mother is under no obligation to inform the putative father of her pregnancy. In fact, if a birth mother creates an adoption plan during her pregnancy, she is not required to serve the Notice of Plan for Adoption on the putative father. If a putative father is served a Notice of Plan for Adoption, he must follow one of the options outlined in the notice. If he fails to act upon the Notice of Plan for Adoption, his failure to act will be seen by a court as a denial of interest in asserting parental rights and will be sufficient grounds to terminate his parental rights.”

Furthermore, that…

“Oklahoma law places the burden upon the putative father to learn if a pregnancy resulted from a relationship with the birth mother.“

HELP SUPPORT STANDING OUR GROUND FOR VERONICA BROWN

Clarification: At the time this article was published, Dusten Brown is not incarcerated or on his way to South Carolina to answer to the charges Governor Haley wants him to answer to even though he turned himself in after Governor Fallin signed an arrest warrant for him. Dusten has an Oct 3rd, 2013 hearing which could decide if he is extradited or not.

In short, the Baby Veronica Brown and Dusten Brown case simply revolves around a disgusting and unethical law in Oklahoma that allows Mothers to conceive a child with a Man 46% of the time, never tell him, start an adoption, and put the burden on the Father in a VERY short period of time to discover that all this is happening and try to stop it. Of course, the obvious 800 lb gorilla in the room is how was Dusten Brown supposed to provide support to Baby Veronica and the Mother if there is a system in place that advocates him never knowing?

As stated earlier, our organization had little respect for Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin in the beginning of this article, but knowing about Okla. Stat. tit. 10, § 7501-1.2 and the burden the Governor is placing on families related to almost half of children born in Oklahoma, our level of disrespect is now through the roof.

But in the Baby Veronica and Dusten Brown matter, it gets worse.

Governor Mary Fallin has information that Dusten Brown was being deployed to Iraq while all of this was going on and expected him to discover a pregnancy that the State advocates him never knowing about, to begin legal proceedings, and do so while shipping off to defend this county as a U.S. soldier.  Knowing this, our level of disrespect is now at a extreme anger because it is not Dusten Brown who has created the problems that Governor Fallin says he is not working to fix, it is fact the Oklahoma statutes that have created this controversy which is likely having serious implications on now 4 yr old Veronica. And then for her to sign an arrest warrant on him so that he can be extradited to another stand to stand before a Judge on felony charges?

Here Are The Groups Of People We Think Should Take Issue With Governor Mary Fallin and Republicans In The State Of Oklahoma As It Relates To The Baby Veronica Adoption Case:

• Every Father in the State of Oklahoma, be it a putative father, divorced father, or married father. To us, the Governor has shown that she has no value in Fathers and we suspect her Family Courts follow her lead.
• Every Woman in a paternal family. It is hard to imagine that Women in Dusten and Veronica’s life are not experiencing the same level of anxiety, despair, and pain that they are experiencing and we are proud to see many Women standing up for Veronica and Dusten.
• Every single member of the Cherokee Nation.
• Oklahoma Mothers with Sons who may one day see their grandchildren go through a unethical adoption.
• Every US. Armed Forces service member who either will become a father one day, or is currently a father.
• Every Oklahoma citizen who advocates for biological parents rights.

In a State with roughly 3,814,820 citizens it is hard to imagine that well over 50% of the State does not belong or is related to someone in the groups above and we believe everyone above should join in supporting the Standing Our Ground For Veronica Brown movement. Additionally, we also believe that Governor Fallin (And potentially Republicans as a whole) should lose any future respect and political support.

It is important in viewing the video below to realize what is going on here. In Oklahoma, there is a law that says Dusten Brown (A BIOLOGICAL FATHER) does not have to be told he is a Father of a child or that an adoption is taking place and will face extradition to another State to answer to felony charges at the hands of adoptive parents if he refuses to hand over a child Oklahoma makes impossible for him to legitimate despite gearing up for deployment to Iraq. And this is America Governor Fallin?

We Believe Governor Mary Fallin And State Republicans Are Pandering To The Enormous Adoption Industry And Using The Baby Veronica Case As Precedent

While the baby Veronica Brown and Dusten Brown saga has gained national attention leading many to believe that this case is unique, the fact is there are hundreds of thousands of other biological fathers in the State of Oklahoma who have experienced this exact same scenario based on Okla. Stat. tit. 10, § 7501-1.2 and the adoption industry loves it. And, there is little doubt that the very powerful adoption lobby in Oklahoma does not have the ear of Governor Fallin.

Furthermore, when most Oklahoma citizens think of adoption, they probably see it as a system that is giving children a chance at better home, or a home at all. Unfortunately, the baby Veronica case has now smeared that thinking as  many people across the country can easily imagine adoption agencies sitting before birth mothers with a smile on their face excoriating a birth father so that an adoption can take place, so that a lawyer who handles the adoption can get richer, so that an adoption agency can market themselves, and so that an enormous group of lobbyist can feel safe in claiming that all putative Fathers (Your sons, brothers, and friends) are horrible people who deserve to have their children adopted out even if they weren’t allowed to know they had a child in the first place.

Let there be NO mistake about it, the adoption agencies love the fact that 46% of Oklahoma newborns have no legal Fathers which helps an industry flourish. And JUST on these grounds alone, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin needs to feel enormous political heat on this because she knows it is happening every single day.

Furthermore, we think few in Oklahoma and South Carolina realize the fact that the adoptive parents in the baby Veronica matter are actually being setup for failure.

If Dusten Brown loses Veronica, it is hard to imagine that at 12:01 on her 18th birthday, when no Governor, No Judge, and certainly the adoption parents can stop Dusten from walking back into Veronica’s life and showing her what transpired 14 years ago, we suspect that Veronica will then have very serious contempt for the people she thought had her best interest at hand. They can move her out of the country, change her name, or whatever, but there has been to much publicity in this case for this child not to learn about it at the age of 18.

Immediate Activism Needed Against Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin As It Relates To The Baby Veronica Brown Matter

• In an effort to put Governor Mary Fallin’s name at the top of all global search engine results, please FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS HERE.
• Tweet this article to Governor Fallin and Oklahoma State Republicans. @GovMaryFallin and @officialOKGOP
• Input this article into comments and a message to the Facebook page of Governor Fallin and the Facebook page of the Oklahoma State Republican Party.
• Share this article extensively and routinely on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other related social networking sites.
• Leave extensive comments on this article using the comment system below.
• Do not forget this case. It will be very easy to forget this case in future elections for many people. We ask that you continue to follow this matter regardless of what happens and to hold Governor Mary Fallin and Oklahoma Republicans accountable in ALL future elections unless they resolve this successfully for Dusten and Veronica Brown.

We think it is important to state again that the numbers of voters in Oklahoma this case is hurting, or has the potential to hurt is enormous. This case is a direct slap in the face of Fathers and Women in their families who love their grandchildren, nieces and nephews, step-children, and step-siblings. This case is a slap to the Cherokee Nation. This case is a slap in the face of Men in our Armed Forces, and it is a slap in the face of biological parents rights.

The adoptive parents in this matter have the option to adopt another child regardless of how painful it may be to them. Dusten Brown will never have the opportunity to have another Veronica Brown, and Veronica Brown will never have another biological Father.

Please stop unethical adoptions in Oklahoma, and by all means pull every ounce of voter and political support away from Governor Mary Fallin and State Republicans who support her if this matter is not resolved correctly.

Matt And Melanie Capobianco of Charleston SC are the adoptive parents of Baby Veronica and are currently involved in a multiple State battle over her future with her biological Father Dusten Brown. Mr and Mrs Capobianco adopted Veronica after the birth Mother placed the child up for adoption after she ended the relationship she was in with Dusten Brown. It should be noted that in both Oklahoma and South Carolina there is a law that allows for a birth mother to never inform any potential birth Father that he has a child, or that she plans on adopting the child out. Additionally, both States place all the burden on a birth Father to somehow discover all this and stop the process usually within 90 days. However, the big question is how are these putative Fathers suppose to stop this process if the State allows and even encourages birth Mothers to never inform a Father? This is how Matt and Melanie Capobianco capitalized on getting baby Veronica although in this case the birth father did know about the pregnancy, but not the adoption. Matt and Melanie Capobianco are claiming that sense Dusten did nothing to support the Mother, he is disinterested in the child and therefore they are saving Baby Veronica as adoptive parents and should some to live with them in South Carolina. However, court records clearly show that the birth mother ended all contact with the birth Father and never told him she planned to adopt the child out.

But the intent of this article is not to debate the legal aspects of the battle Matt and Melanie Capobiano have with Dusten Brown as it relates to baby Veronica. This article will point out where we believe Matt and Melanie will now be lame duck adoptive parents to Veronica given that she has been with her biological Father for two years and calls him daddy, and the fact that this case has acquired national attention which the child at a reasonably early age will likely discover. We also believe that at 18 years of age, the child we be well aware that she was adopted out to SC while living with her biological Father and taken from her Native American heritage and culture. Unfortunately for Matt and Melanie, this will likely lead to Veronica returning to what children naturally want, and that is to be with one or both of their biological parents. Given that Veronica is now 4 years old and her legal battle could go on for another year, we believe that Matt and Melanie Capobianco will have about 7 years with Veronica before she begins to realize what has happened, and then another 6 years before she is a legal adult and can tell Governor Nikki Haley, Governor Mary Fallin, the family courts, and her adoptive parents to go to hell and return to where her biological roots and culture is.

In short, both Governors Haley and Fallin, along with the family courts are setting Matt and Melanie Capobiano up for failure even if it is found that they are on solid legal grounds. Personally, if I was an adoptive parent who had legal backing and discovered that there was a birth Father who wanted to raise the child and who was caught up in these horrible adoption laws U.S. States have with putative Fathers, I can’t imagine that I would want to stand in the way of that bond even if it meant enduring emotional pain, and certainly not if the child has been with her biological Father for two years. But, apparently Matt and Melanie Capobianco do.

What The Likely Future Holds For Matt And Melanie Capobianco In SC If They Win Custody Of Baby Veronica

We suspect that Matt and Melanie Capobianco have a huge following of supporters that most likely comes from the adoption industry and other adoptive parents who gained children where the biological Father never had to be informed that his biological child even existed.

We believe that the baby Veronica case has taken the once beautiful adoption process by which children who had no parents were taken in by loving adoptive parents and turned it into an obvious industry where adoptive parents capitalize on laws that prevent one of the biological parents from even knowing about the birth of a child.

We believe that Matt and Melanie Capobianco will likely come into contact with many in South Carolina who have experienced exactly what Dusten Brown has experienced which is an insanely biased family court which has no value in Fathers. Veronica will likely have female school teachers who’s sons had their children adopted out, or who were beaten down by the family courts. Matt and Melanie will likely have contact with Armed Forces service members who had their children adopted out or who were prevented by the family courts in being an active Father.  We even suspect that Matt and Melanie Capobianco have friends who have sons they fear this could happen to.

With over 46% of children being brought into this world by Mothers who are not married, and who can legally never inform a birth Father of an adoption process, we suspect that the Capobianco family will likely come into contact with a lot of people in SC who have experienced this. These people will include Fathers and Women in paternal families who have learned about the new dark cloud over the adoption process and who most certainly have had to deal with a biased family court system.

If we take a hard look at this adoption process, it is maddening. In seeing no value in Dusten Brown, is Matt Capobianco essentially saying that he has no value in him being a Father? And, does Melanie Capobianco see the sons of South Carolina mothers as nothing more than a gender that can create a new set of adoptable children for future adoptive parents?

How is the Native American community in SC going to receive Matt and Melanie Capobianco?

Why in the world any adoptive parents would want to endure this, along with a child turning on them at 18 years of age is beyond me.

Is Matt and Melanie Capobianco Ready For 12:01am on Veronica’s 18th Birthday?

NC Fathers doubts very seriously that this saga will end if Matt and Melanie Capobianco wins the final court battle and they successfully have a hand in sending law enforcement out to Dusten’s house to take Veronica from the arms of a Man that she calls daddy.

Are Matt and Melanie ready for the minute Veronica turns 18, for there to be thousands of websites that go up calling her home? Do they not realize that children search their names on the global Internet out of curiosity?

We suspect that long before age 18, Veronica will have already stumbled across her name on the Internet and will have a basic understanding that she had a Father who fought for her, whom she lived with for 2 years, whom she sees videos of holding her at age 4 and her calling him daddy. And this adoptive couple is seriously going to go through with this?

If so, I respectfully say that it is time to question all adoptive parents in both South Carolina and Oklahoma because this is not what adoption is supposed to be about. And, it is time for advocates for biological parents to rise up in very strong unification and demand that politicians who refuse to fix these adoption laws be sent home and replaced with one’s that actually have the best interest of children at hand.

Perhaps if anything, some good could come from the baby Veronica matter. Perhaps this will be the final straw that sparks a massive uprising of Fathers and Women in paternal families who end the century old practice of destroying our lives so that lobby groups and special interest can further their agendas.

Perhaps in addition to the baby Veronica matter, the legacy of Matt and Melanie Capobianco will be that they started a renewed Fathers Rights movement.

Derek Deandre Walker was a 26 yr old Father who was shot by Durham NC police after the young man became distraught one day after a lengthy custody battle in which he lost, then was confronted by police in downtown Durham where he was found with a firearm. As reported by many on the scene, Derek Walker was reported to yell at at police “shoot me, shoot me” right before pointing the gun at officers, at which point he was shot dead. In looking at Derek Walker’s Facebook page, one can clearly see where he was being inundated with significant amounts of emotion and pain at the prospect of becoming a marginalized and lost court ordered non-custodial parent as it was revealed that his last Facebook post stated “Don’t call me and don’t talk to me because I’m not responding. I hope I die very soon and a fast death because this world I live in is sorry.” and “I can’t take [what] my son’s mother is putting me through,” Walker wrote. “She has filled [my son's] head up with so much false stuff. He has told me I’m a bad father, I’m not a good dad.”, and finally “I’m ready to die because I have no reason to live right now.”

In this article we are going to explore what could easily have prevented this tragedy, as well as explore many of the problems with the Durham County NC Family Courts that likely led to the anguish of this young Father. We will say that neither the Durham NC police or courts are responsible for Derek’s death because it is clear that he chose a bad path in dealing with his pain that we do not recommend, but while the Judge’s in the Durham NC courts are not responsible, they VERY easily could have resolved this custody dispute that was amicable for both parents and children that likely would have led to Derek Walker walking out of court a very happy Father.

Why couldn’t the Durham County NC Family Court Judges just allowed Derek Walker to be a equal parent instead of a marginalized visitor to his children?

This is the central question we ask daily and a sentence that is paramount to this organization existing.

What is ironic in this clear case of police assisted suicide are three things. One, is that our courts and politicians love to throw deadbeat and disinterested Fathers up to the dogs when it can be used at election time, but then when they encounter a Father that is neither deadbeat or disinterested, they routinely court order exactly that. Second, the statistics love to paint an inaccurate portrayal of young African-American Fathers who are thugs, deadbeats, drug dealers, and pimps, yet we have an example tonight of a Father that was neither. Third, one of the reasons the court give us for not allowing Fathers like Derek Walker to be equal parents, is that it causes conflict. I’m guessing the scene of the shooting of Derek puts that argument to rest.

This Man just wanted to be a Father on his own terms, yet once again we have another example of the strangers in black robes continuing to follow antiquated laws and procedures that are causing non-custodial families and children considerable amounts of conflict and anguish. Yet again, we have legislators in NC who refuse to consider equally shared parenting and possibly creating a climate where neither parent is pushed out of their child’s life by the courts, and now we have another parent dead in NC. The Durham County NC courts could have easily empowered both parents in this matter, yet they continue to bury their heads in the sand and continue a century old bias which demands that one parent win while another parent loses in our courts which then sets off two decades of fighting and is directly related to making our children sick. And unfortunately, for Mr. Walker, it has led to a senseless tragedy that could have been avoided is the heavy handed courts gave a crap about families and children. And yes, we say families because this is very much a family issue. I can guarantee you tonight that many people in Derek Walker’s family are hurting. We can guarantee you when Derek’s child grows up to learn about his Father, he/she will likely ask: Why couldn’t my Dad just have been allowed to be a Father and will likely be looking at the other parent who fought hard to be the “winning parent” in the custody battle for those answers.

Again, Why couldn’t the Durham County NC Family Court Judges just allowed Derek Walker to be a equal parent instead of a marginalized visitor to his children? Surely the Judges in this matter prefer that over the death of this parent? Surely the Durham NC police would have preferred that over confronting a emotionally distraught parent in the street with a wish to die right? Surely the other parent in this matter would have preferred to have a equally participative Father in the picture rather than a payment provider correct?

Nope, not in NC. In our State we love to take parents who want to be equal parents and push them to the farthest margins of their kid’s lives via the courts and in favor of furthering an industry that benefits from one side of a family being alienated from their children.

The Durham NC Industry That Flourished As Derek Walker Was Being Shot By Police

Unfortunately, Derek Walker probably did not realize that his fate was sealed long before the custody battle papers were even filed. In North Carolina, we need very marginalized parents paying increasing amounts of child support so that social services programs can keep up with the increasing amounts of goodies custodial parents gobble up in the way of welfare, food stamps, educational benefits, job assistance, daycare assistance, Medicaid, and other programs that get payed for via the Title IV-D system which gives back States money on each dollar they collect in child support. Had Derek been allowed to be an equal Father he likely would have payed little (if any) child support which would have mean a decrease in federal money coming back to the State of NC. Apparently, the State of NC, legislators, and Judges sees this as more important that parents.

Sometime before Derek Walker was shot by Durham NC police, two lawyers made very good money in the dispute leading up to the custody battle which triggered this event, and there was an incentive for Derek and his ex-wife to have fought for 18 years rather than the courts working to end the dispute via equal parenting.

Child support workers in the State of NC represents about 5,000 jobs, and it is their job to normalize the concept that the ONLY good way a non-custodial parent can support their children is via paying the federal government money. Our belief is that the normal way for a non-custodial parent to support their children is via direct financial, emotional, physical, and psychological support and love for their children, and that children having two equal parents goes much further in their success rather than cutting the head off one side of the family. The industry of child support can not thrive unless an entire side of children’s families is marginalized to the role of visitors rather than loving and active parents and grandparents.

Social services is another industry in Durham NC who benefits when one parents loses in the family court because they know the soon to come Title IV-D money will ensure their employment and programs they deliver. If Derek Walker’s child support obligation was about $500, he would have been a tool that helped trigger $500 in federal money that comes back to Durham County DSS and helps to keep food stamps and Medicaid running smoothly.

Without non-custodial Fathers like Derek Walker, an entire industry of lobby groups who work for the groups that benefit from biased family law would have no work.

Activism Needed To Support Derek Walker, His Family, And Other Durham NC Non-custodial Families

• Immediately email Representative Larry Hall ( Larry.Hall@ncleg.net ) and Senator Mike Woodard ( Mike.Woodard@ncleg.net ) of Durham NC and ask them to find out why Derek Walker was denied the opportunity to be an equal parent. In your email to them, include the URL of this article.
• Extensively share this article on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other social networks.
• Using the comment section below, leave your most insightful comments on the Family Law system so that others in Durham NC can learn more. This is also a great place to leave expressions of condolences to Derek Walker’s family.
• Email the link to this article to the Herald-Sun asking them to follow up with this on this article and to start asking Judges and Legislators why this system is allowed to continue. They can be reached by emailing bashley@heraldsun.com
• Join our Mailing list and Facebook page as a Durham County NC non-custodial family and help us build a massive organization of non-custodial family voices in the NC legislature.

The Derek Walker shooting should be a wake-up call to Durham NC non-custodial families from every racial and cultural background, economic status, education, and political party affiliation that the divisive family courts are creating havoc on families and children and that it is time to end the nature of the courts that NEEDS parents fighting in order for one parent to lose, and causes incredible amounts of pain for the parent and family that has to lose.

The tragic shooting could have easily been avoided simply through the empowerment of both parents.

If you are a Durham County NC non-custodial family member reading this article it is vital that you join our organization and encourage the tens of thousands of other families in the county to join our organizations because the simple truth is if this can happen to Derek, it can happen to your family as well.

Judge Lee Teague is a newly appointed Judge in the Pitt County NC District and Family Courts that we want to welcome to the bench. In this article, we are going to point out some concerns that we feel Pitt County non-custodial parents, grandparents, step-parents, and other family members need for Judge Teague to realize when considering child support and child custody matters. This article will also be a wake-up call for non-custodial families in the county who are systematically being marginalized in the kids lives while the custodial side of the family is being empowered. If you are reading this article as a non-custodial family member, it is important that you either join us on FACEBOOK or our MAILING LIST so that you can help us build an organization of families in Pitt County who have an interest in seeing your children benefit from two equal parents and extended families rather than the historical case where non-custodial families support their children via a government agency and have very little time with their children. Additionally, in this article, we are going to point out our opinions on why this highly divisive system exists so that you can use this information when talking with Judge Lee Teague and other Pitt County Judges and Legislators at election time.

It should be noted that Judge Teague was appointed by Governor Pat McCrory after Judge Joe Blick retired.

Posts related to Judge Lee Teague and other Pitt County NC District Court Judges – Pitt County Department of Social Services, Sheriff Neil Elks, Deadbeat Dad Myth

Non-custodial families in Pitt County are encouraged to use the comment system at the end of this article to express their concerns about the family courts process as well as extensively share this article on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other networks in an effort to help educate other families. As with all our articles, we encourage Judge Teague to contact us and give us his thoughts on this article or give us his side on how ethe family courts can be improved upon, or how they are working to benefit both parents and their children in it’s current form.

Furthermore, Pitt County NC non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members should click on the red and blue graphic below to learn more about this issues we think need to see reform.

Judge Lee Teague and Pitt County NC Family Court Reform

• First and foremost, non-custodial families are tired of hearing the going on 60 year scripted reasons why having two equal parents does not work. Judge, it’s 2013, the world is a much different place and quite frankly it is time for reform. Furthermore, we will not entertain any conversation on how equally shared parenting causes conflict. The truth of the matter is pitting two parents against each other in an effort to win custody and all the goodies that come with custodial parenthood (financial assistance, daycare assistance, Medicaid, food stamps, educational assistance, tax incentives, section 8 housing) is causing all the conflict. Parents under the current system are engaged in a 18 year battle to excoriate the other parent in an effort to maintain custodial parenthood, or gain custodial parenthood. Simply put, it is time to empower both parents and give neither parent anything to gain, except learning to work together and not denigrate each other for the best interest of the child(ren).
• Judge Lee Teague should know that Pitt County NC non-custodial families are no longer willing to abide by the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and NC Bar Association’s belief that if we have our children greater amounts of the time that we will kill them and our ex-spouses. The reality is that when parents are empowered and have greater access to and direct parentage over their child this leads to greater partnership. If you want violence, then continue the current system of empowering only the custodial parent while denigrating the custodial parent.
• Judge Lee Teague and other Pitt County NC District Courts Judges should know that we have a real problem with what we call the “family court pay wall” by which it costs one parent nothing to leave a marriage/relationship and alienate a child from one parent, but costs another parent upwards of $15,000 to gain basic parental access. We are also concerned that hundreds of thousands of NC families in poverty are never able to find the money needed to hire an attorney and never see their children again.
• Judge Lee Teague should know that we are rapidly and daily educating NC non-custodial families on Title IV-D and child support enforcement program. As a non-custodial family, you should know that this program generates federal money back to the county on each dollar enforcement collects in child support that is then used to replenish social services programs. In short, your value is not on direct parentage and access to your children because you would then pay less child support which the State of NC needs you paying to trigger federal money for dependency programs and employment at social services. NC Fathers also suspects this system is directly relational to low visitation awards.
• Judge Teague should be introduced to the hypocrisy of Politicians and Judges lamenting about the wide numbers of absent parents in NC, then pushing those that do come to court to be active and engaged parents into absence 4 days a month assuming that the custodial parent isn’t allowed to move 8 states away. Perhaps when the courts starting sending the message that BOTH parents are valued, you will see less absence and attention from those that haven’t been socialized into “why try, I’m just going to lose.”
• Judge Lee Teague and other Judges in Pitt County should know that non-custodial grandparents, step-parents, and likely many children are tired of visiting one parent in jail when tough economic times hit while the State holds the hand of the custodial parent and dumps a growing amount of assistance at their feet to make it and even then allowing them to call us deadbeat?
• Judge Teague should know that Pitt County NC non-custodial families are tired of filing multiple contempt violations when custodial parents do not follow your orders at the cost of $3000 to us (multiple times)  and have you slap the hand of the custodial parent who gets to do this for free.
• Judge Teague should know that our organization believes that lawyers are making about $80,000 off two parents over 18 years in a system that is designed to promote fighting. You know this sir, because the family courts are similar to revolving doors and a cattle call where the same parents come into court time and time again wanting something, or something changed. While this is good for the lawyers, we suspect that $80,000 would be better served with children who can use the money for college, to purchase a home, start a business, or pay off some medical bills.

Pitt County NC Judge Lee Teague and Non-Custodial Family Voters

NC Fathers wants non-custodial family voters to know that if you are sick and tired of being marginalized as it relates to your step-children, grandchildren, and children then you hold the key to making that stop. Non-Custodial families come from every single race and culture, economic status, political party affiliation, and educational level. You are in essence one huge lobby group and swing voter group but historically you have not united around one single organization who advocates for you in Raleigh.

One of the reasons you get the short end of the stick in the Pitt County family courts is that huge lobby groups that work for custodial parents have a seat at the table in Raleigh and have for 60+ years. It is time for Judge Lee Teague and Legislators in North Carolina to be held accountable for your marginalization.

This is especially important for African-American and Hispanic voters who have long been demoralized as natural absent parents, and for non-custodial Mothers and Women in paternal families who also deserve to have their voices heard because you are equally hurt in this system.

Again, we ask that you leave your comments below, and to share this article on Judge Lee Teague and the Pitt County NC District Courts with other non-custodial families in Pitt County.

Before we begin our article on false allegations of child sexual assault and molestation in North Carolina, it is important to remember that NC Fathers is NOT a law firm and nobody in our organization is a lawyer. Having said that, NOTHING in this article should be taken as legal advice. If you are accused of Child Sexual Assault And Molestation then you should immediately contact an attorney. It should also be noted that this article ONLY addresses cases where there are no witnesses or any physical evidence of abuse and the case is solely circumstantial where a parent makes the allegation or a child makes it. Certainly, in cases where physical evidence or credible witnesses exist, this article is void. Furthermore, It should also be noted that our team of bloggers had serious debates on whether this article should even be written because undoubtedly there will be significant blow back on this article because of the topic. However, after careful consideration we decided to write our thoughts on this issue because the reality is that false allegations of sexual misconduct on children are becoming more and more common by malicious parents who use these allegations as a means to either win a child custody battle, or overturn a custodial decision by a Judge in a past child custody decision. Furthermore, it should be noted that this article is written from the perspective of Men who are accused of child sexual assault or molestation because that is the most frequent scenario, but we do recognize that many Women are or will have the allegations used against them in the NC Family Courts. NC Fathers does not believe that tactical false allegations of a sexual nature are as common as false allegations of domestic violence which has reached epidemic proportions, but it is our belief that this is starting to happen on a more frequent basis.

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Our organization also wants to make it painfully clear that custodial fathers face an enormous statistical likelihood that a false allegation of this nature will be used against them in an effort to overturn a custody decision.

In short, a false allegation of sexual assault or molestation on a child is a death sentence regardless of whether the allegation is found to be true, or whether it is found to be false. If true, then nobody within our organization expects anything less than life in prison without the possibility of parole. However, in cases where a false allegation is found to not be true, the lifelong consequences are permanent as it will always mean a loss of career, ability to ever see your children again (in most cases), a loss of reputation, bankruptcy, and likely some level of past traumatic stress disorder.

It should be noted that allegations of child sexual misconduct has the highest conviction rate, and we are going to provide a scenario that shows why this is a fact. Consider this scenario:

Shortly after the attack in New York on 9/11, people in the area were consumed with extreme levels of anger and outrage after it was revealed that the attack was a terrorist attack committed by Muslim Men. It is conceivable, if not probable, that because of this level of shock and outrage, it would have been very easy to point to anyone on the street who appeared to be of middle eastern culture and accuse them of being a part of the attack which would have led many to seek immediate revenge without due process. This mentality is exactly why convictions of sexual misconduct on children come so easy. Because of the abhorrent nature of the accusation, jury members often find themselves in a position of “he said, she said” and it’s easy to send an innocent person to prison over protecting a child.

Law enforcement, District Attorneys, and Prosecutors know this and that is why any accusation usually always results in being arrested, charged, and convicted.

In addition, law enforcement, social services, and prosecutors are taught that children never lie, and while that may be true, it is very easy to coach a child into saying something that leads to sexual assault charges.

In a case where a Father bathes or changes a diaper of a 3-4 year old, it is very easy over a year or two for a malicious parent to ask the child “does daddy touch you down there?” or ask the child “does it tickle when daddy touches you down there”, or say “Daddy should not be touching you down there for any reason.” If this is repeated over and over, as the child gets older she could easily say to a social services agency or school counselor that daddy is touching me down there.  From there, imprisonment and social excoriation is but hours away.

The NC Child Sexual Assault and Molestation Forensic Interview

In most forensic interviews of children who are making sexual assault accusations (or a malicious parent), there are questions that law enforcement and other professionals ask that are supposed to tell if a child is perhaps making things up or has been coached. This is why most forensic interviews are video taped. However, it is important to keep in mind that there are those in law enforcement, social services, and the courts who believe that we must always prosecute EVERY accusation, but this is likely because they know that juries have a hard time believing anything the accused has to say over a child. Now having said that, there are those in law enforcement and within the courts who simply want to get at the truth. If you are the accused and you do not have an attorney present during the forensic interview who demands that these questions be asked, there is NOTHING preventing law enforcement or social services agency from asking leading and coaching questions.

Typically, those that simply want to charge, imprison, and socially excoriate the accused without any evidence are what we called “child savers” and they typically will have some motivation or agenda associated with the conviction. This could be a District Attorney about to face an election where he/she wants to use his/her conviction rate for child molesters to get re-elected, or a law enforcement officer who wants to be a hero within his/her community and get promoted.

It is also important to note that in when an allegation of child sexual assault or molestation in made in North Carolina, law enforcement will ask the accused to take a polygraph test which reportedly will have some determination on whether an arrest or charge is made. However, this polygraph is not admissible in court. In short, a polygraph can be used at the law enforcement level to decide if an arrest is made. The problem with this is that defense attorneys tell those that may be facing a false accusation to never submit to law enforcement polygraph even if you want to. However, law enforcement sees this as an admission of guilt and an arrest will be made. And, as we noted earlier, that arrest, even if found not guilty, will prevent you from ever working again and living a normal life.

Another reason that conviction rates are so high in these cases, and probably why a malicious parent will make an accusation or coach a child to make a false accusation (one that the child believes because he/she was trained to associate non-sexual contact like applying medication, bathing, or diaper changing to that of a sexual nature) is that accusation of child sexual assault and molestation is typically over charged resulting in the accused looking at spending life in prison. In these cases, it is not uncommon to see an innocent person plea bargain to a lesser sexual charge to avoid lengthy prison terms.

This is a difficult topic for sure because we know that child sexual assault and molestation does happen which has resulted in public outrage. Unfortunately, it is also VERY easy to manipulate children into believing that non-sexual touch by a Father performing routine healthcare or bathing is inappropriate. Then, when a child enters school, as part of mandatory training in North Carolina, teachers will educate children on these things and it is very likely that some teacher gets uncomfortable about something a child says and makes a mandatory report. This is especially true if there is a malicious parent standing over the teacher crying and saying something is going on.

It should also be noted that law enforcement and social services DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT A MALICIOUS PARENT WOULD LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF THE STIGMATIZATION ASSOCIATED WITH IT. Clearly, these professionals have never been in family courts where false allegations of everything under the sun is common practice.

Again, if you are facing a false allegation of child sexual assault or molestation in North Carolina, it is vitally important to immediately hire a VERY experienced attorney who has been practicing for decades, and do everything possible to cooperate with law enforcement within the boundaries your attorney advises. Just keep in mind that is this allegation does happen, and law enforcement asks you to take a polygraph but your lawyer advises against it, your going to be arrested, and your name plastered all over traditional and social media that will be there for life even if you are found not guilty.

Your Thoughts On False Allegation In These Matters

Do you believe that allegations of child sexual assault and molestation involving a parent and child should immediately result in arrest and be prosecuted legally absent any evidence or witnesses, or should the usual investigation process happen before any arrest is made?

Do you believe that a parent is capable of false allegations, coaching, or encouraging a child to remember an incident where the other parent touched the child in a non-sexual way during diaper changing, applying medications, or bathing in the hopes that the child would tell someone he/she is being touched? Would your view of this matter is the parents were involved in a NC custody battle, or where the accuser recently lost custody?

If you are a NC father or female in the paternal family, how will this article affect you in the future when you are caring for your child?

Do you believe that law enforcement, prosecutors, and social services automatically send these cases to the courts absent any evidence because they know a jury will always side with a child?

What are some ways that parents can use to minimize the risk of a false allegations of child sexual assault or molestation, or are there any besides never being around your child?

Have you experienced incidents in the past where another parent encouraged children to think or act a certain way around you in the hopes of winning their greater affection? And if so, is this a precursor to that parent using a false allegation in these matters.

If you are someone who can’t believe that we are writing this article and helping men and fathers to beat a child molestation charge, would your view of automatic arrest and prosecution change if it were your son, brother, or husband?

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